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Well this is part 1 of a problem that I have, so there is the group in college that I used to hang out with and it is BIG. Like there were 18 regulars all the time, now over time it has dwindled down to about 12 or so. I used to really be in with this group and I will admit that I did some stupid things, like being immature and trying to get attention from everyone so I would say and do all kinds of stuff. Well I kinda got kicked out in a way about 6 years ago. Every once in while, I still see the main guy that everyone leans on. I finally asked him if he had a problem with me and he said no and he has always been nice enough to hang out with me every once in a while. I know that some of the other people have a problem with me though and he said he couldn't tell me why because they wouldn't tell him.
Well I was thinking about everything and I saw a pic of a party that was thrown of some of the people that did not care for me and everyone was there and I never got a call or an invite but he and I did hang out the next day. The thing is is that I am in a stupid small town(small town mentality stupid I know) and everyone hangs out in cliques and if you don't, then there must be something wrong with you. He is well connected for someone that doesn't have a fantastic job and there is no way that I could not go out to the clubs or bars in the next city over without anyone not knowing who he is, he really knows that many people.
Well I was thinking about everything and I know I have made some mistakes and acted dumb and I am kinda sad and my heart feels heavy thinking about everything. I don't have family to lean on and I just moved here for a job and I have been here going on my second year and I only have 1 friend which is my roommate. I would like to start hanging out with my friend and this group again because not everyone in it hates me so should I try to hang back out with them and reintergrate myself in the group and say the hell with it? Or should I try to do something else? One thing I have to say though, is that I am seriously tired of being alone.
Is an option to find new friends? I know it's a small town but perhaps there is either another group or a smaller sub group that you could begin to hang out with. It is hard in a small town or close community - but I would hate for you to get hurt further and I feel the pack mentality that goes with large groups is just not positive. Perhaps if you feel he is trustworthy you could ask this friend's perspective, or to introduce you to some others he thinks you would get along with.
Is an option to find new friends? I know it's a small town but perhaps there is either another group or a smaller sub group that you could begin to hang out with. It is hard in a small town or close community - but I would hate for you to get hurt further and I feel the pack mentality that goes with large groups is just not positive. Perhaps if you feel he is trustworthy you could ask this friend's perspective, or to introduce you to some others he thinks you would get along with.
Well it's kinda hard because I don't do the same things that most people do here, I can be laid back but I am also an intellectual and there is no respect for that here in this country.
It's kinda funny because I actually find out about a meet up group and I went to go meet them at the last minute and the main guy was freaking awesome...and that's where it ends.
So these new people show up, and its two guys and two girls. He says hey this is so and so and they just ignore him and Im like wtf? really? They didn't even look at me. I was taking it kinda personal when he introduced another guy and they did the same thing! He finally looked at them and said hey look f******, say hi! and finally one of the girls said hi but that was it. I don't know but this whole small town mentality is ignorant and stupid. I am honestly too smart for this. I live in Tx and I am really debating about driving the 2 hrs it takes to get to houston just to meet some nice decent people. The drive will suck but if I don't have to deal with ignorance then maybe it is worth it.
Btw, I will try to ask that guy friend of mine about some people he can introduce me to. Maybe he knows someone. Thanks.
OP, have you asked this guy if he thinks the group would accept you back? I would try to get back in with his help if he thinks you have a chance.
I honestly don't know and I am afraid to ask because it looks pathetic and needy..can you guys please take me back?? I don't know, I know that I want to hang out, but I don't want to appear like I am begging, I would never forgive myself and be disgusted. I can just try to hang out and if they say anything good and if not that's ok too.
Why ask if they can "take you back"? Why not just apologize and make amends? You've admitted that you behaved atrociously. An apology can go a long way.
I just came to say that, reading the OP's intro statement, I am SO thankful to live in a large city.
I definitely feel for you, growing up in the suburbs I often felt shades of what you're mentioning. I can imagine in small rural towns the feeling is exacerbated.
damn dude, I don't beg to be in any group. I make my own group of friends. I also enjoy being alone. Don't try to fit in where you many not belong; but eventually you will find where you do fit. To hell with rude people who can't even say hello.
Try to begin liking yourself-loving yourself. Spend time alone and feel ok with that.
Be friendly to people when you're out and about and don't act needy-act confident and upbeat.
If you still don't meet people you click with but you must live in that small town due to work-then make the best of it until you can move.
Sorry you're going through this and glad you learned you lesson on proper behavior.
I personally would not try to get back into that group. I know you feel lonely and miss what you had but I'd rather be alone than hang out with people who don't like me. I say to keep hanging out with the guy you are still friends with from your old group. Also, contact the nice guy from the meetup group and see if he wants to hang without the rude people.
Well this is part 1 of a problem that I have, so there is the group in college that I used to hang out with and it is BIG. Like there were 18 regulars all the time, now over time it has dwindled down to about 12 or so. I used to really be in with this group and I will admit that I did some stupid things, like being immature and trying to get attention from everyone so I would say and do all kinds of stuff. Well I kinda got kicked out in a way about 6 years ago. Every once in while, I still see the main guy that everyone leans on. I finally asked him if he had a problem with me and he said no and he has always been nice enough to hang out with me every once in a while. I know that some of the other people have a problem with me though and he said he couldn't tell me why because they wouldn't tell him.
Well I was thinking about everything and I saw a pic of a party that was thrown of some of the people that did not care for me and everyone was there and I never got a call or an invite but he and I did hang out the next day. The thing is is that I am in a stupid small town(small town mentality stupid I know) and everyone hangs out in cliques and if you don't, then there must be something wrong with you. He is well connected for someone that doesn't have a fantastic job and there is no way that I could not go out to the clubs or bars in the next city over without anyone not knowing who he is, he really knows that many people.
Well I was thinking about everything and I know I have made some mistakes and acted dumb and I am kinda sad and my heart feels heavy thinking about everything. I don't have family to lean on and I just moved here for a job and I have been here going on my second year and I only have 1 friend which is my roommate. I would like to start hanging out with my friend and this group again because not everyone in it hates me so should I try to hang back out with them and reintergrate myself in the group and say the hell with it? Or should I try to do something else? One thing I have to say though, is that I am seriously tired of being alone.
Have you ever tried; MMORPG's... You should look into it because people on games like that are going to be nice compared to the people you're around. If you're going to throw your time away; let it be with nice people and not complete idiots. I cannot stand being around people that I dislike. I would try being yourself rather then trying to be someone else just for a hint of attention cause you don't fit well. You are who you are... and if you don't like yourself. Use that to your advantage, if you cannot laugh at yourself then you shouldn't laugh at another.
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