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What happened to "good morning," "good afternoon," or a simple hello? Everywhere I go in public the canned greeting is "how are you?" Of course the standard response is fine or great. But how many of us are fine or great all the time? Most of us are frustrated, angry, scared and irritated.
So when I am asked "how are you?" I decided to be different and reply: "Not so good" or angry, frustrated, scared or irritated. Only once in a while will the person at the store or service provider get the joke and respond to my comments or express their interest or concern. Usually they look at me funny and write me off as a nut. (They are problem right!) Then when they don't respond nicely I ask them why they asked me how I was if they really don't want to know. that gets them even more irratated and they have that look that says, I" sure hope this crazy man goes away soon!"
Anyone else tired of people always saying "how are you?" and not really being curious?
No, most of us do not go around angry, frustrated, scared or irritated. Sometimes I'm bored and tetchy during the workday, but mostly I'm happy. With ADD and some associated OCD and depression issues (minor, thankfully), I have to work really hard at that sometimes, but generally, I am delighted with my life.
Further, when I ask someone how they are, I genuinely want to know. Granted, my colleagues will generally just give me the more uplifting highlights (this is how I found out about one dude's adorable new baby girl), but with friends and family they will go into more detail and share both the good and the bad.
Look, no offense, but you could seriously do with some therapy, just based on what you've said here. The feelings you indicate should not be anyone's "normal."
Yep, what Jrz said. I get asked how are you a million times a day by coworkers and people I meet out and about and it never offends me. The standard answer is I'm fine or good...
I don't know why so many people are so mortally offended by small talk, exchanging hellos and how are you's...if I'm having a bad day I call a friend or family member to chat. I don't take out my anger on coworkers or people just trying to be polite.
You're about to pop, aren't you? If someone asks me in passing how I am doing, I am great. If someone cares, then maybe I will tell them that I am not so great. Don't tell strangers, customers that you are angry or frustrated. You'll just scare them.
Jrz nailed it. There is something wrong here and something needs to be done.
What happened to "good morning," "good afternoon," or a simple hello? Everywhere I go in public the canned greeting is "how are you?" Of course the standard response is fine or great. But how many of us are fine or great all the time? Most of us are frustrated, angry, scared and irritated.
So when I am asked "how are you?" I decided to be different and reply: "Not so good" or angry, frustrated, scared or irritated. Only once in a while will the person at the store or service provider get the joke and respond to my comments or express their interest or concern. Usually they look at me funny and write me off as a nut. (They are problem right!) Then when they don't respond nicely I ask them why they asked me how I was if they really don't want to know. that gets them even more irratated and they have that look that says, I" sure hope this crazy man goes away soon!"
Anyone else tired of people always saying "how are you?" and not really being curious?
I just say tolerable but having a decent day and leave it at that. I see nothing wrong with asking how are you, someone is trying to be nice and considerate. It sounds like you need at minimum a 4 day weekend to destress and relax but I would consider at least a week if not two to fully recharge.
What happened to "good morning," "good afternoon," or a simple hello? Everywhere I go in public the canned greeting is "how are you?" Of course the standard response is fine or great. But how many of us are fine or great all the time? Most of us are frustrated, angry, scared and irritated.
So when I am asked "how are you?" I decided to be different and reply: "Not so good" or angry, frustrated, scared or irritated. Only once in a while will the person at the store or service provider get the joke and respond to my comments or express their interest or concern. Usually they look at me funny and write me off as a nut. (They are problem right!) Then when they don't respond nicely I ask them why they asked me how I was if they really don't want to know. that gets them even more irratated and they have that look that says, I" sure hope this crazy man goes away soon!"
Anyone else tired of people always saying "how are you?" and not really being curious?
I have worked with the public for 54 years and, yeah, it's kinda 'mandatory' to say "How are you today?". I AM really curious and want to know. If they are "good" or "great" then I can be pretty much assured they aren't going to be grumpy with me. They ask me back too. I always say "good" or "great" because it's true. Sometimes I even say "I'm excellant, thank you!", and it's true. One guy I said that to looked surprised and said, "You are??". I said, "Yes, I are!". I've also had customers tell me they aren't feeling very well, they've been sick or in the hospital or other stuff and I DO care enough to make their 'shopping experience' easier. I like my customers, have fun with them and I won't worry that you might come in contact with me and get irritated if I ask how you are.
I remember one time, in a restaurant, I told a lady to "Have a good day!". She looked pissy and said "I don't know why you people say that because you don't mean it". I told her that yes, I did mean it, but she was welcome to have any sort of day she wanted to. I wasn't rude about it but I meant that too.
I've seen people use both. I admit that after hearing, "Hi/hello/hey" for so long, I was so surprised by this statement I didn't even answer. My professor looked at me like, "...?" when I didn't respond. Oh, is this the new accepted greeting?
But how many of us are fine or great all the time? Most of us are frustrated, angry, scared and irritated.
No, most people aren't great all the time but equally, most people also aren't frustrated, angry, scared and irritated all/most of the time either. If that's how you usually feel, there is something wrong and you should speak to a therapist.
Quote:
So when I am asked "how are you?" I decided to be different and reply: "Not so good" or angry, frustrated, scared or irritated. Only once in a while will the person at the store or service provider get the joke and respond to my comments or express their interest or concern. Usually they look at me funny and write me off as a nut. (They are problem right!) Then when they don't respond nicely I ask them why they asked me how I was if they really don't want to know. that gets them even more irratated and they have that look that says, I" sure hope this crazy man goes away soon!"
Anyone else tired of people always saying "how are you?" and not really being curious?
They ask because it's polite, not because they expect a perfect stranger to bare their intimate emotions to them. You are taking your anger and frustration out on people who don't deserve it. They look at you funny possibly because they can see you might be suffering from something like depression and it makes them uncomfortable because they don't even know you and don't know what to do. You need help and maybe your behavior regarding this is a cry for help. But it's misdirected. Please seek out a therapist who can help you.
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