Searching for new friends (wife, girlfriend, person, member)

[3DaysJourney]

When most of us are looking for new friends usually means adding new friends to our old friends. For me however it is more like losing my old friends that I should find new friends. Please let me explain. About ten years ago I had msn messenger. I used to talk to on one to three friends at a time. I was so busy talking I neglected some of my responsibilities. Also with talking with too many at once made long breaks in between and a person waiting. Not fair I said: better I meet with a friend one person at a time. They will understand that I am trying to give attention and to stay in the conversation.

As years moved on less people was on the messenger on my list. I had to delete many from game sites I had belonged to. People that hardly ever used it. Now even so regular friends also have drifted doing other things in life. My life also changed. I moved to a different state and now I have a vision disability. My vision problem however does not change anything about my typing only that I need my girlfriend to read me my letters or any conversation in messenger. I’ve been writing to friends over the years for ten years. But the last couple of years everyone almost has vanished. Writing to friends now often I just get a few sentences. One friend keeps using his text instead of home computer. One uses and I pad. My brother uses face book. I have only now 2 or 3 that or are ok at writing. This is only like once a week however. That’s not saying much. Not compared to the days when these friends would e mail all the time. Some might say it is temporary. This has been going on over 2 years. Nothing is changing. Ever since face book, ipads, and texting got popular people such as my friends no longer deal much with e mail. That leaves me writing for almost no reason at all. I have become very sad at times because my box is very quiet now. Just like e mail stole people away from the post office so did face book steal and text and other small gadgets take friends away from messenger and e mail. I’ve posted on facebook. No one is too serious on fb. It’s just a bunch of goofing off and putting up pictures. I like real letters and real conversations.

I don’t want to be disappointed anymore writing to most of my old contacts. When I am not worth writing to that much anymore just to receive a few lines its time for me to move on. They made the choice of doing this. I am no longer going to keep going miles for the few steps they are only taking to keep in contact. There are no arguments. No one is mad at one another. No one has said I have done wrong. It’s just mostly they are saying I’m really busy. But I have friend named Eddy who lives in England. He is an architect who works all day. He helps his wife who is sick. He still is great at writing to me. He is a true friend. I won’t leave him as he has been a faithful contact. I have one friend Lorena. She is also blind like me. She is also good at writing back. I won’t leave her either. She is also faithful of a friend I have friend named Donna. She writes ok but she keeps telling me about her broken marriage between her and her husband.

Why am I writing this? I want to know where online I can make new friends that I can talk to them on messenger or if they can write by e mail. Kind of friends that would say I got a letter in respect I will also write back. It does not have to be that day but maybe sometime during the week in their schedule. That’s what Eddy does. Where do I go to make friends online that would chat, write and e mail and stuff?

Please let me say this first. I’m kind of a nice guy kind of because maybe I don’t always say the right things. I am not one of those macho acting have to know about cards and beer kind of guy. I don’t drink or do drugs or hang our out at bars. I don’t steal from others even though when I was going to school in my twenties I used to steal from the shopping centers and malls. I’ve tried drinking. I’ve tried drugs and did not care for them much. Age does not matter to me who wants to write to me but I have come to find kids under 18 even my sisters kids don’t have much interest in me. I’m not mean to kids or anything like that. I guess I just don’t want them to get in trouble as much as I did myself. Maybe some of these descriptions would give some help where I can look for friends.

Whoever can help I appreciate what you can tell me. I’ve posted at forums for years. People want to post mostly not make friends. Where do you suggest I should go online?

[BirdieBelle]

Those aren't friends; they're pen pals.

Try actual relationships with people in real life.

My grandmother was completely blind and got out three days a week with a chorus group she had joined, and also met once a week with a 50+ club that had outings to attractions around town.

If you have a girlfriend, you can have real friends too.

[20yrsinBranson]

Many people on these types of messenger programs do not take these "friendships" seriously. It is not meaningful to them and so they do not really care one way or the other about maintaining these relationships.

