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I had a high school friend, we were very close. I have been sober for 13 years, was a coke head (any speedy type drug). I am sober, and this friend of mine from high school had her issues with drugs too. We got in touch and I thought we would establish a friendship again on a good foundation. Well she came over and stole a bottle of pain pills (husband had from an old injury) they have been there for a long time. Now I knew she had a love for pain pills but thought she was kind of past that. Well she keeps calling me and this is first off odd, I mean she never really had that much time for me in the past it was always me chasing her down. Now finally today, she called again and I realized why are you here? She is an addict, I told her please call me when you get sober im on to you and next come I need money or some type of addict behavior. Now here is the question why do I feel so guilty, bad and like Im preaching Im perfect your not. I am angry and I feel she subjects my sobriety. SHe is causing me to question what I worked so hard for. Did I do the right thing????
Yes! You have to look out for you! You are 100% correct about how an addict thinks and obviously this person has more on her mind then just keeping in touch with you as a friend! Besides she is a threat to your sobriety, period!! Let it go. If and when she gets sober perhaps you can try again someday. But for right now don't take a chance!!!
Please try to remember that "guilt" is a totally useless emotion. It will not help you or anyone else!! Good luck with your continued sobriety!
absolutely...I had to get rid of a "toxic" friend a few years back. We were very close, she was a functioning alcoholic and did a lot of damage. We have since reunited it's a slow rebuild and it probably will never be the same...but I had to do what was best for me at the time.
thanks, she called again and I was a little nicer and explained that its NOT her , its me. She brings up too many bad memories of my former self, she has not changed, and basically we are two different now. Its funny if she called me 15 years ago I would have gone to the ocean and back but now, I just cant go back there. Its too much not who I am not, or where I want to go. My problem is I feel like I am preaching! Like I am telling people how to run their lives, I see there lifes as completely messed up and I get angry that they dont see it!!! I told her some examples on how different we are, she has three grown kids. She lets her son smoke and deal weed. She said to me, its easier said than done. I said if this was my kid why would you enable him to go down the path that made our lives for miserable. If this was MY kid, he would have been in rehab the first wind of got of the pot or thrown out! I would not enable it. This shows how different our lives are and have become. I wish things were different and IM SAD!
thank you all, its so nice to deal with normal people, I am so tired of dealing with addicts and dysfunctional people!!! Is there anyone normal. I thought in my mind she and I would have a good start, go shopping, hike, but its not going to ever be like this. She is too fuc#k up.
It also bothers me why she is calling so much knowing that I am normal and not trying to go back to that place.
Yes! You have to look out for you! You are 100% correct about how an addict thinks and obviously this person has more on her mind then just keeping in touch with you as a friend! Besides she is a threat to your sobriety, period!! Let it go. If and when she gets sober perhaps you can try again someday. But for right now don't take a chance!!!
Please try to remember that "guilt" is a totally useless emotion. It will not help you or anyone else!! Good luck with your continued sobriety!
thank you this made me feel better.
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