interracial dating question (educational, deal, place)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
a lot of the prince charmings are in such demand that
they can have a different girl every day of the week.
He is not Prince Charming if he has that type of mentality. That's a player. My Prince Charming is not the hot guy that looks good on paper. Obviously, there needs to be some sort of mutual physical attraction but I am looking for something a little more intimate. I know it sounds corny but I want love, respect and acceptance. Take a look at the video below.
There are a lot of nerves getting hit on this thread. Especially with some of the men that have responded. Why is it so hard to admit that there are women that are out some mens league? That's pretty much what's being said when these high achieving black women are not interested in black men who are not on their (education, career, income , etc) level and have to look to another pool of men to find compatible matches. In the same way, I doubt men would find much argument why a man that looks like Brad Pitt would be out of the league for a woman who looks like Roseanne Bar..
Men don't care for "high achieving" women. They aren't impressed by education, career, income, etc. In fact, those are probably turn offs. You are probably going to reply saying "that's just because they are intimidated by them"... well, there is a difference between being intimidated and not being attracted to.
Men (and most women) will always value looks the most.
Men don't care for "high achieving" women. They aren't impressed by education, career, income, etc. In fact, those are probably turn offs. You are probably going to reply saying "that's just because they are intimidated by them"... well, there is a difference between being intimidated and not being attracted to.
Men (and most women) will always value looks the most.
So true, i could not care less about a womans education, career etc. But good looks are insignificant in the long run if the core is rotten.
Last edited by Northwindsforever; 11-06-2013 at 04:14 PM..
There are a lot of nerves getting hit on this thread. Especially with some of the men that have responded. Why is it so hard to admit that there are women that are out some mens league? That's pretty much what's being said when these high achieving black women are not interested in black men who are not on their (education, career, income , etc) level and have to look to another pool of men to find compatible matches. In the same way, I doubt men would find much argument why a man that looks like Brad Pitt would be out of the league for a woman who looks like Roseanne Bar.
It's not saying that working class black man aren't good men. It's saying that they aren't good matches for black women with MBAs, JDs and other similar credentials and the jobs to match. And if you argue that they are, you need to stop fooling yourself. I know an example of a friend, who is a doctor, that dated one of the mail room guys at a law firm. The relationship was a train wreck. He would berate her, spit in her face, and do all sorts of things (short of hitting her, thank god) to make her feel inferior. Some men cannot handle it when their women are more successful and more accomplished than they are. Again, if you argue strongly against this point, you're fooling yourself.
The bolded above is just another generalization. You gave one example and that is supposed to be the rule of how poorer black men treat successful black women? Ok. By your logic, I'd do the same thing if I was with a successful woman. Moreover, I guess all of those cheating celebrities and other high status men make wonderful husbands due to their credentials, right?
In addition, unless you were referring to some other posters, my earlier post never inferred anything about black women not being "out of some men's league." My point was that we are all human; not flawless gods/goddesses. It's the notion that there are "leagues" that has many with their heads up their a**es and with a small pool of men/women from which to choose in the first place. A so-called "3" Asian wife can cheat on her "10" Hispanic celebrity husband. A "4" successful Black man with a "7" White wife can eventually file bankruptcy at one point during the marriage. A "5" White man can get bored with his "10" Indian wife. Bottom line: nobody is perfect. There's no 100% guarantee that you'll never run into financial (or other marital problems) being with a successful man anymore than being with one of working class status. A high job title is not synonymous with perfection.
This is a very emotional topic for me, because I know all people should be treated as individuals. I'm just a little frustrated that men are allowed to have their preferences, while women are ostracized if we express a particular preference.
Many of the upwardly mobile black guys in NYC (that I know) are not interested in dating black women who are darker than a brown paper bag. They may never admit this, but when you look at the women who they consistently pursue and date, it clearly shows their preferences. I do not begrudge them for their preferences but I will not waste time with these guys. Some people may respond by suggesting that black women such as myself, should try "expanding our circle," by dating: working class guys, older men, or men with children, but there's no reason for me to date "down" just to date a black guy, when there's an entire city full of upwardly mobile non black men.
I haven't completely given up on black guys. Just know that if a good one comes along who really values and respects me, I'll be happy to date and marry him, but I'm not holding my breath waiting.
Guys,
What is your take on this post? You are vilifying the OP for not dating working class black men but you never addressed this post. I think she is dead on. What do you think?
This is a very emotional topic for me, because I know all people should be treated as individuals. I'm just a little frustrated that men are allowed to have their preferences, while women are ostracized if we express a particular preference.
Many of the upwardly mobile black guys in NYC (that I know) are not interested in dating black women who are darker than a brown paper bag. They may never admit this, but when you look at the women who they consistently pursue and date, it clearly shows their preferences. I do not begrudge them for their preferences but I will not waste time with these guys. Some people may respond by suggesting that black women such as myself, should try "expanding our circle," by dating: working class guys, older men, or men with children, but there's no reason for me to date "down" just to date a black guy, when there's an entire city full of upwardly mobile non black men.
I haven't completely given up on black guys. Just know that if a good one comes along who really values and respects me, I'll be happy to date and marry him, but I'm not holding my breath waiting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodlife36
Guys,
What is your take on this post? You are vilifying the OP for not dating working class black men but you never addressed this post. I think she is dead on. What do you think?
Actually, I did respond to the top part of that response in post #368. The bolded part, yet again, proves my point of her elitist attitude, as if a "good man" is synonymous with income status/profession. Dating "down" is beneath her, despite how good the man may be. Let's hope her future husband never gets into a financial crisis because, as it seems from her writing, she'd probably leave him.
By the way, I hope you're not implying that I'm against her dating white men. If so, you must not have read my post where I asked why she couldn't date a white MTA worker who makes decent money. Look, she can date who she wants to date. I'm not trying to change her mind. I'm not vilifying her for not dating working class black men. I just take issue with people, such as the OP, who think others are "beneath" them. We all age, get sick and eventually die. We are, by no means, a perfect species. Know that life also happens to these "professional" men. I truly wonder how she would react if said guy ended up in a situation where she'd have to be the sole breadwinner.
The OP isn't wrong for having a preference. I think it seems as if she puts white men on a pedestal as if they're synonymous with being educated, stable, and successful; or as if they're a prize to be won, and one should feel privileged/special for being with one. Certainly there are plenty of successful men who happen to be white, but there are also a fair amount of average men who don't have their acts together, may be near/at poverty level, are in prison, have multiple kids with different women, etc. There's more to life outside of Corporate Manhattan and yuppified parts of Brooklyn. Interracial relationships can certainly consist of regular white men with regular black women, and vice versa, etc. I'm not anti-white by any means (and I happen to think Jude Law is attractive), but at the end of the day, they're all still men.
Men don't care for "high achieving" women. They aren't impressed by education, career, income, etc. In fact, those are probably turn offs. You are probably going to reply saying "that's just because they are intimidated by them"... well, there is a difference between being intimidated and not being attracted to.
Men (and most women) will always value looks the most.
Beauty and Brains are the winning combination. Why would you want your wife (and future mother of your children) to only be a pretty face?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
