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Well, The Middlesex county probation for Child Support makes it very difficult to end child support through them. My husband is still paying child support for his 21 yr.old son who his ex wife refused to let him see. The youngest will graduate High School this June, and be 18 in August.This is just sad. The last time my husband saw his 2 kids from marriage 1 was 14 yrs. ago. And Yes, he kept taking the mother to court over this, and every single time he was forced to pay her attorney's fees. After being 30k in the hole and getting nowhere he just stopped. He never even recieved a school picture of any of his kids. But, they cash that check every week for 14 years. NJ makes it very hard to emancipate on your own. We are forced to hire another attorney for 2500. to start the emancipation process.
Good Luck
My husband is faced with a similar circumstance. We are with Ocean County Court system. He has two children from a previous marriage that he does not see, he has been to court over and over again over the years. the oldest is now in college and even though the divorce degree did not mention anything about college his exwife took him back to court and he has to pay for college. Problem is we dont have the money and have offered to give her an additional 200.00 a month to help pay for the parent plus loan the ex wife's husband is paying and have been paying it along with the child support which has also increased for the two children. OUr lawyers secretary made an error in the income and stated that we had over 10,000 in a savings account which we have no savings. Been back and forth and judge does not want to hear anything. He is ordering he pays the amount due of 2500.00 to her by next week or my husband goes to jail. This is a man who has been paying child support every week for the past 12 years, doesnt see his kids because his ex wife refuses to let him see them. Takes her to court and the judge slaps her on the hand and she still does what she wants. We dont have the money to pay and my husband is going to be forced to go to jail, I dont have the money to bail him out and I am sure he will loose his job since he wont be able to report for work. all because his ex-wife is greedy and want everything. She is not satisfied with still recieving child support and an agreement to make monthy payments for tuition and the judge goes along with it. Ocean County judges dont realize that there are other families involved and for the sake of giving one family what they request another family is ruined. My daughter wont have her father here for Christmas and we will be loosing his income forcing me to work more overtime that I work now to help make ends meet. Can anyone tell me how this is fair? Can anyone tell me how Ocean County Judges are fair? I dont see any fairness in this even trying to look at it from an outsiders point of view.
Does anyone know about how long a non custodial parent is required to pay child support in NJ? I was told it can be until the child is 22 years old. I don't see too much about it on the internet.
I was a custodial father.....my X paid me until our daughter was 18 even though she was a full time student at college living at home with me until 22.
My husband is faced with a similar circumstance. We are with Ocean County Court system. He has two children from a previous marriage that he does not see, he has been to court over and over again over the years.
the oldest is now in college and even though the divorce degree did not mention anything about college his exwife took him back to court and he has to pay for college.
Problem is we dont have the money and have offered to give her an additional 200.00 a month to help pay for the parent plus loan the ex wife's husband is paying and have been paying it along with the child support which has also increased for the two children.
FWIW, when my son went to college, the support was lowered but he had to pay 75% of the parent loan according to what he made per year. Now, while I understand you don't have the money, I surely hope neither of you have said anything to the child. My ex did this to my son, I don't think he'll ever get over what was said, it was 5 years ago.
You do have the option to go to the college and apply for the parent loan yourself, which you should do. You also have the option to try to get a personal loan. You should at least try, if you get denied you can show that to the judge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by shatz0131
This is a man who has been paying child support every week for the past 12 years, doesnt see his kids because his ex wife refuses to let him see them. Takes her to court and the judge slaps her on the hand and she still does what she wants.
I have 2 kids, one wanted to see his father, father had no interest. My daughter has no interest what so ever in seeing her father and I wouldn't doubt that he's telling people I am stopping it when I am not. My girl is a teen and able to make up her own mind, he is free to drive down here for a day and see her which he doesn't.
