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You're absolutely right. It surely is different here. I moved here 4 years ago from Maryland after being born and raised in Pennsylvania. I've never in my time here been asked where I go to church. That topic only comes up when I approach the subject in conversation. I go to a wonderful church (not often enough) in Murrells Inlet with a preacher (pastor for you northerners) who can make you laugh or cry with one of his sermons, visits you when you're in the hospital, and doesn't care that your drawl is nowhere near as thick as his.
The food here is different. Can't say I'd ever had shrimp n' grits, pulled pork, boiled peanuts, pork chops for breakfast, or an oyster roast up north. Nor have I washed it down with a Cheerwine (southern cherry coke for you northerners). But I know that I have all these new favorites and can still cook my pot roasts and kielbasa at home.
Somebody asks me where I'm from I tell them that I moved here from Maryland, but I am from Murrells Inlet now. I like to follow that up by telling them how I feel lucky to know the good things in both places.
I can only speak of the medical care here as a patient or family thereof. I love my providers though, because they take time to talk with me about what's going on in my life, not just my blood pressure. My family members have had three orthopaedic surgeries here at Waccamaw Hospital (beautiful new hospital) by surgeons who graduated from Georgetown and George Washington in DC. My wife was treated at the ER at Waccamaw just over a year ago for MRSA. She was scared to death and frustrated with her condition and burst into tears of frustration. A female physician who was in the room took my wife in her arms and comforted her. The three of us prayed together. You bet it's different here. That never would have happened at Johns Hopkins or a lot of other inner city hospitals.
It sure is different when it comes to family. I've been involved with the Band Boosters at our local High School. Through that, my wife and I have made some wonderful friends. Southerners, who got past cultural, economic, and background differences and treat us (and we them) like family. Not a holiday goes by that they don't invite us to a dinner or picnic because they know we are "away from ours". And they taught us that barbeque is something you eat, not something you do.
And the weather is really different. Summer is hot. But with the ocean breezes here its no where near the 90+ degree, 90+% humidity of the Baltimore/ Washington area. Oh, and I haven't had to shovel the sunshine in Winter since I've moved here.
There's an old saying, "what goes around, comes around". And you're right it sure is different here. Isn't that cool. Spread some good around, look for the good things, and it will come around.
So because I don't care for the cultural and lifestyle differences here from where I grew up and am trying to find some way to come to terms with all that's very different here, *I* am the problem? Gotcha. I'll keep that in mind. It's nice to see how helpful people can be!
Not sure exactly what you hoped to accomplish with your post since you didn't offer any insight or USEFUL information, but thanks for taking the time anyway.
I appreciate your thoughtful post. You hit the nail on the head about some of the things that ARE very different. And while I am trying to enjoy them, (and some I do) there are some that I just don't love yet. I know I love looking at the weather forecast in January and sending all my northern buddies pictures of it!
My biggest question is whether or not the things that I am just not getting used to are things that will hinder me trying to make South Carolina home. Sometimes you have to take a look at things and try to understand if it's going to get better, or if it's better to pack it in and move on.
Posts like yours (from a non-native who HAS transitioned successfully) give me hope that maybe some of this is growing pains.
But then again, judging from some of the many emails I have gotten OFF the board, there are plenty of people who just couldn't get settled here and moved back north, be it New England or other places. I might have been the one to speak up and try to find some insight about why some of us have problems and what ideas others have about how to overcome them, but I am definitely NOT the only one who feels the way I do.
I live in New Jersey and have visited MB a few times. Obviously living in MB is completely different than vacationing, but based on the experience of my family who lives in the area (all New Jersey transplants), they said that religion is a non-issue. MB is probably more "secular" than other southern towns.
Although I haven't spent too much time in the deep south, I can say that MB is definetly not very "southern". More touristy/coastal type of area.
Based on your experience, I would guess you're hanging around with less than desirable people. Although there's nothing wrong with a good old pig roast .
As for food, its hit or miss. I think the quality of food is better where I live than in MB (I may be wrong, but just my opinion). As for health care, I can understand your mis-givings. Not the best quality.
So because I don't care for the cultural and lifestyle differences here from where I grew up and am trying to find some way to come to terms with all that's very different here, *I* am the problem? Gotcha. I'll keep that in mind. It's nice to see how helpful people can be!
Not sure exactly what you hoped to accomplish with your post since you didn't offer any insight or USEFUL information, but thanks for taking the time anyway.
and you wonder why you are having trouble...lol...your attitude sucks.
I guess I'll put in my two cents, since I moved here from NJ and am also still trying to find my way.
I think this thread can be helpful to people that are planning to move to a new area, which may be very different then what they are use to. They need to really take everything into consideration and decide for themselves what is important in their lives. It is very different when you vacation someplace and live there.
To the OP, I moved once from North Jersey to Central Jersey, which is very different and it took me almost four years to get use to it but once I did, I loved it! I'm not saying that will happen to you but one year, IMO is not enough time to decide unless you are miserable. No matter where you live there are pros and cons. Some of the things you have mentioned, I agree with but some of it I have not experienced at all and I've been here 2.5 years.
No one has ever asked me what church I go to and I live in Conway where most of the people are from Conway or surrounding towns. not from the NE. Most of my neighbors go to church three times a week and I don't care what they do, that's how they grew up. I am not religious and none of my neighbors care or ask me about it. Never once.
Health care, I have to agree is not great. I was very sick the last year with Fibromyalgia and Lyme disease and getting help was horrible. Too a long a story to tell but it was a very bad experience and I didn't find any of the Dr's to really care. I do have an excellent Gyno., so I'm happy about that. I am also upset about this fact but I guess unless I have to deal with is if I stay or fly north for help.
Food is different everywhere and some people may visit your home state and dislike the food. Of course everyone from NJ/NY complains how bad the Italian is here, including me but I guess it's a trade off for better weather. I just cook a lot more then I use to and think how I feel, I don't eat meat and most of my neighbors are hunters. When I lived in NJ, I wouldn't even associate with anyone that went hunting, down here almost everyone does so I would be very lonely if I kept that rule.
Family life, well everyone grows up different. My DH mother sometimes calls six times a day and he grew up in a home like "Leave it to Beaver". I grew up going to 12 different schools, moving all the time, very poor and most of my family doesn't talk or has passed away. If your friends here have tight knit families, unless it affects you directly in a negative way, who cares? My neighbors are like that and I think it's great. The only complaint I would say is, I wish they would invite me to a family dinner once in awhile because I miss that.
The last thing is, I have heard some Yankee jokes but not much. I also work from home, so I don't deal with people in an office or business that it would be an issue. Usually when people anywhere do this sort of thing, I think it comes from insecurity, so just laugh it off. Even when I moved from North Jersey to Central, people would say stuff about Northern Jersey people and that's in the same state!
I hope you find happiness because life is too short. Maybe make a list of pros and cons of staying and moving. Then make a list of what's the most important things in life to you and see how it matches up. In the end if you move back at least you tried something new. Most people (in their life) never even leave their home town and to me that's boring!
Hi! I read your original post, but am not going to spend time on the others, they are just too long. I apologize if I post any repeat info.
I'll make it short and sweet. We lived in MB for 7 years before moving to Charlotte 4 years ago. Still the south, still nice and warm, no racism, good food, nobody cares if you go to church or not. I will tell anyone who wants to know - MB is a great place to visit for vacation, and for some it is a wonderful place to live, but it is a totally different world. I don't know about other places in the south that you might be wanting to compare your experience to, but Charlotte is nothing like that. I know exactly what you are talking about.
Maybe you should try another location before going back to NE? you will miss the moderate winter for sure!
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