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Hi my husband is in navy and we have 3 kids 4, 5 and 9 years. We have the chose to pick Japan or Virginia he is making the diction on me and I am not sure I am not American and I have only lived here in America for 3 years and it was quite a change for me to come here I was very depressed for 2 years because I had no family around and his family was far away I have hard time to changes and i am worried that I will have the same experience if I go to Japan. I just started to open up to new things and i am not afraid to drive here any more. I have had my husband here with me all the time but now that he will go to sea he won’t be able to help me. I know my English is not good so I hope you can under stand what I am trying to say. I want some guidance because I have heard so many bad stories about Japan and my husband is not very happy with going to Virginia. so please some one guide me through this and I hope it will help
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Good for you! It can't be easy adapting to a new country and a new language.
If your husband was not going to be off at sea for long periods of time, I'd say that you should go to Japan if it was going to better advance your husband's career.
But since he will be gone most of the time, I think it would be very unfair for him to stick you in yet another foreign country while he goes off to sea.
You should remind him how much more peace of mind he will have while he's gone if you are in a place where you feel secure and can carry on better without him.
You chose each other. You must bear the hardships of being a Navy wife, and he must realize he needs to make allowances, since some things are harder for you.
Well he did say that he would not make me go to Japan if it wont make me happy while he is not going to be there most of the time. But there is also I want to make him happy we will get more pay to live there but I don’t think money is better than good health. I thank you for your thoughts in this i know I made my husband sound selfish I was just a little angry that we would not get on a same page. again thank you
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I've done both and I would say Japan for sure. It is one of the most rewarding things you can do for his career and your children. Another thing about being overseas is that your command your more like family than any other place I've ever been stationed at. Lotta activities to do with your family and a lot of the people you work with. Down side of Japan, it can be expensive, traffic sucks, and it can get boring. Which Area in Japan if you don't mind me asking. Yoko, or sasabo?
I've done both and I would say Japan for sure. It is one of the most rewarding things you can do for his career and your children. Another thing about being overseas is that your command your more like family than any other place I've ever been stationed at. Lotta activities to do with your family and a lot of the people you work with. Down side of Japan, it can be expensive, traffic sucks, and it can get boring. Which Area in Japan if you don't mind me asking. Yoko, or sasabo?
Although I was not in the Navy, I was in the Air Force for 26 years. I have been on several Navy bases overseas and worked with some Navy personnel. I was also stationed twice on Okinawa (1970's) and was stationed near Tokyo (Yokota AB) from 1982-1986. We went over to Yokota with a 15-month child and my wife was 7 months pregnant (she is also from another country than the US). First of all, the Japanese people are very friendly and helpful. We got lost once going to a Navy base south of Tokyo and a Japanese family pulled over and led the way to the base, even paying for the toll road. We enjoyed our experience there riding the trains and seeing many beautiful and ancient places. I even climbed Mt. Fuji. The military has very good family support centers and the Navy, from what I heard, goes one step further to support families while their spouse is deployed. The best way to enjoy an overseas tour is to get immersed into their culture. Learn a little of their language, see their world, enjoy their food and company. IMO, your family will come out of this a better family for going through this cultural exchange, especially your children.
As Erma said, there will be a support system for you if you choose to go to Japan, Lilicema.
The things you have to take into account are the experiences you and your husband (and children) want to experience. I was in the Navy for 21 years. If your husband is going to sea on the GW, you will definitely be in Yokosuka (where I was on the MIDWAY for 2 years). If it's a smaller ship, it could be Sasebo. Yokosuka has come a long way from when even I was there in '88-'90.
If you don't go to Japan, when is the next time you and your family will have an opportunity to go overseas (or back to Asia)? The DODDS schools overseas are normally very good, and the family support systems there are amazing. The base is beautiful and 2 hours on a train ride from Tokyo. I was lucky to have been stationed in both Japan and the Philippines. Just remember that overseas sea duty kills two birds with one stone as far as his career goes. It takes care of sea duty... and overseas duty. They'll see that on his evaluations.
I was in Virginia both on shore duty and sea duty. I, personally, didn't like it. I don't like east coast time, I didn't like the conservative nature of Virginia, and many people there are tired of the Sailors presence there, but know what they contribute to the economy. Additionally, your kids will have to go to a regular public school there (unless you pay for private school).
I would say that you have to take a chance either way it goes. If you married your husband while he was in the Navy, you had to know it was a possibility to go overseas. If that was his desire (and it is often the reason many people join the Navy versus other services), I think that you should take that into consideration. Unlike the Air Force where often they have to do a remote tour in Korea (which they complain about their entire careers (hehehehe)), Sailors are used to other countries.
Talk it out. List your priorities and have him list his. Then rank them together and come out with one list. Once that list is in place, do some research online and see which place offers more for what you both want. The Family Service Centers in both Yokosuka and Virginia should be able to send you "Welcome Pakages" that will hopefully offer more information for you to base a decision on and compare to your lists of desires.
Either way, enjoy it, you may never get back there again, whichever place you choose. Just remember that overseas sea duty kills two birds with one stone as far as his career goes. It takes care of sea duty... and overseas duty. They'll see that on his evaluations.
We were stationed at total of 14 years in Japan and loved every minute of it...I don't know how difficult it would be for you to adjust, but we loved it! I would go back there over VA in a New York Second!
I was born in Japan, my father was in the Air Force. My brother was 9 years older than me so he remembers the experience whereas I do not because we came back to the States when I was only a year old. They were there before I was conceived and have many many fond memories. All I have are pictures.
My mother and father and brother LOVED their time in Japan. The culture, the people, the food, everything. They still talk about it fondly and want to go back to visit (well, my mom and brother; my father is deceased). My mother's house is, to this day, furnished with many many things she brought back from Japan. My birth announcements pictured a baby with the phrase "Made In Japan" underneath the baby image.
I would consider it a wonderful, once in a lifetime opportunity and jump at the chance. My mother had many friends on base and my brother went to school on base... it was not an isolating experience at all.
I would jump at it if I were you! Be brave and consider it the adventure of a lifetime!
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