Really depressed about possible relocation to MD (Germantown, Bethesda: day care, how much)

[ELM17]

I grew up in a very small town in MA and my husband grew up in Rockville, MD. We lived in Rockville for 5 years until 5 years ago we moved to a small town in CT. It is perfect, except that we just found out that his job will be ending at the end of June. They have offered him a great position within the same company as long as they can secure funding--he does research so there is always an issue with funding. This funding would guarantee him a job for 7 years but it would be located back in Rockville. It is really a good opportunity for him and exactly what he wants to be doing and unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a lot of options for him right now up here.
I know we have some time for him to look some more and the job isn't even guaranteed yet, but I am devastated. I really didn't like living in MD at ALL! Where we are now we have a nice little home with a big yard and I am able to stay home with our 2 kids (3 and 1) because the cost of living is relatively low. While the new job for him is a step up and a new raise, it would definitely not be enough to cover the increase cost in housing. We are probably looking at having to double our housing costs to find something decent in a decent area--and even then I am not sure. We paid 215,000 for our current house. The one plus is that his parents are still in Rockville but that is it for me. My family is all up here including all of my nieces and nephews who are under 4.
We moved here before we had kids because we wanted to raise our kids in a small town. New England is my home and always will be--I never felt settled or at home in MD. I am afraid I will need to go to work full time and the kids will have to go into day care just to be able to afford a house that is not even close to as nice as the one we have now. Our town has 2,000 people in it--and I cannot even stomache the idea of having to battle the traffic again. It was so bad for my stress levels and I feel as if I couldn't handle living there again.

[LynchburgLover]

My sympathies. I, too, lived there for a while and couldn't wait to get out. But in this economy, make the best of it and be happy he's got a job and parents nearby (think babysitter you can trust!

If he's working in Rockville, check out Poolesville. That's not too far from Rockville with reasonably priced houses and a small-town feel.

Keep your chin up -- those little guys/gals need a happy Mom! And grandparents don't last forever so enjoy them while you can.

[MadManofBethesda]

Originally Posted by ELM17

...I am devastated. I really didn't like living in MD at ALL!

Just curious: Why did you feel it necessary to seek out C-D, take the time to register, and then come to a community populated mostly by people who live in Maryland just to tell them how much you hate Maryland?

What type of responses are you expecting?

Oh, wait a minute..... I think I understand now.....There's a word for people who register on sites for the sole purpose of posting provacative statements and then waiting for the resulting firestorm.

Hmmm.....What is that word again? It's right on the tip of my tongue.

I'm sure it'll come to me sooner or later.

[LynchburgLover]

Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda

Just curious: Why did you feel it necessary to seek out C-D, take the time to register, and then come to a community populated mostly by people who live in Maryland just to tell them how much you hate Maryland?

What type of responses are you expecting?

Oh, wait a minute..... I think I understand now.....There's a word for people who register on sites for the sole purpose of posting provacative statements and then waiting for the resulting firestorm.

Hmmm.....What is that word again? It's right on the tip of my tongue.

I'm sure it'll come to me sooner or later.

Ease up on her. Having been in her position many moons ago, I know how difficult it is to talk to people sometimes. I only wish there had been an anonymous message board for me to vent on!

Maybe she's looking for people to defend Maryland and give her suggestions that will make moving more palatable.

[Tiger Beer]

Is Massachusetts really that much cheaper than Maryland? Half the price seems like a very strong exaggeration.

I'm sure SOMEWHERE in Maryland has a house of a similar nature...I don't think you are required to live in Rockville itself, are you?

[firefightermom]

Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda

Just curious: Why did you feel it necessary to seek out C-D, take the time to register, and then come to a community populated mostly by people who live in Maryland just to tell them how much you hate Maryland?

What type of responses are you expecting?

Oh, wait a minute..... I think I understand now.....There's a word for people who register on sites for the sole purpose of posting provacative statements and then waiting for the resulting firestorm.

Hmmm.....What is that word again? It's right on the tip of my tongue.

I'm sure it'll come to me sooner or later.

I think she's looking for some reassurance that things won't be so bad. Unfortunately, with your response, you're the one who seems to want to pick a fight.

I understand where she's coming from. My husband was raised in Gaithersburg, and when we married we settled in Germantown. It was fine until the kids came; then I realized there was no way I was going to raise my children in such a place. Having my husband's family nearby didn't change the way I felt about the area. This woman is also facing a move that it sounds like they would have never considered if the job problem hadn't happened. It's hard to leave someplace you really love for someplace you've already had bad experiences with. It also sounds like she may have to work to afford the move, and for some people, leaving their children in daycare is not a happy thought. It's a complete upheaval of her life, and her family's.

I agree with the mention of Poolesville...perhaps Ijamsville might be an option as well, or Mt Airy.

Anyway, I wish her luck, and hope she can come to terms with the possibility of moving back to MD.

[tercel95]

I'm sorry you have to move back to MD... MD does have quite a few nice things to offer but none of it is worth the price of admission in my opinion... I lived there for 21 years and I finally am living comfortably after moving to Florida...

I wish you the best...

[jayman1981]

If your husband is the sole provider for the family, then you would really have to go where work is available. Have you all discussed other areas of the country. I can understand your reservation on coming back to Maryland, I've also been here 24 years. I'm quite tired of this area myself and totally understand where your coming from. I would see if your husband can find another job in another area.

If it is specialized type of research and this is the only area willing to higher, well then your going to have to suck it up or at least have a plan to relocate back to New England. As you might know research jobs are hot jobs across the nation. Some cities to throw out there Richmond, Raleigh-Durham (Research Triangle Park), Houston, tx. Huntsville, Al. Those are probably better areas to raise a family and your husband will be able to provide adequately for your family. Just have a conversation about where you all are willing to relocate to and if it is possible to relocate after 7 years is up. I hope everything works out for you. There isn't anything like having a happy family.

[slowlane]

But I thought CT had one of the highest costs of living and taxes in the nation ?

[ELM17]

Originally Posted by MadManofBethesda

Just curious: Why did you feel it necessary to seek out C-D, take the time to register, and then come to a community populated mostly by people who live in Maryland just to tell them how much you hate Maryland?

What type of responses are you expecting?

Oh, wait a minute..... I think I understand now.....There's a word for people who register on sites for the sole purpose of posting provacative statements and then waiting for the resulting firestorm.

Hmmm.....What is that word again? It's right on the tip of my tongue.

I'm sure it'll come to me sooner or later.

I did actually come here for a little reassurance, sorry if I offended you and I certainly wasn't trying to "start trouble" or whatever you think I was trying to do.. I have spent some time looking through this forum and I haven't found many opinions from people who live there that seem very positive or that seem to think the cost of living is worth it.

This could mean a huge upheaval of my life and family and I am having a hard time dealing with the prospect. Maybe I just wanted to hear from people who are there who feel a real sense of community and have been happy with their moves and raising a family there.
We made the decision to leave years ago so that I would be able to stay home with my kids and it's difficult to think that it may not be possible anymore.

CT and MA are expensive as well, especially near Boston and New York, but the central parts of the state (where we are) is reasonable compared to most of Mont. Co. We have a 1600 sq ft house on an acre of land that was 215,000, a similar house in a decent area in MD looks like it will be close to 400,000. We certainly don't expect even close to that amount of land but even without much land at all the prices just seem ridiculously high.
We have looked into Poolesville, and it seems very nice, our concern, of course, is commute time.

Thanks for all the positive words. Maybe I was just looking for fellow folks who needed to relocate and understood what I was going through. If there is a better thread for that I am happy to go to it.