How much do other people's opinions of you really matter

[srjth]

It depends on the person. The more I like you and respect you, the more I will want your approval. The less I like you and respect you, the less I'll want your approval. Depending on the person, how I come off can range from completely disconnected, cold and aloof to neurotically clingy, needy and pleasing.

[gvillesux]

other than my wife, what someone thinks of me is inconsequential.

[PassTheChocolate]

Originally Posted by Doll Eyes

How much weight do other people's opinions on your life and lifestyle choices carry? For example: You are a women and your female friend you grew up with is a heroin addict. She was known by everyone as the neighborhood 'junkie hooker.' You two are walking down the street together, people know who she -- how much do you care what they are saying about you? Another example: You are a straight, single man & one of your coworkers who is male & gay invites you out for drinks after work to discuss 'business.' You're seen in a bar having drinks with him by some of your family members and other friends who know he is gay.....do you care?

Everyone likes to say "Oh I don't give a crap what people think about me," but how true is this . Do you beleive "guilty by association" or "birds of a feather flock together" is accurate? Thanks.

I used to think that the actions of those I spent time with didn't matter. As long as I wasn't doing what they were doing and I knew who I was, so phooey on what anyone else had to say. That was back when I wanted to be accepting of everyone because, in my mind, it would seem like I was judgmental and being judgmental was wrong, wrong, wrong. Then I grew up. I judge and I have no problem owning that.

I will never hang out with a heroin addict. I would expect people to think poorly of me if I did. I would think poorly of myself.

On your second example, I wouldn't care. Being gay is not in the same universe as being a drug addict. Being gay is not a bad thing. I know it's tougher for guys than gals, but a secure man would know that being gay doesn't mean they all want him. He would have nothing to prove or defend.

Yes, it matters to me, to some degree. It all depends on the situation and who is involved.

[crisan]

Originally Posted by Yzette

I said 10% because the fact that some busybodies are so devoid of a life that they would even have an opinion about me in the first place matters enough to irritate me.

And then I move on.

I was going to say 0% but then I couldn't ignore this nagging feeling that was not completely true. You said it for me.

OP, the people around can have opinions about my choices and then they can do something about it for themselves after that. That being said, I wouldn't hang out with a drug addict.

[Coolhand68]

I wouldn't say it doesn't matter to me at all. When it comes to work or my children it's very important what people think of me and how I am perceived. That's why there aren't any drunken half-naked pics of me on my FB page, it's why I would never get sloppy drunk in front of my kids, or why I don't talk about some of my crazy friends or wilder days down in NY while I'm at work around casual acquaintances. I need my job and I don't need someone forming a false or negative opinion of me because of an indiscreet action or word on my part.

That doesn't mean I compromise who I am. I just make some prudent adjustments where necessary.

[Capt. Dan]

Other than on my job performance evaluations and my being a good example to my grandkids, it matters not 1 iota what people may think of me. And since I'm a Captain, not too many folks are going to evaluate me at work.

[Whyte Byrd]

Apparently more than I thought. (See my post 'Serious/Introverted People')

[mn311601]

Not one tiny microscopic itsy bitsy damn bit.

[RiippaKiwi]

I do not care what people think about me.