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Ohhh, is that right? Hmmm, maybe a good reason to stay married.
Yeah, my friend is going through this with her ex - they are both required to pay for their daughter's school but there is no obligation for kids she has with her current husband. It's crazy!
This is an old thread,but yes,saving for retirement and college is a luxury.
Parents aren't obligated to pay for the kids college education.
That said, I'm not sure how someone can squeeze any more money out of 100,000 in Nj.
I'm usre it can be done in Alabama though.
I couldn't afford to save for my daughter's college. It took everything I had to support us. I rented a ratty old house for $2200 in a decent town with good schools and where my mother lived so that my kid would have someone to go to after school while I schlepped to the city for work, drove an old car, etc., but I also made sure she got to participate in the same school activities as the other kids and have horseback riding lessons (the only sport she was ever good at, lol).
Yes, you can say don't let her go on the school band trips or have the riding lessons in favor of saving a couple of dollars for college, but then childhood is gone and there are no more chances to do those things, and the small amount I would have been able to save for college wouldn't have made a drop in the bucket anyway. I didn't make $100K in the years when she was growing up, and I was the only income with an occasional $100 here or there of "child support" tossed my way when my ex felt like it.
I took out loans to help pay for my daughter's college.
Yeah, my friend is going through this with her ex - they are both required to pay for their daughter's school but there is no obligation for kids she has with her current husband. It's crazy!
It is crazy. I know someone who's 18 year old son refused to have any contact with him, yet the court still required him to pay half of the son's yearly tuition at a $50K per year school. If he was still married to the mother, he wouldn't have had to pay a dime.
I couldn't afford to save for my daughter's college. It took everything I had to support us. I rented a ratty old house for $2200 in a decent town with good schools and where my mother lived so that my kid would have someone to go to after school while I schlepped to the city for work, drove an old car, etc., but I also made sure she got to participate in the same school activities as the other kids and have horseback riding lessons (the only sport she was ever good at, lol).
Yes, you can say don't let her go on the school band trips or have the riding lessons in favor of saving a couple of dollars for college, but then childhood is gone and there are no more chances to do those things, and the small amount I would have been able to save for college wouldn't have made a drop in the bucket anyway. I didn't make $100K in the years when she was growing up, and I was the only income with an occasional $100 here or there of "child support" tossed my way when my ex felt like it.
I took out loans to help pay for my daughter's college.
Another great insight into reality and hard choices.
I couldn't afford to save for my daughter's college. It took everything I had to support us. I rented a ratty old house for $2200 in a decent town with good schools and where my mother lived so that my kid would have someone to go to after school while I schlepped to the city for work, drove an old car, etc., but I also made sure she got to participate in the same school activities as the other kids and have horseback riding lessons (the only sport she was ever good at, lol).
Yes, you can say don't let her go on the school band trips or have the riding lessons in favor of saving a couple of dollars for college, but then childhood is gone and there are no more chances to do those things, and the small amount I would have been able to save for college wouldn't have made a drop in the bucket anyway. I didn't make $100K in the years when she was growing up, and I was the only income with an occasional $100 here or there of "child support" tossed my way when my ex felt like it.
I took out loans to help pay for my daughter's college.
bottom line - "rich" is someone who has $1 more than I do
lol, how true.
On the topic of college though, while it's nice if parents can save, I'm really not sure how most average folks are able to squirrel enough away to afford most college's especially if they have multiple kids. My wife and I have had investment accounts for our three kids since they were born. We contribute to it annually and both sets of grandparents contribute to it as well. The kids also put some of their own money into the account. While we are not necessarily making a monumental effort, it is a bit of a sacrifice to do. The kids may end up with around $50k by the time they are 18 given the current contributions.
This is pretty much the money my wife and I will have set aside for them to start their adult life, but that's all there will be unless our financial situation greatly changes. Our "other" gift to them is the fact that we have been saving for our own retirement since we first started working. We don't ever foresee us needing our kids to support us in our later years and should have enough left to make sure our grandkids have some seed money.
When it comes to college if my kids are not able to get scholarships then my advice to them is to choose a good value over an ideal experience. Don't pick the $30k a year liberal arts college, settle for starting at county and then transferring to a state school. There are many degree programs out there now that emphasize this root and allow you to gain degrees faster and cheaper. I'd personally hate to see them plow the little bit of money we could save straight into a couple years of tuition. That money can help support them in school, defray some of the expense, but then serve as a real nice nest egg when it comes to buying a house or getting established.
