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Thank you for the well wishes..and I can definitely understand why you would want to be close to kids and grandkids back in NJ. But in my situation (young newlyweds about to start a family) i think its best for us to move on. By moving somewhere with a dramatically lower cost of living, we can try to have my wife be a stay at home mom instead of us both having to work and put the kid in day care. And we would likely be able to afford to own our own home much sooner instead of having to keep renting.
Not to mention i would much rather have my children someday grow up somewhere a little more friendly than essex county, NJ.
Many of the friends i had gone to high school with have already fled to places like FL, SC, AZ, CO, PA, ME, IN, OH, etc. and without exception every one of them have told me it was the right decision. I think many young people are looking at the big picture and deciding to leave.
I agree. Do it now. We considered it as newlyweds due to cost of living. After having kids, it gets harder to do a big move (and we never did it). You feel like they are making friends, you have more friends, you want to be close to family etc. Cost of living is much lower in other places and you don't need the salary you need in NJ to have a good quality of life.
We still might and I've been looking at all the potential issues. I think there are good schools everywhere, if you choose wisely. Plus, the top universities WANT kids from all states. It may be easier to get in from outside the northeast! And, just as good are more state university options, often cheaper in other states than Rutgers is in NJ.
hi guys Here's my thoughts. my husband and I moved to sussex County more than two years ago. i really did not want to move but my husband wanted to live in a bigger house as we were having 2 kids, didn't want/couldn't keep up with the Joneses and was tired of the congestion of people. He previously wanted to move to Vermont and even Pennsylvania but I'm like no way!! then my family and nobody will EVER visit me again! I also was used to living in Bergen County and loved the diverse food places and Asian groceries, etc. (I'm Asian husband is white) We now have 2 sons under 5. lived in bergen County namely Englewood then Ramsey previously. making a long story short I compromised with sussex County. I figured it was still in New Jersey and i could still access those places and my family. Sadly I still live two lives as I still work in Bergen County (horrible commute) definitely agree with the sentiments about Bergen County, the rude people traffic congestion etc, entitlement, immediate honking of the horn. But I'm used to it and sadly I've learned to toughen up and even combat with them if need be. I know bad. my husband is the opposite hence the move. Now about sussex County, where I live we have bigger property and land. Our 2 car garage, long driveway 2.3 acre house would have cost 500k or more. I live in Hampton Township / newton. I've gotten used to living here now. so I'll try to list the differences of me living here vs. Bergen County. In Ramsey it took me less than 5 minutes to get to fast food or grocery store. Here going to shoprite or fast food 10-13 minutes. There's not as much people so the horrible lines I'd have to endure in grocery stores in between County is not as bad here. The people here are not as showy or concerned about brand names or dressed to impress. Most people here are nicer and is not as hectic or at least most of the people don't seem to be hurrying up so much. Sadly not as many Asian grocery stores or those Korean markets etc. But otherwise I still have access to the typical fast food joints or Boston markets, Chinese restaurants (yay for that) etc. It's much darker here in regards to night time driving. Not as much Street lights. my sister finds it creepy to drive to my house at night. It's nature like over here low of trees and you can see deers etc. my mall here is rockaway mall which is about 40 minds away. But there doesn't seem to be a lot of jobs over here or at least one that would pay me similar to that in bergen County. I had immediately started looking for a job because I thought I couldn't handle the commute but sadly it was hard to find a job that would pay me even 32k+. I also have oil heat which is expensive but I don't have a water bill. I think I would be happier if my job was local but it's not a perfect world. Oh yeah the winter seems kind of tricky with the snow and winding roads but they do plow. I don't know about the schools yet but my research seems to show that the town I live in should be alright. so all in all my take is if I was single or it was just my husband and I, I would still want to live in Bergen County for the conveniences and amenities (and sorry even though I'm from a tropical island trees and forests and woods and no street lights still creep me out in that I've banned watching horror movies ever) but with my kids around I think I'm happy to live in Sussex County for their sake. They have a bigger house and yard to play with, surrounded by nature and farms and seemingly nicer people. And I don't want them to have to compete or feel inadequate on name brand items or material possession. We had also checked houses in Pennsylvania and Vernon but both places seemed too remote for us. Taxwise my taxes here is about 2-3k less.
par·a·graph noun \ˈper-ə-ˌgraf, ˈpa-rə-\
: a part of a piece of writing that usually deals with one subject, that begins on a new line, and that is made up of one or more sentences
par·a·graph noun \ˈper-ə-ˌgraf, ˈpa-rə-\
: a part of a piece of writing that usually deals with one subject, that begins on a new line, and that is made up of one or more sentences
Apparently, the concept of the paragraph is unknown to some people.
Listen.....you are young and you should pursue happiness in whatever flavor you think you need it. If not NOW, when you are young and relatively unencumbered, WHEN?
However......
.....the grass is literally not always greener and while that is not an impediment, it's good to be prepared for the pitstops so they don't overwhelm when they come.
....and they will come.
No place is nirvana AT FIRST. Well, actually that is not true--it seems like nirvana when you first get there....and then slowly the varnish wears off, which is actually just you mourning. What will you mourn?
All kinds of things--from bagels, to diners, to people who talk with their hands, to a distinct LACK of passive aggressiveness..... all small things you took for granted. Being from "here", knowing the "ins and outs" and having context and a past socially--all things you will feel.
