Girl in need of help with social anxiety (depression, medication, pressure)

[Poppity]

I am a 20 year old girl and I often feel completely unable to be myself in front of strangers and people I don't know very well. My voice involuntarily becomes deeper, and I can't help becoming a social robot. I start asking mechanical questions like "what are your hobbies? What's your major?" People become turned off, I can see it on their face, and then I get turned off too.

Very occasionally I have met girls who make me feel comfortable, and more able to speak freely. These girls are generally more accepting of all types of people, and will embrace anyone who is around them. However this is pretty rare; only 3 girls in now my junior year of college . I do appreciate them a lot, but we don't hang out that much and usually just text/talk on the phone. I don't have a single friend who is a boy, but I'm not unhappy about that, even though I'm straight.

So I end up sticking to myself, inside myself. School workload is stressful and extremely time consuming, but I can't deny that I could make more time for social activities if I truly had the motivation. Unfortunately I am often resigned to the belief that it won't go well, so I don't bother.

My parents are extremely supportive, but also a little overbearing. They give me so much advice that their thoughts jumble with my own; I get confused and I don't know what to think.

My self image is very poor. I have a very high pitched voice that sounds like a baby (although my family always tells me this is not true and they don't understand why I think this) but I am often convinced my voice is a turn off in social situations. I can't help compare myself to everyone, and feel like I am not as good as they are in many ways.

I don't wear skirts or dresses, and I prefer to wear loose, comfortable clothing. I feel embarrassed to wear shorts or anything that shows too much skin. My brother thinks that dressing a little more feminine would make other people a little more comfortable around me, but I really don't want to.


I want to get better at communicating, and being myself, being more free. But sometimes I feel like it's too much work, and that it's easier on me to be alone. I'm hoping that posting on this forum will help me branch out and mature socially.

[greatblueheron]

Certainly possible you can gain some confidence through CD posts/relationships. Takes the pressure off, if a face-to-face encounter creates anxiety for you.

I was much the same when your age...of course, experiences/causes/remedies are different for each of us. It took counseling and medications to work through the issues that I had...

People recommend counseling often in these threads. If something is bothersome enough to interfere in your life, your social progress...and is causing anxiety-talk with your MD.... or have an evaluation by a counselor-they could be most helpful to you.

Good luck-

Originally Posted by Poppity

I am a 20 year old girl and I often feel completely unable to be myself in front of strangers and people I don't know very well. My voice involuntarily becomes deeper, and I can't help becoming a social robot. I start asking mechanical questions like "what are your hobbies? What's your major?" People become turned off, I can see it on their face, and then I get turned off too.

Very occasionally I have met girls who make me feel comfortable, and more able to speak freely. These girls are generally more accepting of all types of people, and will embrace anyone who is around them. However this is pretty rare; only 3 girls in now my junior year of college . I do appreciate them a lot, but we don't hang out that much and usually just text/talk on the phone. I don't have a single friend who is a boy, but I'm not unhappy about that, even though I'm straight.

So I end up sticking to myself, inside myself. School workload is stressful and extremely time consuming, but I can't deny that I could make more time for social activities if I truly had the motivation. Unfortunately I am often resigned to the belief that it won't go well, so I don't bother.

My parents are extremely supportive, but also a little overbearing. They give me so much advice that their thoughts jumble with my own; I get confused and I don't know what to think.

My self image is very poor. I have a very high pitched voice that sounds like a baby (although my family always tells me this is not true and they don't understand why I think this) but I am often convinced my voice is a turn off in social situations. I can't help compare myself to everyone, and feel like I am not as good as they are in many ways.

I don't wear skirts or dresses, and I prefer to wear loose, comfortable clothing. I feel embarrassed to wear shorts or anything that shows too much skin. My brother thinks that dressing a little more feminine would make other people a little more comfortable around me, but I really don't want to.


I want to get better at communicating, and being myself, being more free. But sometimes I feel like it's too much work, and that it's easier on me to be alone. I'm hoping that posting on this forum will help me branch out and mature socially.

[Poppity]

Thanks for your reply It helps. I will try to post more on CD

[todd00]

Hi, Welcome to CD. I would also advise you to try a social anxiety forum. I can recommend one to you. I have a nice assortment of problems, anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, ptsd. The social anxiety for me comes when I'm out and having much general anxiety, then its very hard to communicate with anyone. So I'm sympathetic to how you feel. I also understand being hard on yourself about things and not having much self esteem. As far as CD, some parts are fine for general topics, though I'd stay away from the politics, religion and relationship sections as people can get kind of rude there at times. This section has a few that are not helpful or supportive that's why I feel specific forums are better for people with mental health issues. It's fine to come here and meet people too, but I think one gets more understanding and support reference the problems we have from a specific mental health forum. They don't tolerate rude comments there either.

As far as how you dress, I think mature young men appreciate a young woman that dresses like a lady. So many these days dress like they could be walking the street. You just wear what's comfortable for you and don't feel you have to modify your style because everyone else dresses in a certain style. People that have some depth to them will want to get to know you for you, not for some superficial reason.

I realize you have social anxiety but I wondered if you might feel more comfortable and it would be easier to open up and meet people if it were a group that you had some interest in. I don't know what all they might have at your school, but for instance a photography group, if everyone has the same interest, it makes it easier to chat about something that you and others have in common. It might be helpful. With a heavy workload comes stress, hopefully you can find a group at school to take part in, and meet some people online as well. Best of Luck to you.

[matthewethan97]

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