On the topic of college though, while it's nice if parents can save, I'm really not sure how most average folks are able to squirrel enough away to afford most college's especially if they have multiple kids. My wife and I have had investment accounts for our three kids since they were born. We contribute to it annually and both sets of grandparents contribute to it as well. The kids also put some of their own money into the account. While we are not necessarily making a monumental effort, it is a bit of a sacrifice to do. The kids may end up with around $50k by the time they are 18 given the current contributions.
This is pretty much the money my wife and I will have set aside for them to start their adult life, but that's all there will be unless our financial situation greatly changes. Our "other" gift to them is the fact that we have been saving for our own retirement since we first started working. We don't ever foresee us needing our kids to support us in our later years and should have enough left to make sure our grandkids have some seed money.
When it comes to college if my kids are not able to get scholarships then my advice to them is to choose a good value over an ideal experience. Don't pick the $30k a year liberal arts college, settle for starting at county and then transferring to a state school. There are many degree programs out there now that emphasize this root and allow you to gain degrees faster and cheaper. I'd personally hate to see them plow the little bit of money we could save straight into a couple years of tuition. That money can help support them in school, defray some of the expense, but then serve as a real nice nest egg when it comes to buying a house or getting established.
I agree with what you are saying. My kids (twins) start college in 3 years (my God how does time fly, they started kindy just last year, right? ) and right now we probably have enough saved for 2 years for each of them, assuming a reasonably priced school. My parents are deceased and my IL's don't have anything to give. With 3 years left, we don't have enough time to squirrel away enough for the whole ride, and we won't sacrifice retirement savings for them. We may be able to swing the monthly payments for those last few years but not sure we'd do that. The old adage "they can take out loans for college, you can't take loans out for retirement" (except I guess a reverse mortgage) is true and one we adhere to. If they take out loans and are responsible with jobs, we may help pay them off.
I also agree about scholarships and county college. Your degree is where you end up the last 2 years, so it's a viable alternative. I know a lot of kids graduating this year and while some are getting upwards of $20K from the school, it's still $30K a year. Absolute insanity, IMHO.
My wife and I have no kids and relatively little debt, so I feel comfortable here, even though we make only middle-class wages (which in NJ is about $75,000-$150,000 in my estimation). But even when you make a lot, you tend to spend a lot, so I don't envy "rich" people, as you never know what kind of debt load they're carrying or how anxious they might feel about money.
For example, I knew a family here with a huge, beautiful home, who probably pulled in a pretty decent salary ($150,000-$200,000?), but they paid $16,000/yr in property taxes, and had two kids in college. That, plus two car notes and other everyday expenses, really adds up, needless to say.
My wife has a single friend who was once lamenting her "embarrassingly low salary", which we later discovered was $37,000 --- more than either of us was making at the time.
It's funny how people have different perspectives on how well-off they are. It reminds me of a cartoon from the Wall Street Journal. Note the concerned expressions. The single mom making $260,000 (!) could have been copied from a Dorothy Lange photograph :
250k in NJ is not rich..... Not even close my friend.............
Quote:
Originally Posted by ghuber
I know you're all gonna love this one... In your opinion, how much do you need to earn (household income) in order to be considered middle class, upper middle class and rich in NJ? Try to factor in the generally absurd cost of living.
I think middle class can be defined as $75-150k in NJ. Upper-middle class 151k-250k. Rich 251k+. Oh I consider these brackets mainly applicable for Northern and most of central NJ. From my understanding southern parts of our state are different as the cost of living is quite a bit less.
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) and right now we probably have enough saved for 2 years for each of them, assuming a reasonably priced school. My parents are deceased and my IL's don't have anything to give. With 3 years left, we don't have enough time to squirrel away enough for the whole ride, and we won't sacrifice retirement savings for them. We may be able to swing the monthly payments for those last few years but not sure we'd do that. The old adage "they can take out loans for college, you can't take loans out for retirement" (except I guess a reverse mortgage) is true and one we adhere to. If they take out loans and are responsible with jobs, we may help pay them off.
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