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you know the type, the kind who may not actually be a sociopath or a clinical narcissist (but they certainly have at least a few narcissistic traits), but they are cold, biting people with a knack for discovering the weak spot in a friend and exploiting it (mainly because of projection, the friend sees parts of themselves in the friend because they have disowned those same things in themselves). or they may be complimentary in a backhanded sort of way, leaving the friend constantly having to "please" the other but for some reason they never can. the friend subtly ignores the accomplishments of the other and focuses on the blind spots and faults/failures in the other until the friend ends the relationship because they feel so rotten in their presence. often the one who ends it will be honest in a way that they never could be when they were friends.
how do these know it alls deal with being shut out of their friend's life? do they ever eventually see their role in the problem or is it more likely it all going to be the other guy's fault?
you know the type, the kind who may not actually be a sociopath or a clinical narcissist (but they certainly have at least a few narcissistic traits), but they are cold, biting people with a knack for discovering the weak spot in a friend and exploiting it (mainly because of projection, the friend sees parts of themselves in the friend because they have disowned those same things in themselves). or they may be complimentary in a backhanded sort of way, leaving the friend constantly having to "please" the other but for some reason they never can. the friend subtly ignores the accomplishments of the other and focuses on the blind spots and faults/failures in the other until the friend ends the relationship because they feel so rotten in their presence. often the one who ends it will be honest in a way that they never could be when they were friends.
how do these know it alls deal with being shut out of their friend's life? do they ever eventually see their role in the problem or is it more likely it all going to be the other guy's fault?
It's always the other guys fault.
If you have a "friend" like this I'd suggest you move on, or not get too emotionally invested.
If you choose to "shut" someone out of your life, you owe them an explanation or at least the chance to correct their behaviour.
Shutting someone out without warning or advice is the act of a passive aggressive personality (while we are throwing around diagnoses) and people who handle their personal relationships this way aren't in the position to judge anyone else.
It is always going to be the other person's fault the friendship ended and they will not really care because they had you and they can find another you just with a different name.
If you choose to "shut" someone out of your life, you owe them an explanation or at least the chance to correct their behaviour.
Shutting someone out without warning or advice is the act of a passive aggressive personality (while we are throwing around diagnoses) and people who handle their personal relationships this way aren't in the position to judge anyone else.
I don't agree, you do not "owe" anyone anything. I used to have a friend who has been shut out of my life completely for about 4 years now, he knows why and anyone who is honest with themselves knows why others shut them out of their lives.
It was HIS CHOICE to do what he did and it was MY CHOICE to shut him out, and I do NOT OWE HIM ANYTHING.
i have done this a grand total of once in my life. i learned not to ignore the early warning signs of a difficult person and that there was a lot of co dependency in that friendship
I don't agree, you do not "owe" anyone anything. I used to have a friend who has been shut out of my life completely for about 4 years now, he knows why and anyone who is honest with themselves knows why others shut them out of their lives.
It was HIS CHOICE to do what he did and it was MY CHOICE to shut him out, and I do NOT OWE HIM ANYTHING.
Ok well, when your husband takes off with your best friend and they say "we don't owe you anything, even an explanation" you will be fine with that...
If you go about discarding people without warning or explanation at first sign of wrongdoing, you must make sure you are absolutely perfect yourself. You also cannot define yourself as a "friend" as friends don't do that.
Ok well, when your husband takes off with your best friend and they say "we don't owe you anything, even an explanation" you will be fine with that...
Hahahahahahahaa..............
IF my husband thinks he can do better.........more power to him, I already established over 10 years ago that if he was unhappy and found someone else to be a man, and do not waste my time just tell me he is leaving and leave.
So yeah, I would be fine with that, I may not like it or and I may disagree but I WILL NOT stop him because he is a grown man who can make his own decisions and I rely on MYSELF to take care of myself. I have a husband who is a PARTNER..........NOT AN OWNER and he has a wife who is a PARTNER..........NOT AN OWNER.
I am in no way perfect but I DID NOT DISGARD the friendship HE DID and it was his choice to do so and it was all about MONEY. So as a friend if I am NOT more important than YOUR MONEY.........I do not want to be part of your life.
FYI: NOT the first sign of wrong doing either just the LAST thing he did.
self-centered arrogant know it alls, are parasites that feed off others- ironically, because they are so insecure themselves
maturity has to fit in this equation-
dont waste your time,,with any guy like this-
take it as a learning experience,,,,and how to recognize red flags early on
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