I agree with the previous poster who said it would be much better if you could make friends in real life. They are infinitely more satisfying. If you want to extend those IRL friendships to message them online, that is cool, but limiting your social interaction to faceless people on the internet is not a good idea, and not very healthy.

20yrsinBranson

[FLgirl727]

I don't agree with the previous posters, I think you can develop real friendships through communications online. I personally have developed a few, which have lasted for years now.

Playing the zynga poker game which is accessible through Facebook, I have met and kept friendships with people I have and will not ever meet in person. I think the key is finding a venue where you have something in common with the people you meet and chat with, so only you can choose the website which will suit you. Me, I love to play poker, so when I am online playing, several of my "buddies" will come sit at my table to play and chat. How much communication you have is up to you, since you could share email addresses and such to keep in closer contact.

As to these forum sites, realize that most people posting are just fulfilling some kind of "narcissistic" need, and friendship is not what they are seeking.

Good luck to you.

[cpg35223]

Find something that is real in your life. A hobby, a passion, an interest. Then find like-minded people, folks with whom you have something in common. That's where your friendships will come from a lot of the time.

[3DaysJourney]

I am sure your advice is sound. But real at least right now is not working. When I go out and people see I have sun glasses on seeing that my girlfriend is guiding me while I walk people are staring. Going to the store I pick up items off the shelf. I need to feel the boxes and packages. If I can’t figure out what it is I will ask my girlfriend what is inside. My guessing is pretty good but more people are staring at me.

This is why I feel comfortable online. No one stares at me. No one knows the difference how I go about from place to place. The Lighthouse for the Blind of Chicago has already taken 2 months to try to figure out how to get 22workers out here to tell me about some speech equipment I can use. When I could see I was ok at Church. I don’t feel comfortable in large gathering like Church or movie theatres. I do well in the company of 1 to the people at the most outside of myself. My girlfriend whom I met online I met through a friend (her brother) who was a game league Sorry. When he went to visit me from Chicago he got lost. This got her online to talk to me to find out where he was. Since then we have been talking since. My internet friends are long time friends. Its just they are not on the computer that much as they used to be.

I have been here for 7 years. I don’t know my way in Illinois like I know Calif. We’re going to be moving back there in Orange County. I am familiar with the area since at that time I could see. The streets are pretty straight and direct in cities like Anaheim of no worries of windy roads. Buses also stay pretty much on the major same street cause each street is miles long. I may make friend when we are about in Orange County. But that is still another ten or so months ahead. I just thought maybe someone knew of the sites to meet friends of various interest and ages. Right now I am trying out some different fitness clubs. Usually at this place I meet acquaintances to say hi for a few minutes till everyone goes on to the routines. I met one friend Tim at Bally’s we used to be workout parents. He is one of them not writing much anymore.

If anyone wants to play spades at pogo games or Literati at yahoo games let me know. Literati is just like scrabble pretty much. I’m pretty good at spades but I am just not as fast as some want me to be and starting using the F word against m. I play at the rate kind of like a real card game being played at the table. They want this game to fly like a windmill.

I’ve been on Christian posting forums. Most posters want to be right about their interpretations. It turns out to be more of a contest of wits than anything else. I do my studies at home and learn much more than that way. I find City Data to be more informative than a lot of Bible forums I have been to. Especially when some will ignore news stories about murder, child molestation whether patterns and such almost too some members this stuff does not even exist. I am one who is concerned looking into issues.

I would like to meet other people online who are also not Christian. To say I would like to have both Christian and non Christian friends just as so no one gets offended if I use God’s name in a statement or to prove something going on in my life at forums this leads to debates. I just want to meet and get along and friends as if we both like sports football baseball that’s great with me.

I don’t think anything is going to be much real life situations here in Illinois till we get to Calif. where I know my way and going all over. In the mean time I’ll take suggestion to meet friends online.