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I came here to vent. I will accept any advice, but I doubt that anyone can really help.
I lived in one state all of my life. My job was closing, so I moved to another state where my SO lived (we had been having a LDR for some time). I lived away from my home state for about 5 years. Our relationship went sour. I quit my job and moved back to my home state.
I have been looking for a job for over a month. I have had 4 interviews. No takers.
My ex tells me that he wants me "in his life", but I don't understand in what way, because he doesn't seem to call or write for several days at a time. I sent him an email last night (yes, for Valentine's) telling him that I don't need an emotional roller coaster. I am done hurting.
I appreciate that my daughter and son-in-law are letting me live with them, but it isn't my place. Living here makes me feel out-of-place. I feel like I'm intruding (though they haven't said that or implied that). In the mornings, I try to stay in my room so they can get ready for work and have some privacy, too. By then, it seems like half the day is gone. If I could get a place of my own, I'd be able to keep my mind busy.
I volunteered one day and enjoyed it, but it was 20 miles away. Doing that a couple times a week would cost me a tank of gas (over $40). I want to look into volunteering someplace closer. I'd like to take some classes or learn something online. I am just so unmotivated.
I feel like I'm in limbo. I like I don't belong anywhere. I'm getting very weary of the whole situation.
It seems to me you can't have it both ways. if you want a place of your own, then you need a job.
If you want to take classes and volunteer instead of working, then you're likely going to have to be dependent on your daughter & SIL for use of their home.
So which is it ? Do you want to live with family for the foreseeable future or do you want out and on your own ?
If you want your own place, then you need to find a job. That means each day that is your job. Every day is a job search. Up early in the AM, polish your resume, check the the jobs boards on the internet. I don't know what kind of work you do, but if it's the type where a recruiter would help, then go see a couple/ few recruiters. If it's not , then maybe also physically start applying by walking in to every possible place where you could find a job. But that's what you do everyday until a job is found.
Forget the boyfriend. It's over. Him saying he wants you in his life, is just him keeping his options open in case other things don't work out for him or in case maybe he thinks he can have you for a quickie if no one else is around. He is not in your best interests.
You're right ,no one can motivate you, you have to motivate yourself. But you need to do it soon. Your daughter was kind enough to open her home to you, but maybe she also sees it as a temporary condition. Don't wear out your welcome or put stress on their relationship by lingering too long.
Yes, it is very hard and very depressing when a relationship goes sour after a long time. It's normal to feel down. However, at some point your recognize that you have to move on . So feel sorry for yourself for a while and then make decisions on where you go from there. Prioritize what you want and then make a plan to go get it.
I wouldn't wait in my room, like you do. Why not just start your day as well...it's better than losing half a day all the time while you're waiting to begin...Hang in there Metamorphosis, things will get better, it's nice that your daughter and her hubby have given you a place for now...don't feel guilty..we all run into hard times occasionally, and that's what families who love each other do. Just keep trying for a job and you never know...your life could metamorphose into everything you desire.
I wouldn't wait in my room, like you do. Why not just start your day as well...it's better than losing half a day all the time while you're waiting to begin...Hang in there Metamorphosis, things will get better, it's nice that your daughter and her hubby have given you a place for now...don't feel guilty..we all run into hard times occasionally, and that's what families who love each other do. Just keep trying for a job and you never know...your life could metamorphose into everything you desire.
End the relationship. Focus on your life and your goals.
1. Tuesday morning, get up, shower, dressed and out of house by 0900.
2. Go to your local employment center, job service. Get registered there, and check out if they have any free job related classes to take.
3. Go to temp agencies and apply.
4. The goal here now is to get any job...even low wage or part time. It is easier to get a job when you have a job...
5. File for unemployment. Ask about any retraining programs you may be eligible for. You may get turned down, that is okay...
There are also churches that have job classes and networking, if you go to church.
It seems to me you can't have it both ways. if you want a place of your own, then you need a job.
If you want to take classes and volunteer instead of working, then you're likely going to have to be dependent on your daughter & SIL for use of their home.
So which is it ? Do you want to live with family for the foreseeable future or do you want out and on your own ?
I realize that I need a job to get a place of my own. While I am looking for a job and waiting for employers to call, I could be volunteering and taking classes. In my mind, it isn't an either/or situation. Meaning that I get a job/place or my own OR volunteer/take classes. I feel like I need to do it all.
I am NOT the type of person to sponge off my family. I have worked my whole life and have never been unemployed before. To put things in perspective, I've been without a job for a month, others have been without a job for a whole lot longer than that.
I appreciate everyone's input. I was thinking that I was depressed, because it runs in the family. Of course, there have been other times when I've had to pick myself up and "shake it off", so that's what I need to do at this point.
This morning I had my sorry little issues put into perspective, as I heard that someone my daughter knows had a freak accident with a piece of power equipment and may not even live. Here I am whining while other people are sitting in hospitals, praying.
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