How much do other people's opinions of you really matter (wife, father) - Issues with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances - City-Data Forum

Doll Eyes · 12-21-2011, 01:12 PM

How much weight do other people's opinions on your life and lifestyle choices carry? For example: You are a women and your female friend you grew up with is a heroin addict. She was known by everyone as the neighborhood 'junkie hooker.' You two are walking down the street together, people know who she -- how much do you care what they are saying about you? Another example: You are a straight, single man & one of your coworkers who is male & gay invites you out for drinks after work to discuss 'business.' You're seen in a bar having drinks with him by some of your family members and other friends who know he is gay.....do you care?

Everyone likes to say "Oh I don't give a crap what people think about me," but how true is this

. Do you beleive "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together" is accurate? Thanks.

Doll Eyes · 12-21-2011, 01:15 PM

How much weight do other people's opinions on your life and lifestyle choices carry? For example: You are a women and your female friend you grew up with is a heroin addict. She was known by everyone as the neighborhood 'junkie hooker.' You two are walking down the street together, people know who she -- how much do you care what they are saying about you? Another example: You are a straight, single man & one of your coworkers who is male & gay invites you out for drinks after work to discuss 'business.' You're seen in a bar having drinks with him by some of your family members and other friends who know he is gay.....do you care?

Everyone likes to say "Oh I don't give a crap what people think about me," but how true is this

. Do you beleive "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together" is accurate? Do you make different choices in your life b/c of what you think others will say? Thanks.

Aganusn · 12-21-2011, 01:18 PM

No, that is just ignorance. By this logic, every individual is what some idiot thinks of them because they may apply negative stereotypes to every group. So because I'm American, a European calling me fat and lazy would matter. It doesn't.

Doll Eyes · 12-21-2011, 01:19 PM

Where the heck is my poll!?

edit: I fixed it

dynimagelv · 12-21-2011, 01:20 PM

they matter ZERO -0- ZILCH NIL NICHT NADA....

Not a whole lot....

Thru the many many years I have had many friends that were of....less then stellar reputations.... They were still friends and some still are.... My reputation has remained intact....

.....

Vic 2.0 · 12-21-2011, 01:21 PM

Sooo many people who say "I don't care what people think!" do more self-promoting than those who don't.

In the first example, I wouldn't care all that much. What most people think won't amount to anything; and if someone at my job accuses me of being a druggie, a simple drug test will prove them wrong.

In the second, I probably wouldn't go in the first place (I'd think he was really asking me OUT, no matter what he said). But if I found myself in the bar and yada yada yada, I wouldn't worry about what they said.

I'd CARE, but I wouldn't worry. That's a distinction most people don't make when they say "I don't care what other people think about me". They do care, just not too much.

addicted2helping · 12-21-2011, 01:31 PM

The older I get, the less,it matters, but I am a,people pleaser, an avoider of conflict, so I am bound to make decisions based on the need to "not offend" or not hurt feelings.

Raena77 · 12-21-2011, 01:37 PM

Um I wouldn't be friends with heroin addiction. And I don't mind gay males. They are not into me. Lol

And to answer you it depends. We all have in securities.

Vic 2.0 · 12-21-2011, 06:52 PM

See that 25%er up there? That's me! That's because I do care what people think to a reasonable degree (It's unreasonable to say 0, THAT'S RIGHT!), but my single vote on what I'm doing with my life still overrules everyone else's.

Percentage · 12-21-2011, 06:55 PM

No i do not weigh the opinions of other people when making life decisions and those that know me in the real world can attest to it. As far as i can remember, i've always been this way. Right from my teenage days when, in spite hanging out with the "older guys" i refused to smoke & drink; which was the in thing to do back then. There is a handful of people capable of influencing my decisions or reaction to any situation and that list includes my mother, wife, and father. The list will expand when my child gets older but outside of immediate family....please...who gives a damn if they think i'm gay for hanging out with a homosexual male? or that I was spotted with a heroin addict...people will always find something to talk about..so why allow their opinion to limit your movement?