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Do any of you have "friends" that only seem to talk to you when they have some personal issue they want to vent on you about, are bored at home, or are between relationships at the moment and bail on you the moment things are better for them?
I have an acquaintance I've known 20 years that basically has that pattern and I finally had the last straw when she bailed on me again out of the blue because she met some guy. Not only was it rude, but she flat out lied about doing that to me again.
I bid her a kind farewell and wished her luck, and have no doubt that when something goes south with him, I'll hear from her again, but I've learned and won't bother with her again. I feel a bit used and like what we talked about really wasn't all that important to her.
Yes...many times...and all have been dismissed from my life. I don't have time for fair weather friends.
I finally learned to do that with this one. What a waste of my time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
Yes. I have a childhood friend, who talks only when its convenient for her, and when we do talk, its all about her.
Same here. I was very tentative about talking to this person again, as she never used to respond to anything that I said, only talking about herself. There was a 2 year gap where I didn't hear from her at all. She used to complain about her bad marriage, but after she got out of it, poof...gone, not even a "so long".
I fell for the trap though this time, because she did decide to be responsive and we had real 2-way interaction and it was nice. Well she did it to me again. She talked about her bad relationship with her latest guy, and as soon as she got out of it, she didn't seem to need me anymore. She did meet a new guy like a week later and told me her new BF didn't want her having a male friend so this was goodbye for good as she didn't wanna ruin things with him.
She did say "goodbye" this time but it was out of the blue and didn't acknowledge anything we'd talked in the last 2 decades we'd known each other. She knew alot of my family problems and issues and didn't even address those at least. Just goodbye and good luck in life. Whatever.
Made me feel very unimportant overall and a bit used. I can say one positive experience is that it opened my eyes a bit to myself and how I am. Thats good. I won't fall for it again from her. Especially since she made it clear she's a hypocrit and liar. That makes it easy. She promised she wouldn't do that to me again.
Its just sad that my last "friend" and last link to my past life outside of family is severed.
Yes. I have a childhood friend, who talks only when its convenient for her, and when we do talk, its all about her.
Sad to say, but it's usually the case with former childhood friends...it's a normal things, people are wayyy different at 40 than say at 10! and usually they drift apart!
Hmmm. For most of my friends, if I'm not hearing from them, I know they're just fiiiiine. And the same from me. My friends and I are often a sounding board for perspectives and useful for working through internal conflicts or difficult emotions. Usually we call each other for emotional support. 3 months can pass without talking and if we need to talk, we pick up right where we left off. There's no resentment.
What does annoy me, however, is my older sister who only calls if she wants something. "I've gotten a job selling [blah blah]. Would your SO be interested in buying some for his work?" OR "Can we borrow your tent for the weekend?"
Totally different from friends who call when they're in turmoil IMO. Obviously, I'm honored rather than insulted that my friends call me when they need emotional support. To me, that's friendship at its finest. It does go both ways.
Do any of you have "friends" that only seem to talk to you when they have some personal issue they want to vent on you about, are bored at home, or are between relationships at the moment and bail on you the moment things are better for them?
I have a friend who only wants to call or go out when her man goes out of town on business. When he's here, I never hear from her. She called me 2 weeks ago, wanting to go out and have drinks, but I politely chumped her off. Told her I had some things I needed to get done around my house. I could've went out with her, but now that I'm aware of this little pattern of hers, its very easy for me to say NO. She's actually a good friend of mine, and I have no desire to end the friendship with her over this, but I'm just not going to be at her beck and call anymore, whenever her man goes out of town, and she's sitting at home bored.
I've had girlfriends who have chumped me off, before, due to them becoming involved in relationships, and then come back running when those relationships end. I have ZERO tolerance for those types of friendships. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. I may let it happen once, but once I start seeing a pattern, I will distance myself from SAID girlfriend.
Do any of you have "friends" that only seem to talk to you when they have some personal issue they want to vent on you about, are bored at home, or are between relationships at the moment and bail on you the moment things are better for them?
Sadly, I have discovered that, as an adult, ALL of the "friendships" that I have made fall into this category. I have two TRUE friends, and both of those friendships are from my childhood.
For the most part, because of our busy day to day lives, most people really only put the time and effort into having a friendship if they hope to benefit from it in some way. At least, this has been my experience.
20yrsinBranson
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