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Enyo, don't discount the military. Some are moving on, but some will end their enlistment and stay. Especially if 38-40 isn't too old for you.
Also, networking is valuable in dating, just as it is in many other areas of life. There are many people who work on the bases who are not actually military. There are many civilian employees who will stay in Hawaii. To meet them, you need to get onto the base. Thus the Squid ticket of admission.
Activity clubs and educational classes of the sort that necessitate people speaking to each other are usually the best bet.
Yes, you're right. I have met men who say they plan to stay after they get out, but I'm scared they will change their minds and move on. I'd hate to get attached to someone who breaks their promise in that way. But your entire post has merit.
Yes, you're right. I have met men who say they plan to stay after they get out, but I'm scared they will change their minds and move on. I'd hate to get attached to someone who breaks their promise in that way. But your entire post has merit.
The problem Enyo is nothing is guaranteed. You could meet that perfect someone who would never go back on his word, treats you like a queen and the next day is gone. Ive had it happen (car accident) except its a her. Im reminded of that saying "is it better to love and lost, then never to be loved". Personaly the first is better. As difficult as it is, and its something that doesn't come easy. Is we have to let go of the ideal that we have any real control over people, places and things and just experience life as it comes. Now im not saying be stupid, like if a guy has a bad temper or etc, get away! but do whats in front of you and leave the results to god, creator, great spirit etc.
What is the dating scene like in Hawaii compared to the Mainland? Are there any cultural or social differences between what men and women look for compared to what they look for in major US cities like LA, NYC, Seattle, etc?
Thanks
Well my ex husband was from Hawaii even though he is white, blonde hair, blue eyes. I'm a mixed black from white and black parents from southern California . The locals are not very much into none locals because they do feel like they have superior attitude and they don't even like tourists. I personally feel like there is very little diversity in Hawaii. By diversity I'm referring to the kind that you find in NYC, L.A, Southern Florida. Plus the locals tend to stick to their own. I won't take it there anymore and not because I'm shallow. I'm well educated, and I have lived in Africa, Europe and Latin America. I would suggest you move to San diego, or Seattle. Hope this helps.
As a local 4th generation Asian boi, I'd say yes there is a road block to dating transplants. A large part of it has to do with culture. Most transplants come here due to the attraction of the pretty beaches, green valleys, "exotic" polys in the usual tourist display of coconut bras and grass skirts. Most do not come for the culture or even know about the nuances in our culture so how do locals know if they are willing to assimilate to change and be sensitive to our culture.
In the mainland a transplant is just a stranger among strangers in a big population. When they come here they are strangers among people who are only 2 degrees from from each other. Transplants have nothing invested to stay in a relationship with a local and on a whim they can just say screw it, I'm gonna bug out back home to my old hometown or bounce again yet to another city. Most locals would never want to leave this place because of their past is too rooted and have invested too much interpersonal relationships with high school friends coworkers, ex-coworkers, and family.
But a the same time there are transplants that do come have no problem fitting in with locals, meet, date, and even marry them. On the opposite end there are also locals who are open to and some even prefer to date transplants.
I am proof of that. I prefer to date non-Asian women and attracted to women who have less in common than me culturally. I feel that being born and lived here for 99% of my life, I am bored of sameness of my life, I am drawn to cultures and people different from me. I am a pidgen-speaking, plate lunch eating, (used to be) dedicated fisherman local as can be, but I'd say I 'm the anomaly to the norm of local people.
As a local 4th generation Asian boi, I'd say yes there is a road block to dating transplants. A large part of it has to do with culture. Most transplants come here due to the attraction of the pretty beaches, green valleys, "exotic" polys in the usual tourist display of coconut bras and grass skirts. Most do not come for the culture or even know about the nuances in our culture so how do locals know if they are willing to assimilate to change and be sensitive to our culture.
In the mainland a transplant is just a stranger among strangers in a big population. When they come here they are strangers among people who are only 2 degrees from from each other. Transplants have nothing invested to stay in a relationship with a local and on a whim they can just say screw it, I'm gonna bug out back home to my old hometown or bounce again yet to another city. Most locals would never want to leave this place because of their past is too rooted and have invested too much interpersonal relationships with high school friends coworkers, ex-coworkers, and family.
But a the same time there are transplants that do come have no problem fitting in with locals, meet, date, and even marry them. On the opposite end there are also locals who are open to and some even prefer to date transplants.
I am proof of that. I prefer to date non-Asian women and attracted to women who have less in common than me culturally. I feel that being born and lived here for 99% of my life, I am bored of sameness of my life, I am drawn to cultures and people different from me. I am a pidgen-speaking, plate lunch eating, (used to be) dedicated fisherman local as can be, but I'd say I 'm the anomaly to the norm of local people.
As a local 4th generation Asian boi, I'd say yes there is a road block to dating transplants. A large part of it has to do with culture. Most transplants come here due to the attraction of the pretty beaches, green valleys, "exotic" polys in the usual tourist display of coconut bras and grass skirts. Most do not come for the culture or even know about the nuances in our culture so how do locals know if they are willing to assimilate to change and be sensitive to our culture.
In the mainland a transplant is just a stranger among strangers in a big population. When they come here they are strangers among people who are only 2 degrees from from each other. Transplants have nothing invested to stay in a relationship with a local and on a whim they can just say screw it, I'm gonna bug out back home to my old hometown or bounce again yet to another city. Most locals would never want to leave this place because of their past is too rooted and have invested too much interpersonal relationships with high school friends coworkers, ex-coworkers, and family.
But a the same time there are transplants that do come have no problem fitting in with locals, meet, date, and even marry them. On the opposite end there are also locals who are open to and some even prefer to date transplants.
I am proof of that. I prefer to date non-Asian women and attracted to women who have less in common than me culturally. I feel that being born and lived here for 99% of my life, I am bored of sameness of my life, I am drawn to cultures and people different from me. I am a pidgen-speaking, plate lunch eating, (used to be) dedicated fisherman local as can be, but I'd say I 'm the anomaly to the norm of local people.
Another thing is that Maui at least is very segregated. I live and work in Kihei now and I can go days without seeing a single Hawaiian descent person aside from the mailman. Most people are transplants or immigrants. It's very different from living in Pukalani or Wailuku.
The problem with the Maui transplant population is that they tend to be West Coast airheads-- New Age, horoscopes, crystals, etc.
Last edited by winkosmosis; 09-19-2014 at 03:23 PM..
Another thing is that Maui at least is very segregated. I live and work in Kihei now and I can go days without seeing a single Hawaiian descent person aside from the mailman. Most people are transplants or immigrants. It's very different from living in Pukalani or Wailuku.
The problem with the Maui transplant population is that they tend to be West Coast airheads-- New Age, horoscopes, crystals, etc.
I believe that is actually a bad thing. Lack of diversity is boring. When variety gets replaced and whitewashes everything colorfully unique into plain uniformity would be like living in the mainland. I bet when people moved here they wanted to get away from that and experience something new and/or different? How weird. Travel all this way and its like no different from where you would have came from, except hotter, and more expensive. Oh, theres the beach though, but one could have lived in San Diego without the extra burden.
Spread out Mauians!
No Ka Oi, psshhh!
More like No Ka Boring!
Last edited by lost_traveler1; 09-19-2014 at 10:05 PM..
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