But so what?
Over time, you develop and you acquire new, previously unknown habits. You make new discoveries in your new region about all that is good there--accessible services because you don't have to schlepp into the city. Newer shinier stuff. Cheaper cost of living. A little bit more overt kindness.....
Where you move is up to you, but my advice for what it's worth is this: research and try and settle somewhere where people come in and out. We moved to a brand new neighborhood when we left the state (and we have since come back) and made some great out of state friends who became our family. So many years later, we are still all in touch having spent those years togethers as out of state 'expats'.
As far as family and friends--they will be missed. But they will come and visit and stay with you and you will then discover a new side to your parents etc or which friends really do love you. All good things.
Good luck to you and by all means, GO LIVE. Life is short and the last thing you want is regrets.
But I have to tell you one thing. We moved back. Why? Grandparents and uncles and aunts and cousins----all things we wanted our children to experience. The pull towards family AFTER you have kids is tremendous. Equally, aging parents make you aware of the fragility of life and time. THOSE were the real reasons we came back. And we are glad we did....because in the end, this is and always was "home".
I never understood why so many people complain about taxes in NJ but so few people (vocally) support consolidation of services.
+1. I always hear this whining about how high the taxes are in NJ by the very people that vote for all the programs that create the increased spending and the requirement for funding. It gives me a hoot to hear the tired, "I live in a modest house and my taxes are $9,000 a year!" Well, you voted for all these things that require your taxes to go up so enjoy them... and not to mention with all the people leaving, it means more of the burden to fund falls on less people/households. Stop complaining enjoy about the high tax environment you created.
+1. I always hear this whining about how high the taxes are in NJ by the very people that vote for all the programs that create the increased spending and the requirement for funding. It gives me a hoot to hear the tired, "I live in a modest house and my taxes are $9,000 a year!" Well, you voted for all these things that require your taxes to go up so enjoy them... and not to mention with all the people leaving, it means more of the burden to fund falls on less people/households. Stop complaining enjoy about the high tax environment you created.
Exactly. This is rampant in my little corner of Morris County. In fact, there's been work underfoot to DECENTRALIZE our HS district. Also, enrollment in our grade/middle schools have decreased to the point where a school can be shut down. I don't claim to be either for or against it, but assuming it does reduce taxes, the mommies and daddies are cursing a blue streak and at the same time screaming that the roads aren't plowed to their satisfaction and "our taxes are high enough and the roads can't be plowed in a timely manner"? Yes I realize these are 2 different buckets but the fact that there may be some tangible way to lower taxes but they won't support it. Bottom line, people continually ***** and moan about taxes but they expect someone else to bear the burden of cuts. It's really insane.
To the OP,
IMO as a former 65+ years NJ resident if you have a real good job and live in one of the semi rural counties in NJ there is no better place to raise your kids and enjoy a great quality of life. Great schools and clean air is the rule rather than the exception in those areas.
Unfortunately that type of life is no longer available to working middle class individuals. Most of those people are stuck in overcrowded communities living in 800 sf houses on 50X100 lots, not what I would call a high standard of living.
The reason I say that is because working class good paying jobs are not available in NJ any longer. The Auto manufacturers and their satellite businesses are gone. The chemical companies are gone and just about every large manufacturer is gone along with good paying working class jobs.
For those seeking working class jobs in the South forget about it. Those jobs left here for Asia just a couple of years after they left NJ for the South. If you can't find a good paying job in NJ you are not going to find a good paying job in the South.
Yes houses are cheaper here and taxes are lower but everything is relative. Contrary to popular belief you are not going to find $100K houses with cheap taxes in any places where you would call working class neighborhoods. Those cheap houses are rural with run down trailers as your neighbors house.
Now if your retired like we are that's a completely different story with moving South. You sell you 600K paid for house in NJ buy one here for 1/2 that amount and bank the rest.
So my advice is if your retired come on down otherwise do the best you can in NJ because if your looking for a job the grass is just as brown down here as it is in NJ.
+1. I always hear this whining about how high the taxes are in NJ by the very people that vote for all the programs that create the increased spending and the requirement for funding. It gives me a hoot to hear the tired, "I live in a modest house and my taxes are $9,000 a year!" Well, you voted for all these things that require your taxes to go up so enjoy them... and not to mention with all the people leaving, it means more of the burden to fund falls on less people/households. Stop complaining enjoy about the high tax environment you created.
OR, they don't vote at all.
A couple of years ago, our township sent out a notice saying that if we didn't vote to allow a tax increase of more than 2%, they would have to cut garbage service from the budget and each complex would have to get their own garbage service. The next day there was another flyer in our doors basically saying it was nothing but a lame threat from the township and that we should resist. The people who did vote voted down the budget.
We had to raise our maintenance fee $15 to cover the cost of private garbage service. Now people are showing up at the condo meetings screaming at us because the maintenance fee has to be raised again for other reasons, but we haven't had a real maintenance fee increase since 2010. They point to the $15, but we remind them that that was only as a result of the town budget dropping the garbage service. Then they get mad about us having to buy our own private garbage service, and I ask, "but did you vote about that back in 2010?" Blank stares and confusion look back at me.
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