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Do keep in mind many people in Manhattan are living in housing projects and various forms of subsidized housing.
Not all housing in Manhattan is luxury or high end ,and there are definitely lower middle class, and working class people in Manhattan. Even a lot of the high end housing is mixed income.
I realize that. I was responding to a poster that said "very few" make six figure salaries. There's also a lot at the high end in Manhattan.
In a city this size, there are plenty of decent guys. However, what could be safely said is that the NYC lifestyle does not encourage outgoing successful guys to settle down. Why? Because as you may have noticed, a woman in your situation has no leverage over these guys. If you put the pressure on them to commit, they can easily move onto the next one. However, there is a large group of guys who would settle down if they were given the chance. Go look at the thread called "How to meet women in NY?" However, these guys would never appear on your radar. They are usually not as outgoing and don't have the flash and charm to impress you right away.
I wasn't aware that 72K is a lot of money, especially if you saw the hours I work to make it. Trust me, anyone can do it... it's not hard. I've come to the conclusion that unless I meet someone who makes at least several times what I do it just isn't going to happen for me (having a family). Not if I intend to keep my career anyway. It takes a LOT of money to raise even one child in the city. I looked at private schools. Anything even remotely decent would eat up half of my income right there. Not to mention the fact I would also need a part-time nanny, what's that going to cost? Plus, I would need more space and an extra bedroom... how much is that going to increase the rent?
When you get right down to it, 250K is NOT rich so anyone who thinks 72K is a lot is really not being truthful. It's somewhat comfortable for a single person living in an outer borough/nontrendy neighborhood. A family, not so much. The public schools are terrible so you can't tell me that is a realistic option. Obama is out of his frickin' mind lol, saying 250K is rich. The starting point should be at least 400K, and even that is upper-middle class. When I pay all of my bills at the end of the month and put away a very MODEST savings I am left with hardly anything. I will admit I am high maintenance (I need to be for my job) so my expenses in that area are a bit outside the norm.
I had a thought while I was out walking today. A lot of women, myself included, complain about men in this city being players. But maybe they've just figured it out, most of them. The vast majority of them will never make enough to support and raise a family so they just play the field? Do I have it right? I hate being in this position of having to decide whether to stay for my career or leave for a family. But unless a guy comes along as I've described above I just don't see how my dreams are remotely possible. The odds of me snagging a guy like that are next to impossible due to the overabundance of women in this town who think JUST like me. The pool of eligible men is very, very small. And it gets worse each year as I age. Okay, I am now getting so depressed writing this I have to shut off my computer and walk away.
Last edited by EastBoundandDownChick; 05-24-2013 at 10:26 AM..
I wasn't aware that 72K is a lot of money, especially if you saw the hours I work to make it. Trust me, anyone can do it... it's not hard. I've come to the conclusion that unless I meet someone who makes at least several times what I do it just isn't going to happen for me (having a family). Not if I intend to keep my career anyway. It takes a LOT of money to raise even one child in the city. I looked at private schools. Anything even remotely decent would eat up half of my income right there. Not to mention the fact I would also need a part-time nanny, what's that going to cost? Plus, I would need more space and an extra bedroom... how much is that going to increase the rent?
When you get right down to it, 250K is NOT rich so anyone who thinks 72K is a lot is really not being truthful. It's somewhat comfortable for a single person. A family, not so much. The public schools are terrible so you can't tell me that is a realistic option. Obama is out of his frickin' mind lol, saying 250K is rich. The starting point should be at least 400K, and even that is upper-middle class.
I had a thought while I was out walking today. A lot of women, myself included, complain about men in this city being players. But maybe they've just figured it out, most of them. The vast majority of them will never make enough to support and raise a family so they just play the field? Do I have it right?
72K is a good amount of coin, even in NYC. Take it from someone who has lived there a good chunk of their life. You do realize that the median/average salary in NYC is less than that, right? You don't HAVE to live in Manhattan or some trendy exorbitantly high rent area to enjoy what NYC has to offer. You can get a two bedroom easily in a safe area outside of the high-rent areas as well. You don't have to send your kid to private schools either... I did just fine coming out of the NYC Public School system and so have thousands of others. I never knew a nanny was a requisite or a need. That's a lifestyle that you designed and that you feel is important. Not knocking you for it, because truthfully I don't need many things in my life that I have. But I'm just keepin' it real here. A family can do just fine on your salary. In the city. There are many families that do fine with less and they aren't living in the PJs.
Getting that out of the way, I can feel what you're saying, OP. I just think you need to not get so caught up in the all of "background noise" in your life and worrying about the future of growing old and childless. As cliched as it may sound, that person who you're really looking for may come when you least expect it. That's what happened to me, only I was in my mid-20s. I had a nice job and my life was together too, but after a few LTRs and other relationships that really weren't what I wanted, I had "pushed pause" and focused on other things. Then my husband came into my life. We met, we dated, we married, I moved to Texas. Ten years and two kids later, here I am. I've re-established myself here professionally. Not saying you'll have to relocate to Texas but the moral of the story is that you never know which direction your life takes you. There is a modicum of truth in that.
