In search of the Gays and Lesbians in Boston area

[pennyone]

Back to my cousin who lives on Savin Hill. I remember last New Year's Eve when we "did" the First Night thing as a big group. He was with his partner of more than 5 years, and we were at Prudential Place grabbing something to eat. At some point, I noticed that the two of them were holding hands, then not, then drifted back to holding hands. It was so nice to see their affection for each other expressed so naturally. I did not noticed any wise cracking idiocy or rolling eyes at any point in time. If fact, I dont think anyone even noticed or cared. So, perhaps some feel uncomfortable expressing their feelings with PDA, but I think if they choose to, nobody would really care or notice. This is what real equality, or something approaching it, feels like....a big yawn.

The question is...do you hold hand to express how you feel about someone, or do you hold hands to make a political statement? I think MA, or at least Boston, has outgrown the latter.

[jayrandom]

Originally Posted by massnative71

Gay or straight, I would not want to live in a place where PDA (ie. holding hands on the sidewalk) is the norm. Some things just belong in the bedroom or at least in a private setting. It's one of the things I like about New England.

Hand holding is considered an out-of-place public display of affection in New England? Sure, some things are best left in the bedroom, but hand holding is something you can almost only do when walking. Hand holding is about as innocent a display of affection as their is and is not something very many people think is best left in the bedroom. Do you call the police when you see a parent take their child by the hand?

Now what I would believe is that city streets are generally too crowded for people to hold hands easily and not play a game of red rover with other pedestrians.

Originally Posted by Brooklinenative

Returned to Brookline after 25 year absence with husband. We have been checking out neighborhoods to hang out in but have not seen more than one or two gay or lesbian couples here and there. We have been to Harvard Square, Jamaica Plain, Coolidge Corner, South End (Tremont St.), Newbury St, and Allston and we feel totally comfortable holding hands as we walk, but why isn't there a more visual presence. We are not expecting the Castro, but it seems odd that there is not a more concentrated "area" that we have overlooked. Perhaps with Mass being the first to legalize gay marriage everyone is just more accepting and we have integrated into all neighborhoods, but with reserved values. If you walk down Commercial Street in Provincetown in the Summer it's quite obvious that you are in a gay "mecca" of sorts.

Is this something you've noticed recently or all year? It's possible that the cold weather has something to do with it. Wait until spring and I suspect you'll see more, if not a lot more, when the weather starts getting better. Of course, with the area's proscription on hand holding you may not see much.

[wheelz]

Originally Posted by lrfox

As for wheelz' comment, Most people like to know that they're not going to be outcasts in a neighborhood. When new immigrant groups come over to the U.S. and settle together (like the Italians in the North End, etc.) they do so not because they don't like white people, but because they want to be near people with similar lifestyles and backgrounds. I don't know why a same sex couple seeking to live near other same sex couples would trigger a response like that. It's a fairly harmless request. One that we see in many, many other forms (i.e. "What neighborhood has a lot of artists?" "Which neighborhood has a lot of hipsters" "Which neighborhood has a lot of families?" "Which neighborhood has a lot of Chinese?" etc.).

I see it as a double standard, that is why I asked the question. Would it be wrong of me to say I am looking for a place to live where there aren't many gay people? I couldn't care less if a person is gay or not gay, however, for the OP to ask the question because they are obviously gay, it is okay to do so? If gay people want to be accepted, why would it matter if they were living near same sex couples? I would think they would prefer to be part of the mainstream population in order to diversify the community.

I feel the coined phrase "Gay and Proud" is a dumb thing to say. I am Hetorosexual, but I don't walk around feeling "proud" of that. It would make zero difference if I were gay, aren't I simply just another human being?

[Cantabridgienne]

Wheelz, you seem to be missing the point. It's not about avoiding heterosexuals, it's about being able to live openly, without fear or prejudice.

[lrfox]

Originally Posted by wheelz

I see it as a double standard, that is why I asked the question. Would it be wrong of me to say I am looking for a place to live where there aren't many gay people? I couldn't care less if a person is gay or not gay, however, for the OP to ask the question because they are obviously gay, it is okay to do so? If gay people want to be accepted, why would it matter if they were living near same sex couples? I would think they would prefer to be part of the mainstream population in order to diversify the community.

I feel the coined phrase "Gay and Proud" is a dumb thing to say. I am Hetorosexual, but I don't walk around feeling "proud" of that. It would make zero difference if I were gay, aren't I simply just another human being?

I think you're reading too much into it. It's a good thing that you don't see a difference between Gay and Straight and hopefully we'll get to a point where your observation is true of everyone. However, Straight people aren't a minority group facing hate, persecution and inequality. Same sex couples are. That's why it's not a double standard. For the most part (I'm thinking of the P-Town incident a few years back in which there was some "straight bashing"), it's heterosexual individuals committing hate crimes, protesting homosexual rights and leading movements to prevent equality for same sex couples. Not the other way around.

So long as there's a very real anti-gay sentiment in the U.S. (while there is next to no "anti-straight" sentiment), it's not a double standard for same sex couples to seek neighborhoods with many other same sex couples. It has nothing to do with not liking straight couples and has everything to do with being around similar people and reducing the risk of facing bigotry from anti-gay people. The fact that homosexuals are still a minority is why it's fine to say "Gay and Proud." You don't need to feel proud to be heterosexual because you're not fighting bigotry, prejudice and a lack of rights fro straight people. Thankfully, most of these things aren't really an issue in Boston. Hopefully, we'll get to a point in the country where you're right and same sex couples are viewed by everyone as being no different from heterosexual couples. We're not there yet. That's why it's not a double standard.

[wheelz]

Thanks for the replies. I have a son who is gay and I am fine with that. He hasn't experienced any real negativity that I am aware of. I see people as people and live by The Golden Rule.

[FitPro1]

Originally Posted by wheelz

Thanks for the replies. I have a son who is gay and I am fine with that. He hasn't experienced any real negativity that I am aware of. I see people as people and live by The Golden Rule.

That's great. Problem is that most people in the world (the vast majority in fact) don’t see it that way.

If your son were to walk half a block in almost any town, village, city, etc. holding hands with another man, he would be subject to ridicule, maybe violence, or at the very least some form of discomfort.

Assuming you are Caucasian, would you feel completely comfortable walking down the street in Harlem?

[Jimrob1]

I always felt that Mass has been looked at, as some sort of bastion of liberalism where everyone thinks the same. I don't think that's the case. So with that said. I'm sure in the neighborhoods people have mentioned you would be fine. Though in much of Mass, especially in its small towns and different regions. I think 2 people of the same sex holding hands, would most definitely be looked at.

[brightdoglover]

Charles Street, that side of the Boston Common. If you can afford it, it'd be great. (As it is for anyone!)