How much do other people's opinions of you really matter (male, guilty)
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See that 25%er up there? That's me! That's because I do care what people think to a reasonable degree (It's unreasonable to say 0, THAT'S RIGHT!), but my single vote on what I'm doing with my life still overrules everyone else's.
I agree. There are times when constructive feedback is useful. For example, if I've inadvertently offended someone, I'd want to know. But, for the most part, what I think of me takes precedence over what others think of me.
I think these results are heavily skewed and inaccurate. Just check out endless (TRULY endless) threads here, "I have to spend holidays with my in-laws and I hate it." None of these people have the balls to just tell these old fools to go to hell. Yet all of the sudden in a poll, everyone professes to not give a damn about other peoples opinions.
80% of the threads here disprove this eloquently. Constant threads revolve around:
People might find out I'm a 22 year old virgin. What do I do? HELP!
Someone at work doesn't like me, I'm suicidal, what do I do?
My girlfriend's mom thinks I'm a creep, I'm desperate for her approval....
I said 10% because the fact that some busybodies are so devoid of a life that they would even have an opinion about me in the first place matters enough to irritate me.
It all depends on how I view that person myself. For example, if a person that I know to be a very wise, discerning and intelligent person thinks that something I'm either doing or thinking of doing is foolish it has a great deal of weight with me. To not regard wise council is the height of foolishness. On the other hand if a fool has some opinion of me either good or bad I give that opinion very little weight at all. Looking back over my life I can tell you that all of the bad positions that I have ended up in were the result of not listening to and regarding wise council.
I think these results are heavily skewed and inaccurate. Just check out endless (TRULY endless) threads here, "I have to spend holidays with my in-laws and I hate it." None of these people have the balls to just tell these old fools to go to hell. Yet all of the sudden in a poll, everyone professes to not give a damn about other peoples opinions.
80% of the threads here disprove this eloquently. Constant threads revolve around:
People might find out I'm a 22 year old virgin. What do I do? HELP!
Someone at work doesn't like me, I'm suicidal, what do I do?
My girlfriend's mom thinks I'm a creep, I'm desperate for her approval....
Etc.
Yep! But also, part of the reason people are defensive about this question is that they add too much to it. No one asked them, "How much do you let other people's opinions of you CONTROL you?". But it seems to be the consensus that the two questions are one and the same. With so many examples of people WORRYING about what others think, people forget there's a happy medium between surrendering control and carelessness.
And I do believe there's a subconscious and unconscious mind. To assume you know everything there is to know about your own motives is conceited, IMO.
How much weight do other people's opinions on your life and lifestyle choices carry? For example: You are a women and your female friend you grew up with is a heroin addict. She was known by everyone as the neighborhood 'junkie hooker.' You two are walking down the street together, people know who she -- how much do you care what they are saying about you? Another example: You are a straight, single man & one of your coworkers who is male & gay invites you out for drinks after work to discuss 'business.' You're seen in a bar having drinks with him by some of your family members and other friends who know he is gay.....do you care?
Everyone likes to say "Oh I don't give a crap what people think about me," but how true is this . Do you beleive "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together" is accurate? Thanks.
0 to 10% for most peoples' opinions, however, could go as high as 60% for close relatives such as parents.
Generally, I will go out with anybody whose company I enjoy. It is my life.
I meant to vote 25% but accidentally hit 10% instead. I can't claim 0%; I just don't think that's realistic. In the two examples given in the OP, no, those cases wouldn't matter to me. If not 0% then close to it. But if I truly didn't care what others thought about me, I'd say exactly what was on my mind all the time (I don't), I'd approach every attractive woman I ever see, no matter how little it seems she wants to be approached (I don't), I'd gladly jump right into arguments about religion or politics in situations where it's not appropriate (I don't), and in truth, I'd probably never have any friends and my family would no longer speak to me. So yeah, the opinions of others do matter to me, just not in every way.
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. Do you beleive "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together" is accurate? Thanks.
I can't claim 0%; I just don't think that's realistic. In the two examples given in the OP, no, those cases wouldn't matter to me. If not 0% then close to it. But if I truly didn't care what others thought about me, I'd say exactly what was on my mind all the time (I don't), I'd approach every attractive woman I ever see, no matter how little it seems she wants to be approached (I don't), I'd gladly jump right into arguments about religion or politics in situations where it's not appropriate (I don't), and in truth, I'd probably never have any friends and my family would no longer speak to me. So yeah, the opinions of others do matter to me, just not in every way.
