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Location: Northern Ireland and temporarily England
7,668 posts, read 5,262,503 times
Reputation: 1392
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I have a social condition that does not inhibit me physically, the condition is invisible so I can hide it if I wanted to. I was diagnosed 2 years ago so VERY late. People just assumed that I was just shy, typically I was told that I would "grow out of it". Without my permission my mother went behind my back to tell family members, she thought it would help them understand some things.
To be honest there aren't really any issues with me, it's more I just don't talk around people I am not comfortable with. The problem is that a couple of people have now misinterpreted me and have stopped talking and started acting weird towards me.
It makes it incredibly uncomfortable for me because I know they do mean good and I feel like I can't say anything to them. My aunt, for example, doesn't take me seriously and would talk to me like I am a child which is obviously difficult to take. Other people just stopped talking to me because they didn't know how to approach it.
It's kind of annoying when I want to make the effort to talk to people and they just act weird and stumble around. Honestly, it's all such a stress and toll for me, I have to take everyday as it comes or else i'd explode. I just wish people would stop assuming I was mentally ill and incapable of taking care of myself and just understood that I have a social condition. I definitely do find it hard to socialise with some people but alot of people, I am not saying I don't have some problems.
It's just hurtful when I say post a status, for example, (nothing big) and no one acknowledges it because they are ***** footing around me. I was advised by alot of people to inform others about the condition that I have but honestly it has just had a detrimental effect on me personally.
This is all very difficult to push through. You would think by telling people they would become more understanding but for me it's just resulted in people avoiding me.
If people would take me seriously maybe I wouldn't be so bad. It's hard to have confidence when you are treated like you are mentally ill and incapable of taking care of yourself.
Last edited by Sickandtiredofthis; 08-03-2015 at 06:38 PM..
Location: Northern Ireland and temporarily England
7,668 posts, read 5,262,503 times
Reputation: 1392
Yes I have been diagnosed with a social condition, what I am saying is that the condition does not prohibit me from living a normal life aside from obviously socialising.
I don't want to go into the actual diagnosis, people have been known to misinterpet it in the past.
Why do you not feel like you can tell us about the condition, on here? It's not like we know you personally. I would not try to judge you and I'm sure others on here wouldn't either. Or maybe you can go on other forums with people who have the same condition as you? I'm sorry your family has judged you, by the way.
I have ADD - it's pretty severe and it has all sorts of "add on" side effects that it was very socially crippling. If I'm having an "off" day, I just drop it into the conversation that I have it and make a joke about it and then move on. It seems to let people know that it's not "them" that I'm reacting to. It caused me a lot of difficulties for the first 3 decades of my life and I was almost a social recluse due to the anxiety and OCD issues relating to social interactions - all of which are actually symptoms of the ADD.
My roommate has myriad physical handicaps, and she's pretty open about what they are. It's not a bid for sympathy - it's just a way to defuse the discomfort of others.
Bring it out in the open, joke about it, and put people at ease. If people think you're sensitive about it, they're going to be more uncomfortable around you.
I mean you could make the argument that it's not your job to put people at ease and let them know what's up with you, but personally, I've found that it's made my life easier and made social situations move more smoothly.
And frankly, the ADD is one of the things that makes me good at my job - my bosses are happy to accommodate the wrinkles it can sometimes cause because in other ways it helps me do a job that one of my coworkers once described as "something no one else wants to do and something no one else CAN do." I view it as my superpower rather than a disability now that I know what's wrong.
I have a social condition that does not inhibit me physically, the condition is invisible so I can hide it if I wanted to. I was diagnosed 2 years ago so VERY late. People just assumed that I was just shy, typically I was told that I would "grow out of it". Without my permission my mother went behind my back to tell family members, she thought it would help them understand some things.
To be honest there aren't really any issues with me, it's more I just don't talk around people I am not comfortable with.
Obviously, you were not able to hide it if your mother felt that she needed to explain to the relatives why you were acting the way that you were acting. And, there must be some issues if people notice it and were aware of it.
I am not sure how old you are. As a parent, we kept the medical conditions of our minor children private, unless it was something that others need to know (allergies, etc).
After our children became adults, they did not always share their medical conditions with us.
If you were 18 when this was diagnosed then, IMHO, your mother was wrong to share this information with others. However, I bet that she thought that she was doing what she thought was in your best interest.
I'm sorry that people are 'acting weird' around you, as you have described. I'm guessing that a lot of people (especially the older generation, like your Aunt) are still ignorant about these things and don't understand or know what to say to you about it.
They shouldn't be acting weird to you though - you are still the same person you've always been! So see it as their problem and not your's.
It's also good that you can see the positive in your ADD by calling it your superpower! And being good at your job is something to be proud of.
Take care and remember that you are a person first and not a condition.
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