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Alcoholism thread on here was very good but some were asking about Al-anon so I though I would post a general thread on it. Has anyone attended these groups? did it prove to be helpful or no?.
This site just had some suggestions for dealing with these type problems.
Is there life after addiction? You bet. Go to our Love Letters page, and meet some people who have recovered independently from serious addictions using AVRT.
I will add I went to some meetings a few years ago, I dont agree with the "disease model" and structure. Some people in the group are helpful though when they talk about their families and experiences.
dreamofmonterey...Thanks for starting the thread...Can you explain the "disease model and structure" to me? Thanks. I'd like to learn more about AA principles etc.
I have attended some excellent Al-Anon meetings. The program applies the 12 Step methodology to the partners, relatives and friends of Alcoholics as a tool for their recovery. AA is for the Alcoholic's recovery and the two programs are separate.
The AA Big Book calls alcoholism an illness, not a disease. In the 1950's Morton Jellinek advanced the disease concept.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._Morton_Jellinek.
Regardless of definitions, AA has helped millions of suffering alcoholics throughout the years to achieve permanent recovery, not a cure. Once recovery is achieved, the family and friends find themselves dealing with a person who has had a psychic change in personality. This is were Al-Anon comes in and offers a program to assist loved ones in dealing with these changes in a supportive and rehabilitative manner for all concerned.
Do loved ones need Al-Anon? No. Will it help them ? I have seen it work wonders for those who become involved and start doing the work on themselves - not the alcoholic who needs to work his own program of recovery.
Thanks Dreamer for starting this thread. Other self-help programs such as the one you suggested can be helpful also, I am sure. Of course, the program of choice for the alcoholic should be AA, IMHO.
Alcoholism thread on here was very good but some were asking about Al-anon so I though I would post a general thread on it. Has anyone attended these groups? did it prove to be helpful or no?.
This site just had some suggestions for dealing with these type problems.
Is there life after addiction? You bet. Go to our Love Letters page, and meet some people who have recovered independently from serious addictions using AVRT.
I did not find Al-Anon useful. As I said on the other thread, it was geared for people who were choosing to keep an alcoholic in their lives and learning to find ways to live with them peacefully and not be codependent. I am sure the organization is very helpful to many people in that situation.
I did enjoy hearing some of the stories from the other people who were on the receiving end of someone else's alcoholism. At least at first. After a while, you realize that all alcoholics are basically the same. The drinking robs them of their individuality.
I don't accept the disease model, either, although the addiction itself has very real physical impacts. I've watched a friend going through withdrawal from alcohol, in terror that she would have seizures, which had often happened in the past. She was gray and shaking and a complete mess.
However, alcoholics seem to carry a basic set of personality characteristics that I think are independent of, or in addition to, the actual drinking. They appear to have difficulty seeing things from another's point of view and seem to be unable to comprehend the effects their decisions and behavior have on others. They have a tendency to not tell the truth, even when there is no reason to lie. For example, my friend above, who was sober for seven years before she decided to take up drinking again, would lie to her sister on the phone about what she bought when she went shopping. There was no reason to lie about something so innocuous, but she just would make things up. My alkie ex-husband did the same thing. He would say things that weren't true for no reason at all (nothing to do with drinking or drug use, just ordinary conversation).
If you have ever had an alcoholic go through the motions of "making amends" to you, one of the 12 steps, you will know what I mean. They seem to truly want to conduct the exercise, especially if they are seriously working on the steps, but you can tell they have no real concept that they've hurt you or that you were affected in any way by their behavior when drinking. And of course, many times they simply don't remember what they did but have a vague idea that they pissed you off somewhere along the line, lol.
highly effective. coupled with counseling, esp with family on board, many have been helped.
it is however not a quick fix and constant vigilance is necessary for the addict to successfully work his program and stay clean.
dreamofmonterey...Thanks for starting the thread...Can you explain the "disease model and structure" to me? Thanks. I'd like to learn more about AA principles etc.
The disease model of addiction describes an addiction as a lifelong disease involving biologic and environmental sources of origin. The traditional medical model of disease requires only that an abnormal condition be present that causes discomfort, dysfunction, or distress to the individual afflicted. The contemporary medical model attributes addiction, in part, to changes in the brain's mesolimbic pathway.[1] The medical model also takes into consideration that such disease may be the result of other biologic, psychologic, or sociologic entities despite an incomplete understanding of the mechanisms of these entities.
JMO, there is a genetic component BUT is see alot of families use it as an excuse.
MightyQueen is also correct in the part about lying...(how do you know when an addict is lying? Their lips are moving.)
I dont like the "sociologic component" in that many people have problems in life etc, but choose not to drink to excess. There really are alot of grey areas still, though.
AA does seem to help some. My ex knows a manager at a local health food place and the guy has been sober 10 years. That said my ex just looks at it as unrelatable, i.e. he has no insight that it could help him as well. It's sad in a way.
I found it helpful in realizing that so many people had been through similar experiences. I didn't feel that I needed to go long term, though I don't have an alcoholic in my life on a day to day basis anymore. I think that finding a group you are comfortable in is key. At someone's suggestion I went to a variety of Al-anon meetings and found a group that was helpful to me. Several of the groups were not helpful. I don't buy into everything that AA believes but take the good and leave the rest.
Thanks for all the info...What are your thoughts about rehab facilities? Are most of them affliated with AA?...Celebrities sure seem to go in and out of rehab facilities all the time!
I think it depends how desperate you are - if someone in your family is in crisis, it can be a refuge - I don't think it's really helpful long-term - I think it employes a victim mentality - and I also am not a fan of the "disease model."
I also happen to think that focusing "on the problem" is not useful from a Law of Attraction perspective - what you focus on persists and you will attract more of it into your life.
Plus, those rooms are butt-ugly and depressing.
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