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When we ask people to offer empathy to those who are grieving, we tend to assume that everyone is capable of it. According to this article and study, some may genetically be less able.
Extrapolating, this implies that some people genetically feel grief more strongly than others, irrespective of cultural influences. Stone faced uncle Walt might really have been unable to emote after his wife's death, while little Willy might have been torn-up at the death of his hamster. Again, this points out that judgment is not helpful, and each person experiences grief differently.
When we ask people to offer empathy to those who are grieving, we tend to assume that everyone is capable of it. According to this article and study, some may genetically be less able.
Extrapolating, this implies that some people genetically feel grief more strongly than others, irrespective of cultural influences. Stone faced uncle Walt might really have been unable to emote after his wife's death, while little Willy might have been torn-up at the death of his hamster. Again, this points out that judgment is not helpful, and each person experiences grief differently.
And then throw sociopaths and narcissists into it and most of them could care less. They have no true feelings of any kind, good or bad. Just evil conniving minds.
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This is a good article, and yes, it's intuitive. Some people actually don't notice that others are in pain, and if they notice, they're turned off by it and are likely to feel uncomfortable around anyone with emotions.
I've always been amused at Amway salesman (don't know if that company is around anymore) or people who do the "hard sell" and seemingly don't notice that everyone in the room is resistant. Others are made extremely uncomfortable delivering a hard sell pitch and are very aware of the emotional resistance in the room.
And then throw sociopaths and narcissists into it and most of them could care less. They have no true feelings of any kind, good or bad. Just evil conniving minds.
Sociopath is the definition for some one with minimal empathy who acts out. It is important to distinguish that people without empathy are NOT by definition "evil," as there are compensating mechanisms that fill the void, such as adherence to strict religious or philosophical rules, feedback requests, etc. Many leaders are technical sociopaths, because they have a wider range of options in decision-making. That does not preclude their having a moral code that allows them to live productively in society. You might be surprised at the numbers of sociopaths in high positions, including in churches.
This is a good article, and yes, it's intuitive. Some people actually don't notice that others are in pain, and if they notice, they're turned off by it and are likely to feel uncomfortable around anyone with emotions.
I've always been amused at Amway salesman (don't know if that company is around anymore) or people who do the "hard sell" and seemingly don't notice that everyone in the room is resistant. Others are made extremely uncomfortable delivering a hard sell pitch and are very aware of the emotional resistance in the room.
Like, how could anyone be a telemarketer, when absolutely no one wants phone calls from folks trying to sell stuff?
Interesting read and I agree with it. My husband isn't very empathetic, he is sad to an extent when someone close to us dies, but he doesn't get choked up, or anything, he's more matter of fact about things. This frustrates me and I have even blown up at him calling him a robot, because of his lack of emotion. This was wrong of me and I apologized afterward, I just can't relate.
On the flip side I am a super empathizer. I will cry and beome very emotional over even causual aquaintences dying. I very much put myself in another shoes and grieve for them, or with them. I get choked up easily, and wear my emotions on my sleeve. So you can see how hubby being not empathetic or emotional is a direct opposite to me.
In regards to our two daughters our oldest is just like.my husband, matter of fact, logical, not very emotional especially with death. Our other daughter is like I am and death hits her especially hard, so much so she cried over baby toads dying accidently in her bucket while we were camping.
So I can see how genetics can come into play, as well as how a child is raised.
I think death and very tragic things scare us. Some cry and do nothing, others buck up and help.
Yet others really don't know what to do, so they do nothing.
Im one of those buck up and help people. I see a crisis and I run to help. Others just stand there.
I never understood their lack of wanting to help someone in need but it's very common.
Now, because good Samaritans are getting sued if they help, its made people think 3 times before they do. That is a real shame.
When my car was hit by a van and I ended up piled in the passenger side floorboard...not a single person came to the car till the police arrived. Even the motor was still running.
I was at a fair one time and a young girl was suddenly having an epileptic fit. Lots of people stood around her, including her friend that came with her!, and did nothing. I happened to notice it and ran up to help. When the guy who was trying to help was doing his thing, I ran for the police and medics.
Like driving by a car accident. Everybody has to look....but rarely do they stop to help.
I think death and very tragic things scare us. Some cry and do nothing, others buck up and help.
Yet others really don't know what to do, so they do nothing.
Im one of those buck up and help people. I see a crisis and I run to help. Others just stand there.
I never understood their lack of wanting to help someone in need but it's very common.
Now, because good Samaritans are getting sued if they help, its made people think 3 times before they do. That is a real shame.
When my car was hit by a van and I ended up piled in the passenger side floorboard...not a single person came to the car till the police arrived. Even the motor was still running.
I was at a fair one time and a young girl was suddenly having an epileptic fit. Lots of people stood around her, including her friend that came with her!, and did nothing. I happened to notice it and ran up to help. When the guy who was trying to help was doing his thing, I ran for the police and medics.
Like driving by a car accident. Everybody has to look....but rarely do they stop to help.
While your caring and take charge attitude is noble and unusual, I urge caution.
I know a retired police officer who has seen many accident scenes and with an ER nurse wrote protocol for force's first responding officers. Unless there is immediate threat of fire or you can't staunch a bleed-out without moving them, it is best to leave the person exactly as they are. Moving them can (as in the case of Christopher Reeve) sever nerves or otherwise create or exacerbate internal injury. It might seem cruel, but waiting for TRAINED EMTs saves lives. They know how to evaluate and take proper precautions.
Epilepsy and seizures is more scary for bystanders than anyone. I've handled many of them, including one fellow that was having chain seizures every three minutes and an employee that had a couple on the job. Other than waiting until drugs can be administered, one just waits and offers support and keeps gawkers away.
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