How Close To Your Breaking Point Have You Come? (Mental Health/Illness) (depression, spouse)
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And did it scare you? And did you experience a part of you that you never saw before?
You know, we've all had those days in our lives, when too many balls have been thrown our way, all at once. And, you panic when you think: if one more ball is thrown my way today................I'm going to......................
An 80 year old man in Las Vegas last week, killed his wife, himself, and his 47-YO son, shortly after she came back from the Doctor, informing him she had inoperable cancer.
I really don't think it was that information that did it. Previously, he might have too many balls thrown at him that day or week, and that last ball just hit him in the groin area. Sometimes, it's an accumulation of balls, and that's why we read about these crazy happenings, like the straw that breaks the camel's back.
It's funny, when I've come close to my breaking point, it's always something minor, after the majors, that tests my breaking point, like dropping a glass on the floor that shatters into smithereens. Yet, if I ended it, right then and there, the preceding majors would probably be overlooked, and I'd have this ridiculous obituary stating he killed himself over dropping a glass on the floor.
Last edited by 2goldens; 10-29-2009 at 07:10 AM..
Reason: Moved from Other Topics. Subject is Mental Health/Illness
I can’t imagine being an elderly person and having bad news from the doctors about a spouse. I do believe that when it comes to health care and the worst possible news about and illness like cancer, people will do just about anything to include what this old man did in Vegas. There is nothing worse then seeing a loved one (young or old) having to deal with cancer treatments.
The breaking point for me is health issues and family members who are ill with nothing that can be done to correct it!
Location: I never said I was perfect so no refunds here sorry!
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It has never gotten bad enough where that thought has ever even crossed my mind.
Now that is not to say that I haven't been greatly saddened with bad news like stated above, however that still didn't make me think well hmmm..... maybe I will just kill everyone...
It has never gotten bad enough where that thought has ever even crossed my mind.
Now that is not to say that I haven't been greatly saddened with bad news like stated above, however that still didn't make me think well hmmm..... maybe I will just kill everyone...
While I'm currently depression-free and have been for the past four years or so, I have a LONG history of severe depression going back to my early childhood. (Alcoholic, abusive home.) I've been suicidal three times in my life, the most recent time was in 2002-2003 or so.
But I would never hurt another person the way that man in the original post did. One of my fundamental philosophies in life is, "Your rights leave off where the other person's rights begin." Hurting another person in my own despair is just...unimaginable. My brain can't even conceive of it. (When I was suicidal and I would "plan" my exit, my plans always involved putting my "house" in order so that my family would have less to deal with.)
And did it scare you? And did you experience a part of you that you never saw before?
You know, we've all had those days in our lives, when too many balls have been thrown our way, all at once. And, you panic when you think: if one more ball is thrown my way today................I'm going to......................
An 80 year old man in Las Vegas last week, killed his wife, himself, and his 47-YO son, shortly after she came back from the Doctor, informing him she had inoperable cancer.
I really don't think it was that information that did it. Previously, he might have too many balls thrown at him that day or week, and that last ball just hit him in the groin area. Sometimes, it's an accumulation of balls, and that's why we read about these crazy happenings, like the straw that breaks the camel's back.
It's funny, when I've come close to my breaking point, it's always something minor, after the majors, that tests my breaking point, like dropping a glass on the floor that shatters into smithereens. Yet, if I ended it, right then and there, the preceding majors would probably be overlooked, and I'd have this ridiculous obituary stating he killed himself over dropping a glass on the floor.
There was a time when I became obsessed with my (now-ex) husband dying. I thought about what I would wear to the funeral, how I would act grief-stricken in front of his family, etc. These fantasies brought so much relief to me imagining what it would be like to have him gone forever.
Then I came to a point where I saw how easy it would be to make the leap from wishing he were dead to thinking of ways to make it happen. That is a scary moment, realizing you could kill someone.
Fortunately, he sunk low enough on his own that it became necessary to have him removed from the house, and I went through the whole restraining order process. I previously had never thought that was an option because he rarely was physically abusive, but then I learned about our state laws. Divorce followed, he picked his life up enough to be a halfway decent father, and ten years later, we are fairly civil to each other. I'm still euphorically happy that I'm not married to him anymore, and I'm glad I'm not in prison, either.
Well... I was at work a few years back (not my current job) and had a WHOLE LOT of things happen a once (both personal and work related). I was at work one minute, then woke up in the hospital later that next day. Apparently, according to my Doc, my body and mind just gave up on all the stress and forcibly shut my body down. Scary experience.
I would never think of taking anothers' life, though.
But I would never hurt another person the way that man in the original post did. One of my fundamental philosophies in life is, "Your rights leave off where the other person's rights begin." Hurting another person in my own despair is just...unimaginable. My brain can't even conceive of it.
Everyone's breaking point varies. Some may have never had theirs tested to the max. My theory is that, at some point, the brain can shut down, you go on automatic pilot, into a black-out, with no consciousness of what may have resulted.
How else would you explain the actions of a man (this happened in Mpls. years ago) who stabs his wife 99 times? That morning, was he consciously planning to do that? What events that day triggered that? Of course, the article in the paper was very brief, no elaboration on preceding events, which leaves you guessing. He got a pink slip from his employer that day (which can test any man's breaking point, more so today)? On top of that, there were other events, his car broke down coming home? Wife nagged him too much that night? Perhaps there was talk of a divorce? We are left to fill in the blanks. My guess is that possibly the next morning, in jail, he had to be told what he did the night before, even being shown photo's of the crime scene, with a shocked look on his face. I'm just speculating.
Also being suicidal, there are times I've gotten little peeks, glimpses of what the territory that might lay beyond my own breaking point. A couple of times, severely tested, in an instant, I went from despondency, black depression, to giddiness and exhiliaration. Brain shutting down? Next step: black-out, being unconscious of the following act?
I'm hoping that's the way it's going to go some day. I'll be completely unaware of what I did, laughing like a hyena as I leave this planet. Of course, survivors will be left bewildered, unaware my brain shut down, reason and logic along with it.
I'll be 60 in April and I'm stunned I made it this far. Have untold joys everyday in my life, and sorrows, but still, I keep hearing this voice, like a little child handclasped to his Dad, looking up and asking: Isn't it time to go?
Me too, even to the points of preparing my own death and trying to kill someone else who didn't need killing.
Except for Jesus Christ and the VA, I'd be dead or in jail right now.
Still, though, I live in fear of something bringing the monster back to the surface again. If I didn't learn anything else in the war, I learned that we are ALL capable of the most heinous evil you can imagine, that all it takes is the right circumstances for ANYONE to do ANYTHING. Most people have not met their evil self, and that's a good thing, but those of us who have know how black the pit of our souls really is.
Last edited by stillkit; 10-30-2009 at 05:55 AM..
Reason: re-phrase
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