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Why do you think that people become "hoarders?" Obviously there are "stages" and "degrees" when it comes to "hoarding."...All of the TV shows feature "extreme hoarders."
People who become "extreme hoarders" barely leave any room in their homes for themselves...And they don't have any extra room or space for guests! I've always wondered if people like this want to put up "walls" and "barricades." (For various reasons.) What do you think?....I've heard some so-called experts say that "extra weight" is also a way to put up "walls" and "baricades" too...I've had "mild hoarders" in my family and it's affected me. It's all seemed perfectly "normal!" But none of us have become "extreme!"...I'm "antsy" and uncomfortable in totally "**** and span" and highly-organized homes! I don't feel like I "belong" there! I'm out of my realm. How about you? Thanks!
Don't even get me started on this! My Mom is a Major hoarder, of stuff, and animals. She easily is worse than any of the folks I have seen on tv, on Animal Planet, or TLC. She has always been this way. She keeps everything, and it has been worse, as she gets older, I have noticed that. Especially with the cats. There seems to be a "trigger" moment, where they lose complete touch of reality, and have their own "reality" of where having 100 cats makes sense. And having a house full of stuff is meaningful...she keeps EVERYTHING...
I have learned how to work effectively with hoarders though, from my experience with my Mom. Never throw their stuff away, help them, for example, work on one space, like the table, hand them each piece of paper, discuss what it is, let them make the decision whether it is trash, filing, or immediate action. So, there is a trash can, a file box, and a small file folder, each item goes in one of those three places, if it is paper. And just keep working...usually they are overwhelmed, so set the goal, for "cleaning off the table" and work on that goal. Then, help them work thru the file box, and small file.
As for animal hoarding, I got my Mom to self limit, to rescuing only Ragdoll cats. She was rescuing every cat, but now she self limits...she still sneaks in a few others...but she does not keep every cat now.
Last edited by jasper12; 04-10-2012 at 12:30 PM..
Reason: edit.
I don't think there is just one thing that causes this, but I do know the hoarder in question has a severe stubborn personality and is generally inflexible with other things, too.
The main stories you hear regarding hoarders are about people who grew up poor and feel the need to save everything. I don't buy this as a rule.
Poor folks who grow up , and they do, don't all feel the need to live in filth. The hoarders on the show all have old moldy food, dead animals laying around under old boxes, etc. that is a WHOLE different kind of crazy!
Something else is going on mentally. I am sure laziness factors in there somewhere. But again, anyone who would willingly live in a home crawling with lord-knows-what and having to step over pounds of clothes, etc. just to get to the next room-is stubborn beyond their intelligence.
One of our employees is a hoarder...and it's VERY difficult to keep him from bringing his "hoard" to work...we've had some major altercations about his workspace. I understand that NO ONE is allowed INTO his house, but the yard is covered with "stuff"....we just keep telling him to find someplace else for this and that...can't keep it here!
I don't really understand it....I'm fairly minimal in my things...can't stand clutter at all! I've never had a problem thowing things out!!!
Oh must we discuss this? Oh it's so painful. But yes we must. Mom was a major hoarder, but not yet to the point of living in filth. She had dementia and the hoarding started in the very earliest stages. I noticed that as she dropped down from mild to moderate that the hoarding tendencies got better after that. Some personality characteristics that I picked up on and I don't know whether they emerged, or only emerged from her hiding them, were: greed, paranoia, and narcissism. She began to accuse family members of stealing from her and hiding objects and going to auctions all the time.
And the really fun part is when your family member gets too sick to go on and you're scrambling to find them care, even as you're trying to dispose of a huge household and farm with way too much junk and it's just a mighty and stressful job. We're almost done.
My MIL was a hoarder and unfortunately my husband inherited this from her. He is a mild hoarder but it drives me crazy. We have had more fights about this than I care to count. I limit the spaces in our house where he can keep his hoard stuff. I have learned over the years that there is no amount of begging, complaining or deal making that will get thru to a hoarder so I have just learned to live with it and him.
Hoarding is a mental illness. It's one thing to collect alot of one thing, but it's another to collect so much stuff that you can barely walk through your front door. There is no reason to live in flith and have 50 animals running amuck in your home. Food harding is just digusting! I saw a hoarding show where this woman hoarded food and was not afraid to eat any of it despite it being moldy. I don't understand why some people feel the need to keep something that's broken. My Uncle was like this, he had 5 broken flash lights that he refused to throw out because he said he could fix them, well he never did fix them. Even if you have alot of stuff there's no reason to live in a filthy environment. But I guess depression sets in and you don't have the will to clean up.I watch those shows and I thank God that my home is not like that.
Hoarding is just another over used term today, another label, and to have shows about it and pass that off as entertainment is ridiculous. The reasons people keep stuff can be as varied as the individual. I don't think people should lump everyone in one basket and label them in a negative way. Ones situation can play a large part in it as can depression, BP, OCD, PTSD, and anxiety.
Regarding cleanliness and depression, if one is severely depressed chances are the place isn't going to be super tidy. When little things become major hurdles one just tries to function, to stay alive another day. With the abnormal becoming normal I find it interesting people don't have a more live and let live attitude. And if there is a real problem people need help with then offer sincere help, don't just but in to someones life and make an anonymous call "for their own good" when you may know nothing about them or their situation. Would you call a guy a hoarder that has a half a dozen old cars in various states of disrepair on his land that he won't part with because he intends to fix them up someday? I wouldn't label the guy that way, but some would.
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