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It's hard when you have overprotective parents. I've got kids almost your age, and have not lived within 250 miles of my dad in almost 30 years, and he is still overprotective of me. I just try and ignore it as much as possible.
I would not give him the landlady's number. If you can't just honestly tell him that you do not want him calling you there, I would tell him due to international calling plans etc, that it is too expensive for her to receive calls from the States.
Have you considered using Skype, or something like it to communicate with him? When my youngest spent a semester in Germany at 19, we used it to communicate a couple of times a week. He was living with a local family who took in boarders and they did not speak English. I didn't have a contact number for them, but even if I did, we couldn't have communicated. Our son purchased a phone there, but could not use it to call the US, only for local calls. If there had been a true emergency, I would have had to contact the US university he was enrolled in here, then they would have had to contact their people in Germany, who would have to contact our son. Skype was great because we could actually see each other and it was free. Being able to actually see you, might help your dad feel more at ease. He can see where you live, and realize that you are not living in a dump somewhere, starving to death. Sometimes parents just want to see their kids faces. I was actually glad we had it because while my son was abroad he was involved in a very bad bike accident, and ended up in an emergency room with a broken nose, and some really severe facial injuries. Because of Skype, I was able to see exactly how he was doing and healing. It helped my imagination not get carried away.
If you use Skype, I would set some boundaries with your dad. Agree to have your computer turned on at a certain time on a specified day, so that you can receive his calls. Explain to him that otherwise, you will not know he's trying to contact you. Then, even if you are sitting at your computer and he tries to contact you and you don't want to talk, you don't have to answer. He won't know that you're sitting right there, unlike with a cell phone you will always have on and with you.
Yes I like the Skype idea a lot, I was mentioning that. The only way he would see me online if I was logged in onto my Skype account anyways. It solves a lot of problems.
Oh and even if I did give my dad the landlady's number he can communicate with her (he speaks portuguese) lol but I think it is unnecessary for him to have her number)
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61
I m sorry but as a parent I would not be comfortable not having emergency numbers for my children in foreign countries . Do you folks on here ever read the news ?, watch the news ? do you see how many people dissapear in foreign countries and their familys never see them again ? Oh no Im saying that your dad has every right to worry and to want emergency numbers especially in a country like brazil since that man who was married to a brazilian citizen and she took their son to brazil and when she died the grandparents and the step father tried to keep him away from his american father . My goodness i would be frantic if I did not have emergency numbers for my children in the united states much less foreign countries . Sorry but Im on your dads side on this one .
But I will give him my cell phone number and the school where I'll be working..it's not like I am not giving him anything.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
How many phone numbers for you does he need? One should be enough, two, max (in case you lose your cell phone). Dad needs to realize you're an adult now, and independent. Dad needs to back off a little. American parents seem to have a really hard time adjusting to their kids' transition to adulthood compared to many other nationalities, I've noticed. Dad also may be a bit of a control freak, it's hard to know for sure from this post. In any case, it's time for him to realize you've grown up, have left the nest, and can take care of yourself.
Calling twice a week? Why?
Yeah doesn't twice a week seem a lot? lol he loves to call me. I guess he is afraid of me being independent. He is a control freak actually, likes to take credit for living my life it is quite annoying....
I don't think he's being overprotective; you're traveling far away and he's concerned.
To this day, when I visit friends or go on vacation, my mom asks for the phone number of the person or hotel where I'm staying. When I remind her that she has my mobile number, she says "But what if something happens to you and you can't answer your phone? Who will I call?" Typical mom. What are you going to do?
I wonder if you would rather have an alcoholic parent who used to beat the crap out of you just for not picking up a sock off the floor instead of the great sounding dad you seem to have ? Man what I would not give for my dad to call me twice a week . Jeeze count your blessings . I dont have folks who care and that has always hurt me .. Im glad I was a better parent to my kids than I ever got .. count your blessings ..
I can remember, when I was young, my father calling "to see how I was". Once in a while, it was nice..., more often than not, I'd be annoyed as heck, because either he'd be grumping about something in someone else's life, questioning me about mine and/or giving me advice (ummm telling me how to live my life "from an youngster's viewpoint") It took me quite a few years to realize that he was just being a loving father. He's been gone for 18 years now. I have a mother who doesn't call...never really liked to take the time away from busy work. In the 18 years since he's been gone, I've had about 6 phone calls from a parent. We have a tendency to not miss something/someone until it/they're gone.
OP, be honest with your dad, okay? If he's doing things that really bug you, please just come out and tell him. Let's face it, he could be gone tomorrow and you know what?...you really are lucky to have a father who cares enough to pick up the phone. At least he's not just grateful that you're grown and out of his life.
Twice a week?? Twice a week is nothing! You can't speak to your dad twice a week to let him know you're okay? So what if he bugs you or gives you unasked for advice. He's your dad and overbearing or not, he seems to love you and care for your well being. Sheesh.
Yes I like the Skype idea a lot, I was mentioning that. The only way he would see me online if I was logged in onto my Skype account anyways. It solves a lot of problems.
Oh and even if I did give my dad the landlady's number he can communicate with her (he speaks portuguese) lol but I think it is unnecessary for him to have her number)
But I will give him my cell phone number and the school where I'll be working..it's not like I am not giving him anything.
Yeah doesn't twice a week seem a lot? lol he loves to call me. I guess he is afraid of me being independent. He is a control freak actually, likes to take credit for living my life it is quite annoying....
We have a tendency to not miss something/someone until it/they're gone.
OP, be honest with your dad, okay? If he's doing things that really bug you, please just come out and tell him. Let's face it, he could be gone tomorrow and you know what?...you really are lucky to have a father who cares enough to pick up the phone. At least he's not just grateful that you're grown and out of his life.
I m sorry but as a parent I would not be comfortable not having emergency numbers for my children in foreign countries . Do you folks on here ever read the news ?, watch the news ? do you see how many people dissapear in foreign countries and their familys never see them again ? Oh no Im saying that your dad has every right to worry and to want emergency numbers especially in a country like brazil since that man who was married to a brazilian citizen and she took their son to brazil and when she died the grandparents and the step father tried to keep him away from his american father . My goodness i would be frantic if I did not have emergency numbers for my children in the united states much less foreign countries . Sorry but Im on your dads side on this one .
I've been living abroad on and off for the past 38 years.
My mother rarely had my number. Everything was just fine.
She had my address and there is/was nothing that critical that I couldn't be reached within a week or so.
What could I do anyway, run home?
Heck, people have my email address, I still don't give my European phone number out.
My mother chose to treat me as an adult and let me set my own boundaries.
Sounds like you're a worry wart, phonelady.
If you were my parent, I'd never give you my numbers.
I'd be afraid you'd call my work or complain to my boss about my performance rating.
BTW, more violence and disappearances happen within the US than with US citizens abroad.
The OPs father smothered her before and she's entitled to set her own boundaries.
She's a adult living on her own.
She's old enough and mature enough to make her own choices.
Ideally, isn't that what parenting is for.
I wonder if you would rather have an alcoholic parent who used to beat the crap out of you just for not picking up a sock off the floor instead of the great sounding dad you seem to have ? Man what I would not give for my dad to call me twice a week . Jeeze count your blessings . I dont have folks who care and that has always hurt me .. Im glad I was a better parent to my kids than I ever got .. count your blessings ..
Wow, how rude of you.
It's only one or the other?
Did you raise your kids on a diet of "I could have been an alcoholic parent who beat you so you better be grateful and let me control your lives..."
Are you really trying to put your personal unhappiness and guilt on the OP?
Really?
Just wow.
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What are you going to do?
Helicopter parents drive me crazy
