Harassment from downstairs neighbor (hardwood floor, apartment, HOA)

[arose15]

I am having ongoing problems with my downstairs neighbor. Me and two other women (early 20s) moved into a condo on the second floor - there are three floors total. It is my aunts condo so I was very familiar with the place prior to moving in. Within the first two weeks of living there (building out table / couch) and walking around, we felt a lot of pounding coming from downstairs. We were unsure what it was until we heard "shut the f*** up and take your f****ing shoes off." Mind you - this was at 6pm.

I immediately let my aunt know of the situation. She advised taking shoes off when we walk in the home as she always did so our downstairs neighbor was not used to the noise. She also lived in the condo alone so it made sense that 3 girls would make more noise. We complied and purchased an additional area rug to soften the noise (we have hardwood floor which was approved by the HOA) and take our shoes off immediately when walking in the door.

The problem continued and I recorded us walking bare foot and his pounding and screaming obscenities at us. Once in the middle of the day on Sunday my roommate and I were cleaning so we were using the vacuum and he waited for us to walk outside when he opened his door and followed us telling us that we are "Disrespectful girls who don't give a sh** about being polite."

Anytime we have a friend over, we ask them to take their shoes off and the problem is not stopping. My aunt has reached out, we've involved the HOA, and no one can stop this problem. Is this something that should involve the police? He isn't threatening us but he is trying to make us scared and using his aggressiveness to do so.

To add - my aunt had monthly dinner parties with couples when she lived there. She never required them take their shoes off and women wore heels. I have also been to the condo numerous times for family functions and have worns heels along with the rest of my family.

It is clear that he thinks he can push us around because we are young women and he is trying to make us seem like disrespectful party girls. We have great relationships with our surrounding neighbors and have never had a noise complaint.

And we deal with a great amount of noise from our upstairs neighbors as well. They also have hardwood floor and they have a dog and a small child so we understand that living under someone comes with noise.

Any advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated! Thanks all!

[ryanms3030]

Tell your neighbor to move into a house and if he can't afford to then shut the F up. Nobody living in a condo/apartment should be making excessive noise between 10pm/8am and you should be respectful not to have a raging party or anything like that but expecting people to tip toe around their home all day is unreasonable. I would try to tell the neighbor that politely and if he keeps it up then talk to the HOA

[arose15]

Thanks for the response! We did go speak to him in the beginning because we hoped that him seeing that we care enough to politely talk to him and explain that we would never intentionally be disrespectful and that we are just LIVING there.

He then slammed the door in our faces and told us to never disrupt him in his home again. He's dreamy

[kishac]

Since you've reached out to the HOA and tried to engage in some dialogue with this neighbor to no avail, I would consider the police...not to punish the neighbor but to referee a resolution with some clear boundaries. The police is the last resort but it sounds like this neighbor is hostile and you don't want to put yourself in a compromising situation. Of course, I would call the police only in the event that he acts hostile and harasses you again.

[Axxlrod]

Call the police. He is harassing you. Tell the police you are fearful of him, and do not feel safe in your home, or walking to/from your home due to his yelling/cussing at you.

Hopefully a visit from uniformed police will affect him.

[DKM]

I have no advice but I thank you for reminding me why I worked so hard to get into a SFH.

[MItoBH]

My mom had a similar situation with the neighbor who lived beneath her, but this was an apartment. The mgr got involved and told the person downstairs that threatening behaviors will not be tolerated and that my mom has been advised to be mindful of the noise she makes. My mom eventually moved, but in your case, if the HOA cannot calm the irrational guy down, then the police will have to get involved. Maybe you need to start recording his behavior to share with the police as 'receipts', and make a list of the dates and times he harasses you. This will demonstrate a history of aggression and threats.

Some people think that just because they lived somewhere longer than someone else, that they can dictate the rules. He needs to buy a damn house, or move to a top floor condo (but those are more expensive). Some neighbors are just a-holes. Good luck.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Axxlrod

Call the police. He is harassing you. Tell the police you are fearful of him, and do not feel safe in your home, or walking to/from your home due to his yelling/cussing at you.

Hopefully a visit from uniformed police will affect him.

This actually sounds like your only recourse at this point, OP. And considering his behavior toward you, you'd be justified. Police do get involved in neighbor disputes, as they can sometimes escalate unexpectedly, and get out of hand. (One of my neighbors across the street years ago actually burned down his neighbor's house, after feuding over an easement for a year!) "We're getting scared of this guy" is enough to at least get their attention.

It may sound like overkill to you, but at least by talking to police, a paper trail of the harassment would get started. Be sure to let them know you've tried everything; talking to the condo owner, as well as the HOA, and of course, with the neighbor directly. And yes, police will probably advise you to keep a log of incidents (date, time), so you may as well begin now, including past incidents.

[arose15]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

This actually sounds like your only recourse at this point, OP. And considering his behavior toward you, you'd be justified. Police do get involved in neighbor disputes, as they can sometimes escalate unexpectedly, and get out of hand. (One of my neighbors across the street years ago actually burned down his neighbor's house, after feuding over an easement for a year!) "We're getting scared of this guy" is enough to at least get their attention.

It may sound like overkill to you, but at least by talking to police, a paper trail of the harassment would get started. Be sure to let them know you've tried everything; talking to the condo owner, as well as the HOA, and of course, with the neighbor directly. And yes, police will probably advise you to keep a log of incidents (date, time), so you may as well begin now, including past incidents.

Thank you so much for the advice. It is crazy to hear wild neighbor stories!! I am happy to hear that contacting the police the next time he scares us is not overkill. We always consider it but then when the time comes we feel it's dramatic to get the police involved. But at this point, because no one has made him stop, he's getting more aggressive because he's getting away with it!!

I really appreciate the advice from everyone.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by arose15

Thank you so much for the advice. It is crazy to hear wild neighbor stories!! I am happy to hear that contacting the police the next time he scares us is not overkill. We always consider it but then when the time comes we feel it's dramatic to get the police involved. But at this point, because no one has made him stop, he's getting more aggressive because he's getting away with it!!

I really appreciate the advice from everyone.

That's good you're noticing this. Make a note of it. Lots of notes. And btw--he's the one being dramatic, not you two.

Just curious; what did the HOA say to you about the problem?