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Hey all,
We moved to a new town 6 months ago. We have 2 toddlers and I'm a SAHM. I'm finding that its taking a long time to make new friends, hard driving to places because I dont know where everything is, finding new drs, find a church, etc... We're definitely starting over. I like our house but where we live doesn't feel like "home", yet. I feel out of place. How long did it take you to feel comfortable in your new area? Any advice on what we can do? Thanks in advance.
It is hard to say. It was gradual and in some ways, we are not fully comfortable now. In general though this has become our home. We no longer say we are from California. I am not sure there is a date when anything changed. It was just bit by bit.
We'd visited my parents in this town over the years, but I couldn't even find their house on my own, so it wasn't like we were familiar with anything. I think that driving around and taking the long way just to see what was there helped. Getting a new GPS helped us to explore more. Taking walks and bike rides in the neighborhood and in lots of different parks kind of made them ours, if you know what I mean. Becoming regular customers at locally owned restaurants made us feel welcome. Finding a church right away helped a lot and since my children are school aged, there were lots of activities at church and scouts. Painting all our rooms colors that we picked out (not beige) made it ours. Doing yard work made it ours. I guess we had to touch or be touched by everything to really feel that it was ours.
We'd visited my parents in this town over the years, but I couldn't even find their house on my own, so it wasn't like we were familiar with anything. I think that driving around and taking the long way just to see what was there helped. Getting a new GPS helped us to explore more. Taking walks and bike rides in the neighborhood and in lots of different parks kind of made them ours, if you know what I mean. Becoming regular customers at locally owned restaurants made us feel welcome. Finding a church right away helped a lot and since my children are school aged, there were lots of activities at church and scouts. Painting all our rooms colors that we picked out (not beige) made it ours. Doing yard work made it ours. I guess we had to touch or be touched by everything to really feel that it was ours.
All of these are great ideas! Painting my house...room by room....touching every part of it, gave me a connection.
Get to know the neighbors, first. That helps, too.
My toughest, was finding a grocery store that I was comfortable shopping in. I still struggle a bit with that. I think it's funny that that was my biggest hurdle, but it was.
We moved many times. I always said it takes about 6 months to figure out where everything is. It takes about a year to feel at home and start to make friends.
I grew up in the city next to the one I live in. Still, it can take some time to feel a part of the area. Our home is on a street that most of the people have lived on for decades. They all seem to know each other and hang out together. We have made some friends but still I don't feel like we have been accepted by everyone. It could be because the last owner rented out the home we live in and many people came and went. The owner before them only stayed about 5 years. The first owner was there for 38 years. We plan on staying for the next 50 or more. LOL Maybe by then we will be part of the neighborhood in group.
Does my house feel like home - yes, I get used to houses/apartments pretty quickly. We moved 2.5 years ago into a rental house, and just about a year ago into a house we bought. Both times it took me about 4-5 months to get used to it. The way I know I "feel at home in my house" is when I go away for several days, and subconsciously think of arriving at the right house when coming back. No kidding - for several months after we moved to our house I still imagined entering a hall-way of our rental when thinking about my return home. Another sign is when I wake up and know right away which direction is the bathroom
As for feeling at home in a new town that is a different question. I've been here for 2.5 years and sometimes still don't feel like home. Although I always know where I'm going, have figured out doctors and dentists (the toughest part of the move) and met quite a few people here.
Not sure how much you interact with other parents, but in my case I mostly connect with other people through my kids' schools and activities. Since you have toddlers you may not have as much interaction, and also life is probably crazy as it is for you with little ones.
We moved into our house in November 2012. A complete interior repaint, new flooring in some rooms, and a complete remodel of the pool and deck area have made it feel like it's ours.
I got doctor and dentist recommendations from co-workers, but my worst problem was finding a hairdresser! I finally found her by just walking into her shop which was next to the cleaners I was going to.
The best thing I found (for me) was to join a church and get involved in their activities. I'm not uber-religious, but I met a lot of nice people and it gave me something to look foward to every week.
Just driving around and getting familiar with various neighborhoods helped. Right after we moved, the local newspaper had a feature on "100 Restaurants You Should Not Miss" and we tried a lot of them out.
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