With your 22 year old ss, he is 22 and capable of seeing his father on his own. You don't mention the age of the other child but my guess is they are still a minor. Do they drive? Has your hubby tried to go to their house to pick them up for lunch?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shatz0131
OUr lawyers secretary made an error in the income and stated that we had over 10,000 in a savings account which we have no savings. Been back and forth and judge does not want to hear anything. He is ordering he pays the amount due of 2500.00 to her by next week or my husband goes to jail
What exactly is the $2,500. for?
Sounds like your attorney needs to fix this on their own dime. Seriously, I wouldn't let them get away with this. You should be pissed at the attorney for the mistake.
Care to post the attorney's name so others don't use him?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shatz0131
We dont have the money to pay and my husband is going to be forced to go to jail, I dont have the money to bail him out and I am sure he will loose his job since he wont be able to report for work. all because his ex-wife is greedy and want everything. She is not satisfied with still recieving child support and an agreement to make monthy payments for tuition and the judge goes along with it.
Ocean County judges dont realize that there are other families involved and for the sake of giving one family what they request another family is ruined. My daughter wont have her father here for Christmas and we will be loosing his income forcing me to work more overtime that I work now to help make ends meet. Can anyone tell me how this is fair? Can anyone tell me how Ocean County Judges are fair? I dont see any fairness in this even trying to look at it from an outsiders point of view.
Your post sounds bitter, and rightly so, but every child deserves a college education. Even though college was not written into the divorce, if you read some of the links I left on the 1st page, I said that college will be decided when the child graduates school, it's on the child support site.
Stop being so bitter and try to figure out a way around this. As I said, go to the college and see about putting a loan in your (I mean his) name. Also, who filled out the financial aid paperwork, FAFSA? Has anyone looked at scholarships? My judge in Somerset county took everything into consideration and said my son had to apply for a loan in his name 1st and that whatever was not covered would go under the parent loan which we would split (75% him). Judge said my son was responsible to apply for scholarships. Judge said my son could also keep his part time job due to the amount of hours he would be going to school. Was any of this considered when you went to court?
What I also did was changed where the support got deposited. My son got everything; I washed my hands of it once he went to school so that I wasn't accused of taking his money.
Last thoughts.. if this was your child wanting to go to college how would you feel? If the child has good grades (this also was taken into consideration) and is interested in going to school, they should have the opportunity. If it meant I had to work a 2nd job I would.
I forgot to add that as a parent he also has rights. Most colleges are online and your hubby should be given the log in info so he can track the kids grades. I was told we couldn't have it both ways, if he is paying for the college, my son had to put him on the access list (which was new back then). My son also had to maintain passing grades.
Good luck.
Didn't realize there were 2 child support topics here is the other post link
Thanks for the replies. The 2500.00 is the remainder of the college tuition that we need to pay for this year which we have already paid 3000.00 of. I might be bitter but I am NOT DENYING MY STEPDAUGHTER AN EDUCATION. I believe any child should have an education it is very important. we have tried student loans but his ex-wife brought told him about paying for college and it was to late for us to get a parent plus loan. We have tried to remortage our house, get student loans, personal loans and we cant get any of it. Our credit is maxed since my husband has just returned to work after being out for over a year. Child support was paid from me, when unemployemnt ran out. We know what our obligations are and want to pay but my beef is with the judicial system that even after we showed the judge all the avenues that we tried to come up with this lump sum, and offered and have been paying his wife extra money a month toward her parent plus loan that her husband took out the judge doesnt care and wants my husband to come up with the balance of the money by next week or face jail. I cannot understand why this judge is being so unfair and not opening to reason. The child is going to college and her grades are spectacular. Even though we have no contact with her and havent for over 4 years my husband and I still feel that the child should have an education and not be denied. We are just asking the judge to allow us to make payments to his ex wife in a timely manner and that is not even being done. The attorney who made the mistake is trying to fight it and is not charging us for it since it was his office mistake. It is the judge that doesnt seem to care. I dont know how they think child support can continue and paying for college if he is in jail. We just want Ocean County judges to listen to reason.
