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Old 01-10-2016, 11:48 AM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
5,281 posts, read 4,560,668 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bonnie Jean McGee View Post
So sorry to hear of your loss


and yes, I tend to agree - it does hit men harder - so does Divorce IMHO


Women are just better able to cope, my theory is we've spent a lifetime putting others first and grief is no exception; women more likely to worry about how the kids fare rather than themselves.

on the plus side, older available men are like hens teeth so you shouldn't expect to be alone for long


See: whoever bought you the most casseroles
It is interesting that you equate the desired outcome of coping with a loss with finding someone to replace that loved one.

I think there is a lot more to grief than that.
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Old 01-10-2016, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
It is interesting that you equate the desired outcome of coping with a loss with finding someone to replace that loved one.

I think there is a lot more to grief than that.
I am not sure all are looking to "replace" a loved one but some are looking for companionship, conversation, loving, etc.
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Old 01-10-2016, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigpaul View Post
yeah, but who wants to get involved with the blue rinsed brigade? only the desperate and the lonely.
I love it. I am 73 and I believe the ideal age of a lady friend would be 45 to 60.
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Old 01-10-2016, 03:33 PM
 
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Well, isn't it usually the woman who is taking care of the man? In an elderly couple, it is very likely that the woman does all of most of the cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc. When the woman dies the man has to learn how to do this himself. He may not know how to survive a day without his wife doing things for him.

When the man dies, the woman is lonely and misses him but she can function and perform her own activities of daily living. As long as she is financially secure, her life does not change radically.

I know that this seems like a big oversimplification but it is based on statistics and is also something that I have witnessed with older couples that I know.
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Old 01-10-2016, 03:34 PM
 
629 posts, read 597,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
I love it. I am 73 and I believe the ideal age of a lady friend would be 45 to 60.
There are websites for that sort of thing. Make sure that you have the right amount of money to buy the woman that you want.
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Old 01-10-2016, 03:43 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manhattangirl View Post
There are websites for that sort of thing. Make sure that you have the right amount of money to buy the woman that you want.
You might be quite surprised (or maybe disappointed) at the number of my "older" male friends with younger lady friends and in some cases, she is the one picking up many of the tabs. Granted much depends on one's attitude, behavior, physical ability, etc. and some are much "younger" than others regardless of age.

ADDED

If I was going to "pay for it", she would be much younger......LOL

Last edited by johngolf; 01-10-2016 at 04:29 PM..
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Old 01-10-2016, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,349 posts, read 7,115,490 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by johngolf View Post
You might be quite surprised (or maybe disappointed) at the number of my "older" male friends with younger lady friends and in some cases, she is the one picking up many of the tabs. Granted much depends on one's attitude, behavior, physical ability, etc. and some are much "younger" than others regardless of age.
Do tell! I have been told to beware of men who want a "nurse with a purse!"
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Old 01-10-2016, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,961 posts, read 6,706,083 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
Do tell! I have been told to beware of men who want a "nurse with a purse!"
That is a running joke among my golfing buddies.

What I have seen in several cases is guys hooking up with a lady and when it becomes serious (like moving in together or marriage) and they lay their "cards" on the table, she does not have the "money" to bring to the table she led him to believe and he would be more supporting her. Two of my male friends ended it when they found out. One went ahead with it as he said they are only going to live together, not get married, and he "liked" her.

I have one buddy that did hook up with a gal (his age) that does have quite a bit more money than he does. While they live separately, the gal picks up most of the tabs (like a recent cruise) than he does. Both are happy with the arrangement.

Widow lady friend of my former wife hooked up with a widower (they lived together). When he died (unexpectedly), he left a nice sized trust in her name (fund profits to her) that reverted back to his children when she died. The kids never begrudged her. She used to say her first husband left her comfortable, but the "boyfriend" put the icing on the cake.

Last edited by johngolf; 01-10-2016 at 04:46 PM..
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Old 01-11-2016, 01:19 AM
 
2,084 posts, read 792,368 times
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Very sorry you are struggling. My condolences.

I wouldn't say males have a harder time than women but I hazard a guess that men don't tend to show it as much. Both men and women mourn the loss of intimacy; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
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Old 01-11-2016, 02:28 AM
 
Location: Monnem Germany/ from San Diego
2,242 posts, read 2,314,047 times
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Dunno in my personal experiance anyways we guys have a harder time getting over breakups so I guess becoming a widower would be harder too. I don't think it has anything to do with cooking or washing... we can do that too.

I am a Widower but I guess my situation is different. My 2nd wife died unexpectedly 6 weeks after we married. We had known each other well over 20 years. Were on and off for a few years and best friends for many. When I got divorced she had just moved back to San Diego after a contract in Texas ended and was helping my mom out a bit. We talked on the phone alot and when I was on a visit home we said the hell with it let's get married and you can move over to Germany as soon as you can. She had always wanted to live in Europe anyways. I had found a job for her and we were making plans but it never came to be.My last trip to the US was flying over to make the decision to take her off life support. She was 42.
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