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Old 10-18-2011, 06:27 PM
 
8 posts, read 50,547 times
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My husband and I are considering moving back to NYC next fall but are not sure if we will be able to live together or not because of his job/my school. He is considering taking a job at Westchester Medical Center in Valhalla and I am going to be going to school at Columbia in Morningside Heights. Because of his job, he has to be within 30 minutes of the hospital when he is on-call. Because of my school schedule, I would prefer not to have anything over an hour commute each way every day. Where can we possibly live that will meet both of these requirements?

I am wondering if anyone has any advice on our situation. I was really hoping to be able to live in Manhattan and a) live in Washington Heights where my husband may be able to drive to work or b) live near the 125th MetroNorth stop where he could take the train. The problem with MetroNorth is that there still is no good way to get from the Valhalla stop to the hospital. I have also heard that driving back into the city can be a nightmare.

Is there no hope that we can live together without it meaning that I have a terrible commute every day? We are willing to have two places, one in Manhattan and one in Westchester, but of course, don't WANT to do that. Please help!!! I am a city girl and have no idea if I could stand not only commuting from Westchester everyday, but living there also. Help!
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Old 10-18-2011, 07:23 PM
 
5,532 posts, read 5,712,785 times
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Maybe its me, but I wouldn't live separately form a spouse for any job.
However, I don't think you have a difficult problem. You can live close to the 125th, but that's Harlem (although that neighborhood is nice). You can also find something around White plains. There is a direct train from White Plains to the 125th. Driving into the city is also doable. For a while, I commuted from Westchester to Long Island, so yours is relatively easy.
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Old 10-19-2011, 04:09 AM
 
Location: On the Rails in Northern NJ
12,381 posts, read 22,620,647 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjordan22 View Post
My husband and I are considering moving back to NYC next fall but are not sure if we will be able to live together or not because of his job/my school. He is considering taking a job at Westchester Medical Center in Valhalla and I am going to be going to school at Columbia in Morningside Heights. Because of his job, he has to be within 30 minutes of the hospital when he is on-call. Because of my school schedule, I would prefer not to have anything over an hour commute each way every day. Where can we possibly live that will meet both of these requirements?

I am wondering if anyone has any advice on our situation. I was really hoping to be able to live in Manhattan and a) live in Washington Heights where my husband may be able to drive to work or b) live near the 125th MetroNorth stop where he could take the train. The problem with MetroNorth is that there still is no good way to get from the Valhalla stop to the hospital. I have also heard that driving back into the city can be a nightmare.

Is there no hope that we can live together without it meaning that I have a terrible commute every day? We are willing to have two places, one in Manhattan and one in Westchester, but of course, don't WANT to do that. Please help!!! I am a city girl and have no idea if I could stand not only commuting from Westchester everyday, but living there also. Help!
Why not live in White Plains which is a smaller city of 65,000, and next to Valhalla and has great bus and train connections to NYC either the Bronx or Manhattan.
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Old 10-19-2011, 05:24 AM
 
Location: Beautiful Pelham Parkway,The Bronx
8,389 posts, read 19,619,570 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjordan22 View Post
My husband and I are considering moving back to NYC next fall but are not sure if we will be able to live together or not because of his job/my school. He is considering taking a job at Westchester Medical Center in Valhalla and I am going to be going to school at Columbia in Morningside Heights. Because of his job, he has to be within 30 minutes of the hospital when he is on-call. Because of my school schedule, I would prefer not to have anything over an hour commute each way every day. Where can we possibly live that will meet both of these requirements?

I am wondering if anyone has any advice on our situation. I was really hoping to be able to live in Manhattan and a) live in Washington Heights where my husband may be able to drive to work or b) live near the 125th MetroNorth stop where he could take the train. The problem with MetroNorth is that there still is no good way to get from the Valhalla stop to the hospital. I have also heard that driving back into the city can be a nightmare.

Is there no hope that we can live together without it meaning that I have a terrible commute every day? We are willing to have two places, one in Manhattan and one in Westchester, but of course, don't WANT to do that.
Please help!!! I am a city girl and have no idea if I could stand not only commuting from Westchester everyday, but living there also. Help!
Seems to me like YOU are the one who should be a little more flexible. Your husband is the one with the full time job that requires being close to work ( he has no choice) yet YOU WANT to live in Manhattan and YOU DON'T WANT to have a long commute.

Because of your WANTS you are thinking of unnecessarily living in NYC and paying the extra NYC income tax or living separately from your husband ?

This doesn't sound like a marriage that will last very long to me. I feel sorry for your husband,

Actually,it might be better if you do live separately.It would make it easier for him to find a new spouse.

Manhattan is probably out for your scenario because Metro North will not work for him.You might have to think of living somewhere in The Bronx that is an under 30 drive for him and on a West side subway line for you.Riverdale might work well but I'm not sure of the drive time to Valhalla. It might be a little under 30 mins and the trip to Columbia on the 1 train would be about the same.

