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Old 01-02-2012, 12:59 AM
 
1,410 posts, read 1,807,928 times
Reputation: 1157

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Quote:
Originally Posted by calicali01 View Post
I can understand where the OP is coming from. I had a culture shock when I moved to the East Coast.

In the East Coast there is a thick level of serious in the air and people CAN be cold and rude to you through no fault of your own. Then if you try and press the issue they only get agitated and think something is wrong with you.

People who never traveled, or lived outside of their city of birth just have a hard time understanding.
So true. BTDT.
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Old 01-02-2012, 04:28 AM
 
511 posts, read 2,076,812 times
Reputation: 632
Good advice but I strongly believe people should be honest and tell me why they are pissed at me so we can move forward. Why should society let these people be so inpolite and passive aggressive towards me?
I am leaning towards just asking them and not walk away until I get a straight answer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by temazepam View Post
Great thread! If I had a nickel for every time this has happened to me! I wish I knew what to do about it. My first instinct is to just act all cold back, and think "**** you too", but that keeps the tension in the air and stresses me. I've also tried just going up to them and asking, "What is your deal?!" I wouldn't recommend that, though, because I never get a straight answer, just them telling me "You're crazy!", not a denial, not an affirmation, not an explanation and certainly not an apology like I'd hoped for, so it just makes the situation worse.
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Old 01-02-2012, 05:04 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,119,644 times
Reputation: 26518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Workaholic? View Post
Good advice but I strongly believe people should be honest and tell me why they are pissed at me so we can move forward. Why should society let these people be so inpolite and passive aggressive towards me?
I am leaning towards just asking them and not walk away until I get a straight answer.
I strongly believe people should take hints and not obsess about being cold-shouldered to the degree of actually contemplating a combative stance.

With all due respect, you're really not listening much to anyone who's bothered to respond so I'd suggest you just do what you feel like doing and see what happens. I doubt you'll either be winning friends or influencing people Carnegie-style but you might get an honest answer along with a punch in the nose if you push hard enough. Good luck.
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Old 01-02-2012, 07:49 AM
 
Location: 39 20' 59"N / 75 30' 53"W
16,085 posts, read 23,795,930 times
Reputation: 17982
Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
Yes, maybe but I do remember having the same thoughts. Now that I read these kinds of posts from this point-of-view, it reminds me of how selfish I used to be, even though at the time, I didn't think I was selfish.

Makes me wonder if there are selfish ways left that I am unaware of.
Repetative threads under a new guise, tweeked and worded slightly different for the OP entertainment. But if it helps you in some way, how can I agrue that.
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Old 01-02-2012, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,581 posts, read 54,188,638 times
Reputation: 65726
It sounds to me as if the OP is ANNOYING in some way. I have been friendly to people and then found out that they hook onto you like a leech and have this need to tell you every detail about their life but have no interest whatsoever in anyone else. After that, I do whatever I can to avoid getting into more boring, one-sided conversations with that person.
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Old 01-02-2012, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Earth
24,639 posts, read 24,759,886 times
Reputation: 11318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Workaholic? View Post
Good advice but I strongly believe people should be honest and tell me why they are pissed at me so we can move forward. Why should society let these people be so inpolite and passive aggressive towards me?
I am leaning towards just asking them and not walk away until I get a straight answer.
Perhaps they think that you're not worth moving forward with.
I wouldn't answer you and I'd probably tell you to get the f out of my face.
If you're that annoying, perhaps others don't want to be around you.
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Old 01-02-2012, 10:48 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,587,988 times
Reputation: 45995
If they suddenly turn away from you, it's for one of a small number of reasons:

1) You said something to offend them.
2) You did something to offend them.
3) Someone else said you did/said something that offended them.

There you go. You don't strike me as an introspective kind of guy, so I'd really offer that you should search your heart to find out how your relationship went south. If that doesn't work, have a conversation with a trusted mutual friend. As a last resort, go to them and ask.
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Old 01-02-2012, 11:04 AM
 
Location: MN- Soon the South!
42 posts, read 74,083 times
Reputation: 53
You must be living in Minnesota.
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Old 01-02-2012, 11:14 AM
 
663 posts, read 937,971 times
Reputation: 940
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
It sounds to me as if the OP is ANNOYING in some way. I have been friendly to people and then found out that they hook onto you like a leech and have this need to tell you every detail about their life but have no interest whatsoever in anyone else. After that, I do whatever I can to avoid getting into more boring, one-sided conversations with that person.
This is for sure. I have a co-worker like this. She literally tells everyone around her (at least at work, would have to assume in other places too), all of the boring and sometimes TMI details of her life. A couple weeks ago she just had to let me know she hadn't had sex in over a year . Thing is, we aren't really friends (in my mind) but do work in fairly close proximity. If one of my actual friends told me this, we'd have a conversation about it or whatever. It isn't something I can imagine talking about with a work acquaintance. She stops by my desk daily and conveys info about her life but never bothers to ask me or anyone else about theirs. She's even admitted she's aware of this but blames it on her parents treating her as a princess while growing up .

I think she's harmless and I don't mind her in smaller doses (have had worse co-workers than her), but the one-sided stuff gets old quick.
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Old 01-02-2012, 07:34 PM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,499,575 times
Reputation: 1950
Quote:
Originally Posted by virgode View Post
Repetative threads under a new guise, tweeked and worded slightly different for the OP entertainment. But if it helps you in some way, how can I agrue that.
Even if it didn't help, I don't see the harm.
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