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Old 01-16-2013, 02:12 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
27,339 posts, read 14,817,979 times
Reputation: 10858

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My friend and I have known each other for 15 years. She went through a painful divorce. Long story short, her ex husband is a douchebag.
I just found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping with our other friend's husband and she claims their marriage is long over. That is why her behavior is totally justified

well, I don't know how I feel about this. I truely values our relationship but I have to say that I don't judge my friend because I thought about cheating myself (I thought about it a lot lately but I will not act on it)

I am not very sure that if I can face my other friend (knowing what her husband has been cheating behind her back)

what would you do if you are in my situation.
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Greater LA area
12,907 posts, read 8,915,902 times
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I would say stay out of it. None of your business.
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:09 PM
 
13,120 posts, read 12,537,599 times
Reputation: 10718
your friend has put you in a bad position. I would not be comfortable either. could the wife know and not care? I would want someone to tell me and I would if I had real proof they were sleeping together I would find a way to tell the wife even if I had to do so anonymously. no one likes to be made a fool of.
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:14 PM
 
4,636 posts, read 3,809,681 times
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Well, one way to look at it is if she would do this to one friend she would do it to you.
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:17 PM
 
Location: North Fulton
1,039 posts, read 1,781,608 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgianbelle View Post
Well, one way to look at it is if she would do this to one friend she would do it to you.
Points well taken. I would stay out of her problems as much as possible and distance yourself from her for a while. I would not want a friend like this and in time would make contact less and less frequent.

The issue of genuine trust of her has been thrown out the window, don't you think?
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:19 PM
 
4,636 posts, read 3,809,681 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by berkeleylake View Post
Points well taken. I would stay out of her problems as much as possible and distance yourself from her. I would not want a friend like this. The issue of genuine trust of her has been thrown out the window, don't you think?
Yes, friends do not do this kind of thing to each other. I would not trust her and wouldn't want to be around her.
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, TX
1,476 posts, read 1,302,368 times
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Default Depends

If they are both close friends I would tell her she is foul and she better tell the other friend or I will because I cannot keep my mouth closed, knowing ish is going on.

If they aren't close friends then none of my business

If the one that is cheating is a close friend I would tell her she is foul and she needed to either stop or confess

But I would distance myself from the cheating friend
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:31 PM
 
201 posts, read 176,304 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
My friend and I have known each other for 15 years. She went through a painful divorce. Long story short, her ex husband is a douchebag.
I just found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping with our other friend's husband and she claims their marriage is long over. That is why her behavior is totally justified

well, I don't know how I feel about this. I truely values our relationship but I have to say that I don't judge my friend because I thought about cheating myself (I thought about it a lot lately but I will not act on it)

I am not very sure that if I can face my other friend (knowing what her husband has been cheating behind her back)

what would you do if you are in my situation.
First, end the friendship with the cheater. This woman is selfish and until she learns that life is not about serving her own needs but the needs of others she will never be a good friend. Second, tell your other friend about the cheating, she has a right to know and it's your duty as her friend and as someone who loves and cares about her to let her know when she is being threatened. Being a true friend means making the hard decisions.
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:45 PM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
11,677 posts, read 12,837,428 times
Reputation: 17069
you don't the cheater type as your friend.
Don't tell the other friend because the messemger is always the bad guy. Trust me--been there,done that. Never again.

I would distance myself from all for now. No need to give any reason.......
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Old 01-16-2013, 03:56 PM
 
201 posts, read 176,304 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PippySkiddles View Post
Don't tell the other friend because the messemger is always the bad guy.
Perhaps an anonymous letter would do the trick.
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