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You aren't by any chance talking to someone in the South are you? Very common to use that casually. It's not something I'd say to a client, but I do catch myself using it when talking to friends and relatives even after having been away for several years.
Ha- I was just thinking that before I read that comment. I hear this (ALOT) in the south more than I do up north. I think it's more common here for people to use that term. I would agree with the others that this is less of a race issue but more of a professional concern. I used to work in retail and I would cringe when older men (and women) would refer to me as 'sweetie' 'honey' or 'sugar'! It's funny that I can laugh at it now but I wasn't used to having total strangers speak to me in that way.
Simple solution is to continue to counter the 'hey girl' comments by referring to her in a professional manner each time. Next email she sends, just reply with a 'thanks for the info, Ms. So and So'. She'll get the message that you're not a 'hey girl' person and hopefully it will stop. I'm usually more direct than that but I don't think she means any harm so I'd handle it in this way.
I don't think she is trying to be rude, I think she is really trying to make things on a light note since a home purchase can be so frustrating. I am not sure if you are a first time home buyer, but a lot of processors like ease tensions when this situation exists. I started in this business many, many moons ago as a processor and sometimes came across as being too conservative and sometimes did not always get the job done. So I had to learn to be a little bit more whimsical, but then again, you have to learn the personalities of the people with whom you are dealing with.
If the date has been moved.. based on what you are saying, it sounds like she is having to move it because of the seller. The seller may be having problems with getting into their new home because of the people who they are buying their home from and so on and so forth. There could be a lot of transactions involved, in which case would cause a domino effect to all parties involved.
My closing date is being moved by my 'slightly insulting lender'. She hasn't even given me a new closing date! Its been dragging on for 3 weeks after my FIRST closing date. My lease is up in 2 weeks and I'm freaking out. The seller has been out of the condo since before the first closing date (the condo is on the street I currently live on)-plus the seller was already mostly living with her husband somewhere else. Arrgh!
your lender, it would seem, must have a reason behind moving the closing date. however, it may not be a good reason.
i agree that you need to shop around for an alternative; and you may want to speak with your landlord sooner than later in the event you aren't moved out prior to the end of your lease.
i am a lender and i would be happy to speak with you to see if i can give you a clue as to why the date may have been switched.
do you have a commitment from this lender? it would seem not - generally the closing is arranged between the seller & buyer and the lender (once the loan is approved) should be all set to respond to a closing date.
Rates on conforming loans have dropped drastically in the last 2 weeks. I would ask her is your rate is lower now. If she balks, start shopping around. Good Luck.
My closing date is being moved by my 'slightly insulting lender'. She hasn't even given me a new closing date! Its been dragging on for 3 weeks after my FIRST closing date. My lease is up in 2 weeks and I'm freaking out. The seller has been out of the condo since before the first closing date (the condo is on the street I currently live on)-plus the seller was already mostly living with her husband somewhere else. Arrgh!
That's one reason I don't like dealing with unprofessional, overly chummy types -- I think they're using "friendship" to cover up incompetency or something worse. That if they become your best pal then you'll overlook everything.
Oh, I'm sure it has everything to do with her being rude and racist and nothing to do with her being unprofessional. If it bothers you as much as it appears, then be blunt with her and let her know you want to be kept on a strictly professional level and that includes actual names. Trust me..."girl" isn't a racist term nor is she trying to degrade the fact that you are a woman.
I am trying to figure out why this insulted you...I honestly do not see why you are here...everyone has their way of commuicating...doesn't mean they are being mean to you.
I am trying to figure out why this insulted you...I honestly do not see why you are here...everyone has their way of commuicating...doesn't mean they are being mean to you.
It was a combination of not doing what she was supposed to do and addressing me in a non professional manner that was getting on my nerves. I in my profession I get this treatment a lot because I'm a female and I look really young for my age. I guess it gets to me more than others but oh well..I vented and thats the end of it. I have since closed and moved into my thin-walled condo. All is well in the world and I have moved on.
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