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I tend to pick my friends because I enjoy being around them and they seem to feel the same about me. It's companionship. that's what friends means to me.
If they had a condition, be it mental, physical or emotional, that prevented a two way companionship, I doubt that the "friendship" would endure. I would always be around to help in any way I could, but friendship??? No. I am sure that wouldn't happen.
What if you're friends with someone and they get in a car accident and become disabled or end up in a wheelchair (or say for instance you used to hike with them and now they cannot)...do you discontinue the friendship?
I recently went to a meeting the other day and there was this poor guy whose wife had left him as he was having health issues. Now...maybe they weren't true health issues (maybe they were mental or addiction-related). I guess that puts a different spin on things.
I was shocked to learn recently that in the Catholic church both mental illness and substance abuse are grounds for an annulment (sp). Wow! So much for better or worse, in sickness and in health!
Interesting. So do you feel this way with ANY addiction or is it specific to only certain addictions?
Also, do you think that non-addicts lie, cheat, use people, manipulate, seek to get money from someone and, if so, how is this different from someone with an active addiction?
Hmm... I think any addiction, which is taken to the extreme in such a way as to dominate all areas of the persons life, is a dangerous phase to be in, and as a friend, be around. I don't care if it's heroin or hoagie rolls- if they have an addiction so strong that they will be willing to push you under the bus and steal your grandma's purse, you would be wise to take a step back and evaluate the relationship, and your liability factor in maintaining it (as with any relationship that you feel is not healthy/comfortable). Of course non-addicts do all the bad stuff, too- I am not one to say that addicts are any worse people than any one else, but the OP asked specifically about addicts, and I think that it deserves a mention.
Hmm... I think any addiction, which is taken to the extreme in such a way as to dominate all areas of the persons life, is a dangerous phase to be in, and as a friend, be around. I don't care if it's heroin or hoagie rolls- if they have an addiction so strong that they will be willing to push you under the bus and steal your grandma's purse, you would be wise to take a step back and evaluate the relationship, and your liability factor in maintaining it (as with any relationship that you feel is not healthy/comfortable). Of course non-addicts do all the bad stuff, too- I am not one to say that addicts are any worse people than any one else, but the OP asked specifically about addicts, and I think that it deserves a mention.
Hoagie rolls? LOL...do you equate compulsive overeating with heroin addiction in terms of the risk they will steal from you or harm you?
What about a friend who has an Internet addiction and plenty of money and time to go out with you and have lunch? Are they to be avoided? Or, for that matter, someone with any addiction and loads of money (like a mega millionaire).
I'm don't mean to belabor the point, but I find it interesting the ways addicts are viewed. There are plenty of addicts with their own money who wouldn't need a dime from anyone, yet they all seem to be lumped in the same category, as if they are somehow really defective and to be avoided.
Maybe this is why there is such a split or disconnection between what some addicts call "normies" and they see themselves in a different category. I really think everything exists on a spectrum, including mental illness. There are varying degrees of depression (such as dysthymia vs. clinical depression), varying degree of bipolar (such as type 1 or 2). Now, I understand health care providers must label these things with discrete codes, so as to get paid.
Further, I think 12 step groups have really been a detriment to advances in addiction science (yes, that exists). Oh well.
Hoagie rolls? LOL...do you equate compulsive overeating with heroin addiction in terms of the risk they will steal from you or harm you?
What about a friend who has an Internet addiction and plenty of money and time to go out with you and have lunch? Are they to be avoided? Or, for that matter, someone with any addiction and loads of money (like a mega millionaire).
I'm don't mean to belabor the point, but I find it interesting the ways addicts are viewed. There are plenty of addicts with their own money who wouldn't need a dime from anyone, yet they all seem to be lumped in the same category, as if they are somehow really defective and to be avoided.
Maybe this is why there is such a split or disconnection between what some addicts call "normies" and they see themselves in a different category. I really think everything exists on a spectrum, including mental illness. There are varying degrees of depression (such as dysthymia vs. clinical depression), varying degree of bipolar (such as type 1 or 2). Now, I understand health care providers must label these things with discrete codes, so as to get paid.
Further, I think 12 step groups have really been a detriment to advances in addiction science (yes, that exists). Oh well.
Nah- I don't equate heroin and hoagie rolls because of their level of addiction- I really just wanted 2 things that started with "h"!
I feel for people who are drug addicts or have mental disorders but I would never think of them as being any different from a human standpoint to anyone else. I have a few friends who are drug users and, although I don't agree with what they do, it doesn't mean that they aren't nice people.
I also feel very sorry for folks who have mental disorders, commit crimes as a result of symptoms stemming from the disorder, and then get thrown in jail. As was said by someone on tv this morning, "You can't punish away a mental disorder".
you can't prevent mental illness; you can prevent substance abuse.
So what about the people who self-medicate?
I knew of someone who went through this rehab and killed herself nine months later. She just couldn't beat the depression.
I think it's better to alter one's conscienceness if it means not offing yourself.
Also, I attended a presentation where a Dr. drew this diagram. People who end up in rehab start out with lower levels of certain neurotransmitters than so called normal people. To complicate matters, a person can do crack cocaine one time and become hooked (or meth, I guess). Dopamine levels shoot high up and then comes the crash. Another fix is necessary to raise diminished dopamine levels. It's not as simplistic as saying one can prevent substance abuse, when for some people it's the first time they don't feel depressed in their life.
I guess one way to prevent SA is to never pick up a drink or cigarette or drug in one's lifetime, that is true, but most people will try at least alcohol. If they have a certain chemistry, it's a problem. Some people could try to become alcoholics and never become them - different chemistry.
I know of at least a handful of stories of people who have committed suicide as a result of stopping substances. I don't know. Maybe it's better that some people focus on harm reduction that complete abstinence.
I have a friend whose son had bipolar disorder and tried a LOT of things to deal with his SA. The guy had been in the military and really tried AA stuff, different drugs from the VA, but nothing worked. He killed himself ten years ago, although it's questionable and may have been an overdose.
People are much too harsh when it comes to addictions, but then they used to lock up people with mental health problems a couple of hundred years ago too.
It is interesting to learn all of your opinions. Thanks.
I feel for people who are drug addicts or have mental disorders but I would never think of them as being any different from a human standpoint to anyone else. I have a few friends who are drug users and, although I don't agree with what they do, it doesn't mean that they aren't nice people.
I also feel very sorry for folks who have mental disorders, commit crimes as a result of symptoms stemming from the disorder, and then get thrown in jail. As was said by someone on tv this morning, "You can't punish away a mental disorder".
It's nice to read this and you sound enlightened
It would be nice not to throw people in jail on drug charges (if that is the only charge.) I think rehab might be a better option, if a person is motivated to change. I don't think punishing drug users is the best option.
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