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Old 08-13-2011, 02:10 PM
 
433 posts, read 1,124,145 times
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So next month I'll be going back to school to learn a new trade. I know there's alot of young people that go to this school, so hopefully I can make it work. I want to turn my lonely, boring life into a life more social, outgoing and fun.

I learned from my past mistakes and know to do better. I think it's better to start socializing and trying to make friends early on in the school year than later, that way people won't think of you as a loner/shy, awkward guy, etc. Am I right? Does first starting to talk to people later on in the school year when they were already there in your class all year make things confusing or complicated? That's what I think and I'm just going to open up this time from the beginning.

I want them to invite me places to hang out after school and/or on weekends. I'll be damn 20 years old and want to experience everything I've missed out on. I was picked on throughout highschool and made some mistakes the first time when I was learning another trade, so hopefully I get to do something. Movies, clubbing, drinking, partying, chilling out, experience nightlife. I feel so embarassed that I never got to do any of this with any friends by 20 years old. Maybe they can even help me get a girl.

Do you guys have any advice or opinions? Do I sound a bit self-centered saying I want these new people I meet to help give me all this?
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:23 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,382,004 times
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No-one can turn your life around but yourself.

However, I think it's good that you want to experience all those fun things that people SHOULD experience while they are in college. Be social, get yourself some new friends, but don't force it...otherwise you will come across as desperate. Join study groups and clubs. Don't forget that your first priority should still be learning and not partying. Don't have expectations from others, rely on yourself to enrich your social life.
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:35 PM
 
433 posts, read 1,124,145 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
No-one can turn your life around but yourself.

However, I think it's good that you want to experience all those fun things that people SHOULD experience while they are in college. Be social, get yourself some new friends, but don't force it...otherwise you will come across as desperate. Join study groups and clubs. Don't forget that your first priority should still be learning and not partying. Don't have expectations from others, rely on yourself to enrich your social life.
Yeah, I know I'm the one who should turn it around. What I mean is, I want people to help me out and sort of "guide" me. I'm not really sure how to explain it. Maybe I should come across as somewhat sociable on the first day?
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:39 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,382,004 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtlquebec102 View Post
Yeah, I know I'm the one who should turn it around. What I mean is, I want people to help me out and sort of "guide" me. I'm not really sure how to explain it. Maybe I should come across as somewhat sociable on the first day?
I think you should try to progress things naturally. If you see someone in a class that seems interesting, strike up a conversation. If there is a study group forming, ask if you can join. If you hear that someone is having a party, inquire if you could come too. Don't look for a "cool" group of kids and try to fit in, most likely you will feel out of place. Some of the closest friends of mine are the ones I've met in college. So it's not about the quantity of friends you make, but the quality.
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:41 PM
 
433 posts, read 1,124,145 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I think you should try to progress things naturally. If you see someone in a class that seems interesting, strike up a conversation. If there is a study group forming, ask if you can join. If you hear that someone is having a party, inquire if you could come too. Don't look for a "cool" group of kids and try to fit in, most likely you will feel out of place. Some of the closest friends of mine are the ones I've met in college. So it's not about the quantity of friends you make, but the quality.
Forgot to mention that this isn't a traditional college, it's a trade school.
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:43 PM
 
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So, are you actually 20 years old or an older "non-traditional student?"
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:44 PM
 
Location: earth?
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If you want a good friend, BE a good friend. Think about other people. Are you an interesting person?
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Old 08-13-2011, 02:46 PM
 
433 posts, read 1,124,145 times
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Originally Posted by poletop1 View Post
So, are you actually 20 years old or an older "non-traditional student?"
I will be 20 years old when I start school.
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Old 08-13-2011, 03:45 PM
 
2,596 posts, read 4,819,378 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtlquebec102 View Post
Yeah, I know I'm the one who should turn it around. What I mean is, I want people to help me out and sort of "guide" me. I'm not really sure how to explain it. Maybe I should come across as somewhat sociable on the first day?
Keep in mind that when people make friends, they are looking for someone who can add to their life--someone who is pleasant to be around and who will add to their enjoyment. So you should act friendly, observe how others are behaving and take note, etc.

I would avoid thinking of it as people to "help you out" or "sort of guide you" because that's not really why people make new friends. You want them to look at you like someone who could be pleasant and fun to hang around with, not someone they pity.

Take control of your own choices. In fact, it might be good to go hang out at a coffee shop or other social area and watch how people interact. You need to take an active role in figuring out what behaviors haven't worked out for you in the past and learning from others who are more successful so that you can mimic social behaviors that work in group settings.
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Old 08-13-2011, 03:46 PM
 
18,853 posts, read 31,642,668 times
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No one can "guide" you. Just be yoursellf. Don't expect too much, after all, no one has money to party any more. Mostly people just hang out at home, and play beer pong.
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