Dear Doctor and Staff: Don't call me Dear, Sweetheart, or Honey! (men, nurse)
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I went to a new doctor today and three people there, including the doctor addressed me in the very patronizing and condescending way of either Dearie, Sweetheart (doctor used that word) or Honey. It's not like I'm a fragile little granny. I'm 5'10" and weigh more than I should.
It was a podiatrist office and they probably see mostly "senior citizens" and I heard them address others that way- both male and female.
My husband just told me he gets called those names himself which surprised me as I thought it was mostly to women. He says he thinks people who call seniors that think they are being friendly and personal but every person I've ever talked to about this say they detest it as well.
I remember my own mother being called those names in retail establishes and she wasn't even a senior citizen. maybe I get my disdain from her. In any event it is so disrespectful and I think the doctor heard me say "Oh God don't call me that!" as he was leaving the exam room. I don't know but he sure didn't address me like that during the rest of the visit.
I can tell if someone is trying to offend or hurt me. If they said that in a hurtful way it would bug me. If they actually used a pejorative noun but in a non offense way that probably wouldn't but me either.
Life is too short to get bothered by every day comments which are truly sincere.
I'm more bugged by getting to a doctor's office on time only to have to sit there for 45 minutes because he over books.
Also, having to fill out six forms with the same information on them - Can't they enter it once into their system and that information is used for the other forms?
I hate being asked my SSN - I don't give it to them.
I hate when they ask you BOTH your age and DOB. For my age I know put down "Today's date - my DOB"
I still have fun with them too. For marital status, I don't put down married, I write in "Swinger".
I've been called those things by men and women all my life........ only occasionally in a demeaning way.
I've always thought it was sweet.
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You know it's funny, some professionals can call me "Honey" or "Sweetie" or whatever, and it feels so nice and loving, and coming from other people, it's really irritating to me. I'm not sure why!
One of the women I work with calls every hon or sweetie, she's only in her twenties and she does it to other people her own age too. We are in retail and see tons of regulars week after week and it can be difficult to try to remember everyone's names so that could very well be a part of it too.
I don't think it's meant to be disrespectful, just friendly, just like a lot of fast food places now call customers up to the counter by their first names when it's obvious they don't know you from jack. Or in places of business where the employees are told to call managers by first names in order to make it seem like a friendlier workplace. It IS disconcerting at times.
A long as I don't get called 'hey you', or get whistled for like I'm a dog (had a customer do that once) anything else that's not derogatory is ok.
Call me honey or things like that and I'll follow you anywhere.
As a neglected kid...it fills up a little need for kindness and love.
Yet, with so much Midwestern sweetness I called someone honey on a Forum ...and
what I got back was the meanest, rudest post back....I was devastated.
I had no idea people could be so weird about something so innocent.
There are so many serious problems to worry about that I don't let little things like that get to me. I actually hate it when someone calls me Mr. XXXXXXXXX, I would much prefer them to call me Don.
That is odd, I have never had anyone in the medical field address me as sweetie or honey or dearie. How odd. I don't think I would like it. Maybe it's a regional thing, I'm in MN and it doesn't happen here that I know of.
The thing I think is totally stupid and useless is the greeting the nurse gives me as we walk to the exam room, "Hi, how are you today?" all cheery and happy and expecting a rote reply of "Fine". What do they think? I'm here because I am SICK and feel awful. Most people just say, fine and how are you. But I think it's so stupid. They should just say hi, my name is Mary and I will be taking your history today.
I know they are just being polite but it's nonsense.
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