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I was the Maid of Honor in a friend's wedding a month ago.
I've known her a couple of years and we had been very close, although I knew she can be a bit snippy and has some controlling tendencies, but I was actually quite surprised at how snappy and controlling she became leading up to her wedding last month.
I know I am not the only friend who is at their wits end with her, but now the wedding is over and I haven't seen her for several weeks which has given me time to take some deep breaths and let go of some of my irritation.
HOWEVER, this snapping seems to have become a habit and I will no longer put up with it. I let her get away with it coming up to the wedding because I didn't want her to have a full scale melt down, but it has to stop now and has already affected my feelings for her.
The only times I have seen her in the past several months have been either wedding related or if she wanted something from me. It has been extremely one sided for months.... which is probably to be expected up to a point, but I have definitely started to lose patience with it.
She has just asked me to hang out this week. I am wary. I don't want to get snapped at.
Would you just let go all the poor behavior in the past few months leadig up to the wedding? Give her a pass for wedding nerves?
My natural inclination is to bring it up and get it addressed and in the open, but if she's still as wound up as she has been I could imagine her blowing up.
I'm ponderig whether I am better off letting it go and starting fresh now but if she snaps now, address it, if not then let the past go?
I am living in hope that she might return somewhat to normal now, but there has been no hint of apology or any kind of acknowledgement since the wedding at all.
Oh forgot to add - she has adult ADHD and was off her meds for a while during the lead up to the wedding so that may have made it worse.
It really has been dreadful and I have wondered more than once whether there would be a friendship left after how she has acted.
I would meet up with her this weekend and speak to her about it. I'm thinking the stress of the wedding was setting her off but if she's still doing it now, then definately say something.
If you're not happy with her response, then maybe its time to step away. No need to have nasty people as your "friends"
Well I wouldn't take it to heart with the wedding and med withdrawal. I would hang out and see how she is now. And if she snips...I would just ask why she snipped. She may not even realize she is doing that. It could be she just needs a med adjustment or change. Being impulsive and blurting things out is just part of living with ADHD when its not under control.
ADHD is a joke. When our grandparents were growing up, they had a different term for kids with ADHD: brats! Instead of Ritalin, they got three or four licks with a sturdy oak paddle. Few kids went "unmedicated" back then which is why ADHD was a non-issue.
As for adults who blame their bratty behavior on ADHD? Even more pathetic. I would take it as a blessing that you haven't heard from this "friend" in weeks and come up with an excuse NOT to hang out with her, or even better, forget about an excuse and just tell her you're not interested.
ADHD is a joke. When our grandparents were growing up, they had a different term for kids with ADHD: brats! Instead of Ritalin, they got three or four licks with a sturdy oak paddle. Few kids went "unmedicated" back then which is why ADHD was a non-issue.
As for adults who blame their bratty behavior on ADHD? Even more pathetic. I would take it as a blessing that you haven't heard from this "friend" in weeks and come up with an excuse NOT to hang out with her, or even better, forget about an excuse and just tell her you're not interested.
ADHD is no joke. I will add that it does get over diagnosed though.
I don't think she's a nasty person - she can actually be very kind, warm, funny and thoughtful.
On the flip side she definitely has a bad temper, snaps easily and can have trouble empathizing with a differing view point.
Things have definitely changed for the worse - but who knows if it can change back again. I think she doesn't deal with stress well at all and she had a ton of problems come up in the couple of weeks before the wedding, but this has been going on longer than that.
Such a shame - I miss how things used to be. We'll see what happens if we go out this week. If things don't change than I'll have to reevaluate then.
I would meet up with her this weekend and speak to her about it. I'm thinking the stress of the wedding was setting her off but if she's still doing it now, then definately say something.
If you're not happy with her response, then maybe its time to step away. No need to have nasty people as your "friends"
I agree. Let everything leading up to her wedding go. But if she keeps doing it now, after the wedding, say something. She might be defensive and angry at first, but think about it later on her own. Don't let her first reaction make you break off the friendship. Give her a week or so to think it over then ask her to hang out again and give her another chance. If she's a b*tch: bye bye!
ADHD is a joke. When our grandparents were growing up, they had a different term for kids with ADHD: brats! Instead of Ritalin, they got three or four licks with a sturdy oak paddle. Few kids went "unmedicated" back then which is why ADHD was a non-issue.
As for adults who blame their bratty behavior on ADHD? Even more pathetic. I would take it as a blessing that you haven't heard from this "friend" in weeks and come up with an excuse NOT to hang out with her, or even better, forget about an excuse and just tell her you're not interested.
Your entire advice is based on your disbelief of ADHD? Wow, you're really helpful.
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