EastBound,weren't you gay a few years back during your harlemnewbie phase or shortly thereafter? I think I remember you mentioning that in some of your old posts.Maybe there is still some inner confusion that is creating problems with relationships.
Maybe you should think about exploring that possibility again.
By the way,congratulations on how you have evidently turned your life around in such a short time.
I somehow missed that you had returned to NYC.You were so miserable here the first time around I never thought you would return.
I wasn't aware that 72K is a lot of money, especially if you saw the hours I work to make it. Trust me, anyone can do it... it's not hard. I've come to the conclusion that unless I meet someone who makes at least several times what I do it just isn't going to happen for me (having a family). Not if I intend to keep my career anyway. It takes a LOT of money to raise even one child in the city. I looked at private schools. Anything even remotely decent would eat up half of my income right there. Not to mention the fact I would also need a part-time nanny, what's that going to cost? Plus, I would need more space and an extra bedroom... how much is that going to increase the rent?
When you get right down to it, 250K is NOT rich so anyone who thinks 72K is a lot is really not being truthful. It's somewhat comfortable for a single person living in an outer borough/nontrendy neighborhood. A family, not so much. The public schools are terrible so you can't tell me that is a realistic option. Obama is out of his frickin' mind lol, saying 250K is rich. The starting point should be at least 400K, and even that is upper-middle class. When I pay all of my bills at the end of the month and put away a very MODEST savings I am left with hardly anything. I will admit I am high maintenance (I need to be for my job) so my expenses in that area are a bit outside the norm.
I had a thought while I was out walking today. A lot of women, myself included, complain about men in this city being players. But maybe they've just figured it out, most of them. The vast majority of them will never make enough to support and raise a family so they just play the field? Do I have it right? I hate being in this position of having to decide whether to stay for my career or leave for a family. But unless a guy comes along as I've described above I just don't see how my dreams are remotely possible. The odds of me snagging a guy like that are next to impossible due to the overabundance of women in this town who think JUST like me. The pool of eligible men is very, very small.
I've said this before, and I'll say it again.
When people have BS, positions, they hide behind the children.
A guy making 250k, who you desire as primary marriage material, will have PLENTY of other GOLDDIGGING women after him. So unless a woman is the love of his life, his one true love, there is absolutely no reason to commit. There just isn't.
A guy with a more modest income, you and he might pool your resources together and maybe able to survive.
As for having children, there is absolutely no law that says they have to be in private schools. That's utter garbage. You aren't rich, you aren't hot, so you likely won't get a rich hot man who is going to send your child to a top private school and pay $30k a year in tuition.
You're calling the men players, but you have game of your own, golddigging. Why would a man want to marry a gold digging woman, have children with her, when she could leave and sue for alimony and child support? It sounds like you have nothing to offer them, so they aren't interested.
Offer men something real, and you'll get responses.
You and women like you deserve to be single, as all you want to do is TAKE the guys money and be almost parasitic, without any real contribution to the man's future or bottom line. Thank heavens these men see through these games and lies and pass you over the way you need to be passed over.
I'm sorry if this is harsh, but she has to find a man who's making almost 300k because her children have to go to private school? First of all, if its that important for your children go to private school why not make that money yourself, instead of trying to leech off some man? And if money is so important, maybe the guy making 250k decided he can do more with a woman who is also making somewhere around that, particularly if she's hot. Why would he settle for a woman who says she's unattractive, and who so far is not successful career wise? What's in it for him? Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.
EastBound,weren't you gay a few years back during your harlemnewbie phase or shortly thereafter? I think I remember you mentioning that in some of your old posts.Maybe there is still some inner confusion that is creating problems with relationships.
Maybe you should think about exploring that possibility again.
By the way,congratulations on how you have evidently turned your life around in such a short time.
I somehow missed that you had returned to NYC.You were so miserable here the first time around I never thought you would return.
I don't remember the gay part, but I do remember many other details that don't jibe with the new details. Something seems very trollish here. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's that the poster was only a few months ago complaining about low salaries for paralegal pay and living in the Midwest. And suddenly now living in Brooklyn, making 72K after taxes, which is more like 100K before taxes, saying she's beautiful and working for Gucci?
Well who knows, it's not impossible but the red flags are flying.
I don't remember the gay part, but I do remember many other details that don't jibe with the new details. Something seems very trollish here. Can't quite put my finger on it. Maybe it's that the poster was only a few months ago complaining about low salaries for paralegal pay and living in the Midwest. And suddenly now living in Brooklyn, making 72K after taxes, which is more like 100K before taxes, saying she's beautiful and working for Gucci?
Well who knows, it's not impossible but the red flags are flying.
Its either Red Flags or she was high when she posted. LOL
Actually, one red flag is she is overweight and getting old (she has said that in this thread), yet she expects to marry a man making 250k or more, despite her own lack of success, and her not to great looks. Either she's trolling or she lost her mind totally.
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