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I've started posts here talking about how I think that the single women around here are snotty, how people around here aren't friendly, etc. In all honesty I'm just venting because I seem to go to places or run into people like this more frequently than nice people. No matter where you go in this world you're going to meet cold, unfriendly people, nice and warm people, people who are fake and just want to keep up with the Jones', people who are real and could care less about brand names, etc. I see other posts here also expressing negativity and it makes me realize I've been one of these people and I don't want to be one. If you're a nice, outgoing, friendly person you will attract these kind of people towards you. Who cares about people who think they're better than you, aren't friendly, and so on? They're pretenders and they aren't for real. I've met a lot of great people all over the place. Everybody is different and you're not going to mesh with everyone, as nice as that would be. It's just life. I say be who you are and you will attract like minded people. Don't blame the area you're in. Their are great people everywhere you go.
I've started posts here talking about how I think that the single women around here are snotty, how people around here aren't friendly, etc. In all honesty I'm just venting because I seem to go to places or run into people like this more frequently than nice people. No matter where you go in this world you're going to meet cold, unfriendly people, nice and warm people, people who are fake and just want to keep up with the Jones', people who are real and could care less about brand names, etc. I see other posts here also expressing negativity and it makes me realize I've been one of these people and I don't want to be one. If you're a nice, outgoing, friendly person you will attract these kind of people towards you. Who cares about people who think they're better than you, aren't friendly, and so on? They're pretenders and they aren't for real. I've met a lot of great people all over the place. Everybody is different and you're not going to mesh with everyone, as nice as that would be. It's just life. I say be who you are and you will attract like minded people. Don't blame the area you're in. Their are great people everywhere you go.
I completely agree with you.
When I moved to MA, I was worried about fitting in and making friends. Some people warned us about the typical stereotypes of the northeast. I made up my mind to discard all of that crap, and come here with an open mind...to see for myself. So glad I did! My family has been so warmly received in our community; I feel so fortunate. And one stereotype that holds true is that people in this state are real (at least the ones I've met); if they like you, then you know it...no pretending here. That's been a revelation to a southern girl like me, and I fully embrace it. You are right, RLCMA: there are good people everywhere. Love the ones you find and ignore the rest.
I've started posts here talking about how I think that the single women around here are snotty, how people around here aren't friendly, etc. In all honesty I'm just venting because I seem to go to places or run into people like this more frequently than nice people. No matter where you go in this world you're going to meet cold, unfriendly people, nice and warm people, people who are fake and just want to keep up with the Jones', people who are real and could care less about brand names, etc. I see other posts here also expressing negativity and it makes me realize I've been one of these people and I don't want to be one. If you're a nice, outgoing, friendly person you will attract these kind of people towards you. Who cares about people who think they're better than you, aren't friendly, and so on? They're pretenders and they aren't for real. I've met a lot of great people all over the place. Everybody is different and you're not going to mesh with everyone, as nice as that would be. It's just life. I say be who you are and you will attract like minded people. Don't blame the area you're in. Their are great people everywhere you go.
I'm glad that your head is in a better place right now. And I do hope that your dating luck improves soon. And I'd like to suggest that I feel that single men are sometimes too narrow in their social agenda. I wish that single men would be more openminded in terms of meeting women. They should be willing to be friends with women of all levels of attractiveness instead of only zeroing in on the best looking women in the room. It's not just you, but all of the single men that I know who can't find a girlfriend. Single women, especially ones in an urban setting, aren't in a rush to settle down. I feel that we like to savor the selection process. We also like to have a lot of male and female friends. Having a steady boyfriend means less time to spend with our other friends, so I think that's why many young women aren't in a rush to jump into a relationship.
I notice the same differences between men and women when they go shopping at a retail store. Men have a good idea of what features they want in whatever it is they are looking for and after some research and price shopping, they will immediately head for the best store and just buy the item. Women on the other hand, are very content to spend the day at the malls with their girlfriends browsing and looking at everything before coming home with bagfuls of items that catch their eye. lol
And I do think that the movie The Tao of Steve was correct in suggesting that when approaching a woman, to clear your mind of all sexual desires, and then to show her your excellence as a person. Go watch the movie.
If you head to the wrong places to meet people you're going to get that impression. If you go to a place that attracts skeezy dudes you're going to have to seperate yourself, which in a club is borderline impossible. Either that or you find women that like skeezy dudes (terrible idea). Go do things and participate in activities that you enjoy, then you'll meet more likeminded people.
Meeting people is very easy. It's all about having common interests and some kind of attraction. It's not all about looks at all. I see beautiful women with unattractive men and vice versa. Chemistry is chemistry and you really can't explain it.
Meeting people is very easy. It's all about having common interests and some kind of attraction. It's not all about looks at all. I see beautiful women with unattractive men and vice versa. Chemistry is chemistry and you really can't explain it.
I don't know about that. The chemistry that I've had with my boyfriends is that we had several interests in common. With my first boyfriend, we were both rock musicians in the same band. We liked the same kinds of music. And we could relate to all the things that went along with being in a band like loading equipment in and out of a club. With my second boyfriend, we were in the same line of work. My current boyfriend and I have an intense passion for the same kind of car. Plus we hate stupid drivers.
