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Old 11-22-2017, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Columbia SC
7,969 posts, read 6,720,934 times
Reputation: 10707

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I lost my wife to cancer two years ago today. We knew it was only a matter of time. We got all our ducks in a row and were as prepared as we could have been. Toward the end, she said she had been through enough and she wanted it over. I wanted it over for her sake also. She passed quietly and peacefully in her sleep, with me in bed beside her.

I am doing well both financially and emotionally. I could never do for anyone else, what I gladly did for her. I have decided there will not be another partner in my life as I do not want the responsibility. I do have a "FWB" and she fills that void quite nicely and that is as far as I want to go.

I am not as sad today as I expected to be. As she said to me, you have a life after me and I want you to enjoy it. I think about her. I talk to her via her cat. I dream about her some. I miss her, but life goes on.

I used this Grief and Mourning chat some after her death and it helped me as I hope it helps others.
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Old 11-22-2017, 09:38 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,681,589 times
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I'm sorry about the loss of your wife.

My father felt the same after my mother passed. Well, after he had a brief marriage three months after she died, and then immediately regretted it.

I'm glad to hear you are moving on.

Cancer sucks.
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:47 AM
 
Location: Prescott AZ
5,844 posts, read 8,432,949 times
Reputation: 10712
Wonderful to hear this news, John. I am hoping you continue on the path to life and good things as time passes. It is so hard to believe it has been 2 years already. You have the right attitude. Thank you for posting. Barb
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Old 11-22-2017, 11:49 AM
 
Location: North State (California)
28,238 posts, read 2,204,593 times
Reputation: 9889
"Love is eternal" Thank you for posting.
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Old 11-22-2017, 12:48 PM
 
4,851 posts, read 2,152,571 times
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the best place a person can be is in our hearts. She is that for you.

The "anniversary date" of such a loss...is an oddity that only those who lost to this loved one can grasp. SOmetimes it happens on that date...other times the immense grief comes weeks later as we are dilly dallying over something completely not related to them. It just does.

My greatest Loss of my Mother will be hitting the five year mark...and I still think of her every day...and grieve sometimes with a new wound to be healed.

The one day or one moment at a time holds true, I hope yours remain comforted in knowing you did the best you could for her...She was blessed to have you.
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Old 11-22-2017, 04:10 PM
 
236 posts, read 81,398 times
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Thanks for posting.

Grief and memories remain in the background, and creep back when you least expect it.
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
17,430 posts, read 3,556,681 times
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Recovery from grief: 3 steps forward, 2 back, 1 forward, 3 more forward, 4 back...etc.

Sorry OP, for your loss...it's hard around holidays, I know. There seem to be a lot of people on CD who have lost a spouse and can completely understand your situation and feelings.
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Old 11-22-2017, 06:22 PM
 
Location: 76102
3,207 posts, read 1,488,209 times
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Good for you! Glad you have a friend to spend time with. Even though I'm married, I miss someone to just cuddle with and snuggle. Doesn't happen in my situation.

Do as you wife said - enjoy your life. xoxox
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Old 11-22-2017, 07:18 PM
 
Location: Fairfield, CT
5,533 posts, read 8,190,931 times
Reputation: 5775
May she rest in peace.
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Old 11-22-2017, 08:56 PM
 
24 posts, read 7,146 times
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Your wife is right, have a life after. I'm sorry about your sadness but it is a reminder of how wonderful your life together was. I'm like you in that I've been with someone since age 17 and if something happened I would do as you are doing.
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