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Ok maybe entitled wasn't used properly. What I meant was that since she's elderly, she may feel she's "entitled" or has the right to have the tv loud/do what she wants. I don't know.
As far as the conversation goes I have already stated that I will not let any anger/frustration come across. Don't worry.
I understand exactly what you mean by using the term 'entitled'. I was in a similar case to yours a few years ago (which prompted us to move into a house) and because the tenants had been in the complex for so long, they felt entitled to make noise ALL night! I even tried speaking to them nicely until they made a comment about my newborn son and the end result wasnt too nice. The cops were called twice, they would call the board and say we were making noise (which was not true as we literally worked around the clock), they even said i walked around the home with heels on at 5am (the time i used to get up for work), when i only ever wore slippers because im a germaphobe! Some people are just aholes so i could absolutely understand why you are concerned. Good luck!
Had to comment on this. I have read some of your post on this forum and can agree with you on many things. However, it seems you have the massive chip on your shoulder when it comes to the NY area. It clouds your judgment and forces you to see things through crap-color glasses.
First off, most people are considerate. That's the case on Long Island, and that's the case everywhere else I have traveled.
We may have more annoying people here, but we also have more good people here... it's simply because we have more total people here. The ratio of good to bad isn't all that different.
I live in a typical Long Island neighborhood. I have one idiot neighbor who does stupid things with fireworks a few times during the year. There are others who I no desire to socialize with, but I never see them and they don't "bother" me in the least. That's one idiot in a development of 50+ homes.
I also spend quote a bit of time in the "country." I once had a neighbor drive the 1/2 mile to my place to "complain" about my target practice (30 minutes, twice a year). She was concerned because she lets her dogs run loose and has no control over them. I mentioned that her real worry should be my dogs, who can be territorial with other animals. That's one idiot in an area of about three homes.
Point is, there are idiots everywhere. By your own admission, you have to put up with "Harleys" in your utopian paradise.
That's the price of civilization... you have to coexist with other people.
I get the feeling that if you were the character in that Tom Hanks movie, you would have been annoyed by the volleyball.
[Ignoring the part about the Tom Hanks movie, as I haven't a clue about it]
Well, yes and know.
I've always been considerate of my neighbors- I was raised that way- and I do expect that others would have the same consideration for me. And yes, there are inconsiderate people everywhere- it seems as though such has become the American way.....
But I'll tell you, it was my hobby to take long walks (5-6 or more miles) with my dog at night when I lived on the Island- and consequently, passing hundreds of different houses in different neighborhoods doing so, I got a good overview of what went on at people's houses when they were home at night- and I saw many situations where I'd say to myself "I'd hate to have to be those people's neighbor!". People blasting TVs at ridiculous levels; people revving loud engines repeatedly in their driveways; undiscplined kids running around screaming and shrieking; dogs left outside to bark forever; teens playing basketball at 11PM ten feet from their neighbor's bedroom window; people having loud pool parties with loud music; people boinking by an open window 5 feet from the street ("Oh, Harold! [bang!bang!bang! Uhh-UHhhh--OOOoooohhh!!!!]); loud motorcycles...the list goes on and on.
My point is, while someone who has quiet neighbors may assume that most neighbors are like that, the fact is, that there are LOTS of inconsiderate neighbors.
Even here in Bumpkinsville, where people generally live far enough apart so that they can do what they want without affecting their neighbors, there are still people who can make life miserable- like people riding unmuffled dirtbikes/ATVs, even a mile away for hours at a time, which can be heard loudly for quite some distance. Or people shooting for hours at a time. (They must be rich- ammo isn't cheap!).
Heck, I remember when I was younger and lived in CA. for a year. I bought a dirtbike and used to ride it in the wilderness (There were thousands of acres of BLM land on the outskirts of town), I used to actually WALK the bike to the BLM land, because it was loud, and I didn't want to disturb all of my neighbors by riding it the few blocks from my house to the wilderness.
In an apartment though, it is much worse- as living in such close proximity, even the littlest things one does can affect one's neighbors.
Then, some people take consideration too far- like my aforementioned mother, who wouldn't flush the terlit in the early morning for fear of it disturbing her neighbors..... (Neighbors who in turn had no consideration for her)
And then, a lot of people don't notice noisy neighbors, because they make a lot of noise themselves, or because they have music or a TV going all the time. For someone like myself who enjoys being quiet, the noise that others make really can impact the quality of our lives.
