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So we see a lot of advice given by the authorities of job searching. Network for your next job! Reach out to your past co-workers and ask them if they know who the hiring person for X company or whether they can help you find a job within their organization.
It's good advice. Referrals are always good especially if the person referring can vouch for your abilities.
But here's the problem I've run into. Very few have lifted a finger to help me after I ask. These are people that I know and have always been respectful to and have helped myself.
Maybe it's that many have been conditioned to somehow see one as a threat or that many are just selfish and relish the fact that they now are "important" and you are not? After all, you're unemployed and so that must be something wrong with you. Or people are just lazy, have short memories and just don't care. There's nothing in it for them.
It's disappointing to see but that's ok. I'm not surprised. Human nature will be human nature. I'll remember if/when the time comes.
I know, I know...maybe it's me. I'm rotten and a terrible worker. There's something wrong with me. After all, why else would this be happening? I can hear it now
What do you expect them to do that they are not doing?
Return a call/email when I ask for help. Saying they will help and then not answering the phone when I try to follow up. Just basic curtesy like I show my business friends/colleagues when I help them. Saying "no, I can't help" is fine too but at least tell me.
All I can say is that TRUE friends should help friends.
But how many of us have TRUE business or work friends -- vs -- professional acquaintances....who say they they'll help -- but really don't have an emotional attachment to you and, therefore, aren't really vested in your success -- like someone who really cared about you would.
Personally, I help even acquaintances, and I also go out of my way to help people. Why not?
It's how I was raised. But most people these days -- sad to say -- aren't raised to be ultra thoughtful when it comes to others.
To be fair, I help most often when it's NOT a direct reference, vouching for a person. But if I hear of something in a field I know someone is hoping to get into....what does it hurt me to pass that info along? But you have to care about people, and be mindful of people to have it occur to you to do that. And, as I said, I don't think most people are that thoughtful.
(For example, when I was job hunting for me...I was all over the Internet searching, and came across all kinds of jobs not in my field....but I knew coworkers who wanted to find something else. So IF I came across something they'd mentioned they were interested in....why not say, "Hey, I saw that XYZ has a position posted for a given position." I do that all the time.)
I also don't BS just to BS....if I'm not willing to help you, or open to it....I don't offer, volunteer, or say I'll do it, just to make chit-chat.
I don't want to say that people in business are "phony" when it comes to networking. Let's just say, I think people say things about helping others, so THEY can perhaps get help in return.....and that is really what they're after.
In my most recent job search, I reached out to some colleagues to get interviews. I got some interviews as a result of my network, but my job offer did not come from a networking sourced job interview.
In the job before that one, I got the job from how well I sold myself during the interview process. I did not have an internal link in there.
So we see a lot of advice given by the authorities of job searching. Network for your next job! Reach out to your past co-workers and ask them if they know who the hiring person for X company or whether they can help you find a job within their organization.
It's good advice. Referrals are always good especially if the person referring can vouch for your abilities.
But here's the problem I've run into. Very few have lifted a finger to help me after I ask. These are people that I know and have always been respectful to and have helped myself.
Maybe it's that many have been conditioned to somehow see one as a threat or that many are just selfish and relish the fact that they now are "important" and you are not? After all, you're unemployed and so that must be something wrong with you. Or people are just lazy, have short memories and just don't care. There's nothing in it for them.
It's disappointing to see but that's ok. I'm not surprised. Human nature will be human nature. I'll remember if/when the time comes.
I know, I know...maybe it's me. I'm rotten and a terrible worker. There's something wrong with me. After all, why else would this be happening? I can hear it now
That's a good point about some of the facile advice people toss around, regarding a variety of situations. Life is rarely so simple. The kind of simplistic advice people hand out tends to require the cooperation of other people, whether it's putting a profile up on a dating site, or "networking" to find a job, or any number of other types of situations.
Probably some of your contacts don't know of any openings (in which case, all they have to do is say that), or are unmotivated to make an effort to contact someone on your behalf. Inertia plays a role, I think.
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