Last edited by bluedog2; 10-19-2011 at 05:50 AM..
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Old 10-19-2011, 07:39 AM
 
2,853 posts, read 6,250,461 times
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Originally Posted by bluedog2 View Post
Seems to me like YOU are the one who should be a little more flexible. Your husband is the one with the full time job that requires being close to work ( he has no choice) yet YOU WANT to live in Manhattan and YOU DON'T WANT to have a long commute.

Because of your WANTS you are thinking of unnecessarily living in NYC and paying the extra NYC income tax or living separately from your husband ?
Yes, this. I agree. When you're in school, versus the spouse working full-time, I think you need to be a little more flexible.
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:19 AM
 
8 posts, read 50,547 times
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Thanks for the replies! I am a little shocked at how far people go to judge my marriage without knowing anything about my husband or I, but I am still grateful for the advice I asked for: Commuting.

I should have said that MY HUSBAND and I BOTH want to live in the city. He doesn't like Westchester that much either, though we are really going to try to give it a chance when we go out for a visit next month. The fact is, I have been sacrificing for his education and career for years now, and have put all of my ambitions on hold. Because we both want careers, we have had to take turns professionally. That is just the reality of our situation. In my husband's words, it is sort of my "turn." I am completely flexible to live where we can live together, but I don't think it is very realistic for me to have 3 hours of commuting to do each day. I also work while I am in school and want time to actually see my husband every day, but the further in Westchester we live, it seems like that is more likely to be never (he works anywhere from 12-20 hour days). Living a part temporarily isn't a big deal for us because our marriage is very strong. There will be those out there who can't understand that, but if we didn't live together, it wouldn't be for very long. Max 2 years. We were already long distance (from NYC to San Diego) before we got married and I quit school and moved to California to be with him because of how inflexible his career is.

I think Riverdale or somewhere in the Bronx may actually work. Thanks for that idea! I know they even have student housing up there and a shuttle that takes you to campus. But for my husband, after he takes Metro North, how could he get to the hospital? It is only a couple miles from the train from the map. Do some businesses have shuttles or are there any buses? I think we will have one car no matter what, so he could also try driving, I was just scared that traffic coming back in to the city would be too bad and I don't want him sitting in the car for hours after a long day.

As a couple, we were considering having two places so that neither of our careers/school would be too greatly effected. We would still be together Thursday-Sunday. Again, temporary. The Bronx idea is good. Does anyone have any experience with Washington Heights? I used to live up by 181st and we both really like it up there, just wasn't sure about traffic. Thanks again for everyone's advice!
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:24 AM
 
168 posts, read 455,177 times
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Riverdale to Westchester Medical Center via car in 30 minutes is doable under ideal traffic conditions, but stretching it with traffic/depending on what time of day. Washington Heights to West. Med in 30 minutes via car is not possible unless you break the law.
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:30 AM
 
8 posts, read 50,547 times
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Thanks for your help! What about New Rochelle? I know that a guy he will work with lives there. What is it like? Is it easy to get to the city?
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:35 AM
 
168 posts, read 455,177 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maryjordan22 View Post
Thanks for your help! What about New Rochelle? I know that a guy he will work with lives there. What is it like? Is it easy to get to the city?
From a quality of life standpoint, White Plains is nicer, and from a commuting standpoint, more ideal for him (and possibly for you as well, if you opt drive to Morningside on some days). New Rochelle is SE Westchester, and Valhalla is in North/Central Westchester. New Rochelle to West. Med by car in 30 minutes is more up in the air than Riverdale to West. Med. The 95/287 corridor is nasty at certain times of day...

Also, if you don't mind me asking, is saving money by living together not a concern?
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Old 10-19-2011, 09:56 AM
 
8 posts, read 50,547 times
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We are in the early stages of figuring this out, but most likely we would be spending most of our money for rent in Westchester somewhere, since money goes a little further there. If I lived separately in the city, I would have a bare bones place, just with a bed and place to study. Overall we could spend around $4000 or so per month on rent for the two places, but these aren't hard numbers yet.

Let me see if I am getting this right: from most of the posts, it sounds like living somewhere in Westchester near Metro North is the best solution. I may or may not have to have a little place to sleep during the school week in the city, but our main residence would be in Westchester.

That opens up a new can of worms for someone who has been to Westchester only one time! Pullinghairs, you said that New Rochelle may be a little far. Good to know, though I only asked because the guy he will work with who has the same limitations lives there. I have heard that White Plains is sort of /urban/. Is that true? Where might a young professional couple (with a dog :-)) live where our lifestyle doesn't have to be completely boring when we aren't at work/school? We love good restaurants and bars, parks, museums, movies, and culture. When you live in Westchester, do you both have to have cars? Sorry for so many questions! Just a little afraid of the suburbs, but probably for no good reason.
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