We have tried everything. His ex wife filled out the FASFA after she took him to court. The college said we could not do the parent plus loan because the family had already did it. And the bill was paid. Scholarships were taking into consideration and I think my stepdaughter has a part time job. We are not sure since she refuses to talk to her father. As far as what the young lady knows it is not from my husband or me since we have no contact with her. We have paid already 4000.00 of his portion of the bill for college this year and there is another 2500.00 that is left which the judge ordered to be paid by next week. We have been given his ex wife additional monthly payments of 200.00 to cover her parent plus loan and the judge said my husband's amount is now 2100.00 but still has to be paid by next week or he faces jail. This man has always paid his child support for 12 years and we are not fighting my stepdaughter going to college. That is not the issue with my post. We have tried all avenues to get this extra money. As far as remortaging our home which is maxed. Our credit cards are maxed since my husband as just returned to work after being out of work for 1 year due to a disability. I work as much overtime as I can but I have bills to pay for our house and our children. My 20 year old son does not go to college that his is choice. My beef on this post was with the Ocean county court system, not the child or the ex wife. I understand the ex wife has bills also and is trying to raise children with additional children she has had with her new husband. I cant see the fairness in the JUDGE as to not allowing my husband to make payments,even if he increased the amount but to make the man pay 2100.00 when it is clear from his income that he cannot make it is just unjust. My income has nothing to do with it and my income goes to running my household since my husband's income goes for child support from his previous marriage. I really think someone should be regualting these judges and the decisions they make. How is it in the best interest of the child if you put a man willing to make some kind of payment arrangements in jail because the judge wants it all or nothing? How is this child going to get her money for college which is money that is owed to her mother and I am not saying not to pay her. We are helping her pay the loan her husband took out. How is this child going to get her child support when her father is in jail? How is this judge helping anything? And my husband tried to get the support put into an account for his daughter since she is away at college and he wouldnt go for it. Wants it still directly paid to the ex wife. It is the system and the judge I am bitter against not the child and the ex wife.
Thanks for the replies. The 2500.00 is the remainder of the college tuition that we need to pay for this year which we have already paid 3000.00 of. I might be bitter but I am NOT DENYING MY STEPDAUGHTER AN EDUCATION. I believe any child should have an education it is very important. we have tried student loans but his ex-wife brought told him about paying for college and it was to late for us to get a parent plus loan.
We have tried to remortage our house, get student loans, personal loans and we cant get any of it. Our credit is maxed since my husband has just returned to work after being out for over a year. Child support was paid from me, when unemployemnt ran out.
We know what our obligations are and want to pay but my beef is with the judicial system that even after we showed the judge all the avenues that we tried to come up with this lump sum, and offered and have been paying his wife extra money a month toward her parent plus loan that her husband took out the judge doesnt care and wants my husband to come up with the balance of the money by next week or face jail.
I cannot understand why this judge is being so unfair and not opening to reason. The child is going to college and her grades are spectacular. Even though we have no contact with her and havent for over 4 years my husband and I still feel that the child should have an education and not be denied. We are just asking the judge to allow us to make payments to his ex wife in a timely manner and that is not even being done.
The attorney who made the mistake is trying to fight it and is not charging us for it since it was his office mistake. It is the judge that doesnt seem to care. I dont know how they think child support can continue and paying for college if he is in jail. We just want Ocean County judges to listen to reason.
Sounds like the judge doesn't like your attorney, and he may have reason.. sounds like his office is screwed up and if he couldn't get some sort of satisfaction, he's not that great according to things you say. I met one attorney from out your way, not sure if he's in Monmouth or Ocean but he had this way about him where when he walked into a room, you just hated his guts. I hope he's not your attorney..
Maybe you want to have a consult with my attorney in Burlington County, consults are free. He knows what he's doing and it might be worth it.
If your hubby was legally disabled, the support should have been adjusted, it shouldn't have come from you.