Bite the bullet and speak to her. Get it over with because the longer you wait the more anxiety you will have about it.once you speak to her and resolve the issue (hopefully) I think you will fell better about it.
I say you should just try to calm down a bit first. Then have nice chat with this person. Being she is older like you say she probably does have a severe hearing loss. Be kind as that is a hard disability to live with. Ask her nicely if she can please realize that even though she can not hear things as well as you or others they are very LOUD & disruptive to yours & others lives. If it is her TV that is the culprit late at night ask her to please utilize her Closed Captioning for TV viewing to supplement not being able to hear everything.
I agree with your words. It's a problem that is actually FIXABLE (i.e. headphones, turn tv down, bring couch closer to tv if she's hard of hearing) as opposed to these co-op/apartment horror stories about kids running around on top of people.
But I wrote 'clueless' or 'doesn't care' bc let's be realistic, hard of hearing or not, unless she is not 'with it', she should know the thing is too loud and there is a tenant below her that is trying to live not to mention likely trying to get sleep which I am after 10pm.
Have you considered earplugs? I started wearing them because of my late husband's snoring and it helped a lot. I also think you should talk to your neighbor as she probably is hard of hearing and doesn't realize how loud the TV is.
A loss of hearing is the issue here. You mention that you live in a co-op. Go to the co-op board and tell them that your upstairs neighbor is making your life miserable.
The board should require her to have carpeting. If not, sell. You should not have to live like this.
Have you considered earplugs? I started wearing them because of my late husband's snoring and it helped a lot. I also think you should talk to your neighbor as she probably is hard of hearing and doesn't realize how loud the TV is.
lol, earplugs??? Is this a prison or my home that I paid almost $200,000 for?
Also, @Willow1990, let's just be honest, putting carpet down wouldn't do a thing for a blasting television. It comes through the walls and what not, too.
In an update to all of this however, I can confirm that the awful scenario from my original post of her blasting the TV past 10pm making me unable to sleep was just those few nights early on. In my head I think maybe she just fell asleep with the TV on or didn't realize there was a new tenant until two weeks into the fact. I don't know. That being said, if it happens even one more time, no matter what, I will be speaking with her.
However, there IS still the issue of the TV blasting in general, coming through my walls/ceiling almost every night like clockwork from 7-10pm, and hearing bass that really makes it difficult to watch my own TV. I have decided to wait until I finally run into her to try and have a casual conversation about noise and the "paper thin walls" and maybe in a perfect world there can even be a scenario where she can come into my place quickly and hear it for herself (even though she's deaf and won't!)
lol, earplugs??? Is this a prison or my home that I paid almost $200,000 for?
Also, @Willow1990, let's just be honest, putting carpet down wouldn't do a thing for a blasting television. It comes through the walls and what not, too.
In an update to all of this however, I can confirm that the awful scenario from my original post of her blasting the TV past 10pm making me unable to sleep was just those few nights early on. In my head I think maybe she just fell asleep with the TV on or didn't realize there was a new tenant until two weeks into the fact. I don't know. That being said, if it happens even one more time, no matter what, I will be speaking with her.
However, there IS still the issue of the TV blasting in general, coming through my walls/ceiling almost every night like clockwork from 7-10pm, and hearing bass that really makes it difficult to watch my own TV. I have decided to wait until I finally run into her to try and have a casual conversation about noise and the "paper thin walls" and maybe in a perfect world there can even be a scenario where she can come into my place quickly and hear it for herself (even though she's deaf and won't!)
Stay tuned...
You paid almost $200,000 so what are you waiting for. Go knock on her door.
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"The man who sleeps on the floor, can never fall out of bed." -Martin Lawrence
You paid almost $200,000 so what are you waiting for. Go knock on her door.
I agree it's like having a toothache and then waiting until the pain is unbearable before going to a dentist.
Why wait until another incident. Nip it in the bud now. If it were my husband he would have knocked on her door the first time it happened.
What an entitled attitude that someone who doesn't even know you is supposed to cater to your preferences.
Try being polite. Introduce yourself to your new neighbor and then politely let her know that tv is too loud, esp. at night. Like she's supposed to magically know you go to bed at 10 pm? That's a pretty early bedtime after all.
Considering too that she has probably been in this complex wayyy longer than he has! He should be catering to HER!
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