I think that what beautiful women want (and it sounds like you only want a beautiful girlfriend) is a guy that makes them laugh and feel good about themselves as a person. Don't go heavy on the compliments to their looks because they get that sort of thing all day long from every guy that wants to meet them. And inside, they know that they won't have their youthful beauty forever, so that's why you have to focus on their inner qualities. I also think that they want to treated like a regular person, and not put on a pedestal as a goddess. So don't be afraid to talk back to them. But go slow so they get to know and trust you as a person. That's why it's better to be low pressure and not be the one to ask for their phone number. And if you don't get their phone number right away, before you part ways, just let her know what your routine is in case she wants to meet up with you again. And if she wants to get together with you, ask her out to lunch or to check out a museum exhibit, but not dinner.
[quote=RLCMA;4791921]I've started posts here talking about how I think that the single women around here are snotty, how people around here aren't friendly, etc. In all honesty I'm just venting because I seem to go to places or run into people like this more frequently than nice people. No matter where you go in this world you're going to meet cold, unfriendly people, nice and warm people, people who are fake and just want to keep up with the Jones', people who are real and could care less about brand names, etc. I see other posts here also expressing negativity and it makes me realize I've been one of these people and I don't want to be one. If you're a nice, outgoing, friendly person you will attract these kind of people towards you. Who cares about people who think they're better than you, aren't friendly, and so on? They're pretenders and they aren't for real. I've met a lot of great people all over the place. Everybody is different and you're not going to mesh with everyone, as nice as that would be. It's just life. I say be who you are and you will attract like minded people. Don't blame the area you're in. Their are great people everywhere you go.[/QUOTE
I agree wtih your statement that "people are people" in some ways. Once you get to know New Englanders they aren't that much different than people in other parts of the country. I do find it more "clanish" with people here than other areas though. I know people I graduated high school with that still hang out in their same group and really don't allow anyone new to enter it. So even now, 10 years later their best friends are the ones from high school. I made most of my best friends in college and shortly after, and those are the people I can trust. They are from different places in New England, and I also have quite a few friends from the south, just from visiting.
I still think many of the girls around the Boston area have a chip on their should and many act snobby. I'm not the only one who thinks this, almost all of my friends would agree and find it easier meeting women in other areas. My girlfriend is from the south and she agrees and doesn't understand why many of the girls are so uptight and pretentious. And I can tell you from someone who has spent some time in the south, but born and raised in New England, that it has been different dating a southern girl. The biggest thing I noticed is that things that many of the MA girls were annoyed and bothered by doesn't really bother my girlfriend. Basically she is less "drama" than many of the MA girls (I can also add RI girls to this mix) that I've dated or been around. It is a little hard to explain in words, but their still is a difference in how she was raised and her environment compared to many girls around MA. I think the Boston environment has a competitive feel to it and it makes many people seem or act "cold" to any outsiders or people they don't know. Even at friend's parties I've been to around Boston many of the people won't go out of their way to introduce themselves or will stick to talking to the people they know.
I also don't buy the statement that when people up here become your friend they are for life. When you make a true friend they are supposed to be your friend for life. I've had so-called best friends backstab me here also. I believe anywhere you go you can make friends and also lose friends, it isn't any different here.
I'm not saying people in MA are better or worse, just not as open as some people in other parts of the country in my opinion. I just think many people here seem to be more on edge and bothered more easily. I find there is also less of a mix of people, because many people around here their families and friends have been here for generations.
I really could care less about beauty. I think many women have the wrong impression of guys. Most guys I know just want a physical attraction to a woman. By no means do I only want a beauty. My ex-girlfriend was a beautiful girl but completely boring. You need someone you have chemistry with and also have a lot in common with. I will admit that men are more visual and women are more emotional when looking for someone to date. That's how we differ.
LeavingMA - I think that women from densely populated urban areas are always going to come across as snobbier than ones from a less populated slower paced areas. Exactly where is your Southern girlfriend from? I would say that my Alabama friends are the most laid back of people, but Atlanta and Florida people are just as intense as Boston ones. I also find people in the NE to be overall more intellectual and well educated.
In an urban area like Boston, it's very competitive to get into the good colleges and to find the best jobs. And that carries over to afterwork activities too. And when you meet these people at parties, chances are they already have a ton of friends and acquaintances already, so they aren't looking to meet new people unless they come across as extraordinary. When there are lots of fish in the sea, you only take the best ones out of the net and home with you.. right?
And RCLMA - As to beautiful women with unattractive guys, I'll bet that they were the only ones that had the balls to walk up to those women and because they had nothing to lose, they didn't treat those women as beauty queens either. Plus there is more competition for the good looking men, and why work for good male company if you don't need to? Women don't care about a man's looks as much as men care about a woman's looks. I have always found that less handsome men are much better company and companions than the male hotties.
In an urban area like Boston, it's very competitive to get into the good colleges and to find the best jobs. And that carries over to afterwork activities too. And when you meet these people at parties, chances are they already have a ton of friends and acquaintances already, so they aren't looking to meet new people unless they come across as extraordinary. When there are lots of fish in the sea, you only take the best ones out of the net and home with you.. right?
Maybe that's the case, and I'm betting that people that didn't feel like dealing with it and just want to meet people casually find that attitude grating. I understand the attitude (as I had it as well when I lived in the Northeast) but it is most definitely not for everyone, especially if they are just moving to the area and do not know a lot of people.
As a note, this isn't in all big cities, it's in big city where the majority of people are settled/have their roots. Go to SF, NYC, Chicago, and it is not like that because the populations are more transient.
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