Relative newbie to Monterey looking to broaden social network (San Diego: transplants, how much)

[niccolo]

I've been living in Monterey for a few years now, after moving from the Northeast, and share many of the positive sentiments about living in this beautiful place that other folks have expressed on here. The running, road biking, hiking, sailing, wine and food are all pretty exceptional, and I love coming home to this place after travel.

But as a thirty-something single guy, I feel like I'm still trying to crack the code on enlarging my social circle and potential dating pool. Obviously this place isn't a big city, so expectations need to be kept in check. But I'm curious if others on here have found particular venues or informal to more formal groups that helped them built out their social networks?

I get that I'm asking a rather broad question. And I have met some great folks through work, the various activities listed above, and otherwise. But it just feels like I haven't quite figured this place out in the way I did some of the Northeast cities where I previously lived.

[MtnSurfer]

I think living in a smaller town sometimes takes more intentionality. Then add to that a somewhat more mobile/transient sub-culture and I could see it being a challenge. It sounds like you are enjoying many of the great things of the area in terms of activities. Have you've tried them in various meet-up type groups as well?

Since I didn't come here single I can't comment on that scene. However it was somewhat difficult to meet folks when we first moved here. We began attending groups related to things we are normally involved in like homeschool groups since that is what we do. In addition we attended several local churches and met quite a few folks that way.

With a somewhat limited dating pool as compared to a larger city or metro area I would probably explore some online options as well. Though it doesn't work out for everyone my BIL met his wife online for example. So it can be another avenue worth exploring.

Derek

[Clark9272]

Consider using the full potential of the internet. Women from Russia and the Philippines are open to marrying Americans, Match.com and Craigslist will expose you to women in the nether regions of Monterey County, and finally give serious consideration to Salinas.

[NewbiePoster]

Monterrey and the surrounding areas have their fair share of arts-related events, festivals, etc. Does that not work for you, OP? It's worked very well for a couple of my friends. And there must be photography classes, cooking classes, and other things of that nature that draw women.

[niccolo]

Thanks all, appreciate the various thoughts! This is something I've been, and will continue, to mull, partly my post stemmed from thinking about what might be a useful topic to sound this forum out on. To be clear, I've managed to pull together a modest social circle including some younger folks (the definition of younger folks of course being rather elastic and relative, these days for me that means thirties or mid to late twenties), and I agree with MtnSurfer that intentionality is called for.

I have participated in various festival and the like, but that hasn't been as fruitful an avenue for enlarging the social network/dating pool as I'd hoped. But agreed that meeting folks through activities is a no-brainer, and in part how I have met those in my current circle.

I don't think we have quite the critical mass locally to make internet dating really work, and while the Bay area is a much larger pool, building and sustaining something over that distance is tough, in my experience. As for mail order brides from Russia and the Philippines, I appreciate the thought, but I think I'll stick to being a locavore, as it were, for now.

[MtnSurfer]

Yes, I wondered about the distance dating scene between here and the Bay area.

Distance dating actually worked out really well for me and my bride-to-be at the time. However I knew her in on a friendship level prior to dating remotely. Sometimes distance can be a good thing in that it gives you some space while also something to really look forward to when you get together. You end up making the most of your time together. I lived in LA while she lived in San Diego. I drove down on weekends and then back. Eventually when things got more serious she moved up to LA so that we could be closer.

Santa Cruz also seems to have a pretty good sized pool of single young females. And its closer than San Jose. I would explore activity groups there as well online options.

BTW, I understand not wanting to look abroad. But this documentary is entertaining and interesting to see how things worked or didn't for the couples involved: http://www.netflix.com/WiMovie/70305...vieid=70305912

Just my 2c YMMV,

Derek

[NoParkingMonday]

I don't know about finding potential dates, but my husband and I (transplants from Boston) have had a really hard time meeting people out here. We moved to Monterey a little over a year ago, and while we've found some acquaintances both here and in the Bay Area, I don't know if I could really call any of those folks friends. I wish I knew some gal(s) to hook you up with, so we could all go out and talk about how much we miss Dunkin Donuts and good pizza.

I've found that people in the Bay Area are pretty unwilling to drive down to Monterey, despite the fact that this place is beautiful and a vacation destination. If you're willing to drive up to the Bay, I'm sure you'd have better luck with finding people to date, but you'll most likely be doing most of the work.

As an aside, my neighbors are an old retired couple. The husband is from Brooklyn, and the wife was born and raised here. He was in the Navy, and stationed at NPS for school. She used to contact the base regularly to find out if any of the incoming men were single. She'd then go to events (like the ball) at the base, and pick up the single guys---landed herself an officer. So, that's one way to do it, I suppose.

[BeauCharles]

Monterey is a pretty tough nut to crack. You really have to work at it with clubs, organizations, churches, college enrichment classes, sporting events, etc... I lived there over ten years and had maybe ten people who I felt comfortable calling to hang out with.

[Fooistis]

The Mission Ranch Inn, especially Thursday evenings. The Mission Ranch piano bar was the social center for Carmel fifty years ago, and probably 50 yrs. before that. I don't know how it is now, but Thursday evenings was when you checked out the party scene for the following weekend. All the best!

[blueskywalker]

Originally Posted by Fooistis

The Mission Ranch Inn, especially Thursday evenings. The Mission Ranch piano bar was the social center for Carmel fifty years ago, and probably 50 yrs. before that. I don't know how it is now, but Thursday evenings was when you checked out the party scene for the following weekend. All the best!

I hope that the o.p. figured things out during the last two years.