From what you're saying, something isn't right; especially since he hasn't seen his kids in 4 years, he should at least have them for holidays. I'm surprised as judges usually frown on kids not seeing their parent, even my daughter goes 4 times per year, usually a week in the summer and part of winter break.
What percent of college are you guys paying (if you don't mind saying?) Do you get to claim the kids on income tax at all? Will you get to write off (part of) the college loan?
Quote:
Originally Posted by shatz0131
And my husband tried to get the support put into an account for his daughter since she is away at college and he wouldnt go for it. Wants it still directly paid to the ex wife. It is the system and the judge I am bitter against not the child and the ex wife.
By law they can't give the money straight to the kid even though they are an adult, I asked. It has to do with them and the student/dependent status. I did this on my own, all of my child support went to his savings account, I then took the support for my other child once it showed up, leaving his in his account.
No she isnt going to the ARt institute. going to Rutgers and boarding. Yes he doesnt get to see them at all. They refuse to see him even though he has tried. I am fed up with it all. It seems that it is better not to be with him and just count on my money. we dont count on his income since it goes to his first family but when these surprises come then I am the one that has to bail him out and pay to her. It is very frustrating. My 401k has been depleted. We have no savings and now I had to pay the money with my paycheck so alas I cant pay my bills this month. This isnt fair and it is sad that it seems like the courts spend more time caring for the first family and forget about the other family. I am ready to hang it up and divorce him and just go on. No I wont get money for him or try but it is sad. Physically it is making me ill and I cant concentrate on my job. Some things are just more than one person can bear. This woman is relentless, she wants more and more and the sad fact is she doesnt work. I dont understand the reasoning of the laws but I am done....
Location: Pelion, South Carolina/orig. from Cape May, NJ
1,113 posts, read 3,495,189 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shatz0131
No she isnt going to the ARt institute. going to Rutgers and boarding. Yes he doesnt get to see them at all. They refuse to see him even though he has tried. I am fed up with it all. It seems that it is better not to be with him and just count on my money. we dont count on his income since it goes to his first family but when these surprises come then I am the one that has to bail him out and pay to her. It is very frustrating. My 401k has been depleted. We have no savings and now I had to pay the money with my paycheck so alas I cant pay my bills this month. This isnt fair and it is sad that it seems like the courts spend more time caring for the first family and forget about the other family. I am ready to hang it up and divorce him and just go on. No I wont get money for him or try but it is sad. Physically it is making me ill and I cant concentrate on my job. Some things are just more than one person can bear. This woman is relentless, she wants more and more and the sad fact is she doesnt work. I dont understand the reasoning of the laws but I am done....
I can relate...I started a thread titled "When the ex won't let you see the kid(s)" under the "relationships' forum. Check out my husband's story-dealing with his ex and this child support fiasco makes me physically ill, too. ITA with your statement about courts only caring about the "first family" (not that I'd call an ex-GF and an out-of-wedlock kid 'family'). We have 2 kids and everything seems to go my husband's kid from his previous relationship. We've had to swallow our pride and apply for government aid because of it. It's disgusting. The only way I can see getting out of this situation is moving miles and miles away and disappearing from view.
I admire you for paying your husband's support when he couldn't, but personally I refuse to do that. I have my own kids to support, thank you.
If the child is 18 and has completed high school and there is no court agreement in regards to college you have to petition to have it end. Start with the probation dept you make your payments to.
Then the probation dept you pay through will send a letter to your ex, if she refuses to sign off on it there has to be valid reasons..but you have to take the first step or they will continue to take the money
First off, the state's probation dept does NOT accept any type of agmts OUTSIDE of a court order..PERIOD! They are NOT a negotiable entity. They are explicitly cash and people collectors. Emancipation is ONLY performed by the courts. It is possible, however, to have an independent agmt with your EX with modifications, emancipation, etc, but only to be motioned DIRECTLY with the court system. Outside of any agmts with your EX, emancipation is gen'ly NOT awarded if the child is still in school, collegte, etc...(hope this was clear!)
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Rebuttal of NJ's CS Procedures
