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You are 2000% NOT in the wrong and STICK, PLEASE, I BEG, URGE and PLEAD with you to stick to your damn guns. I love when a strong character as yourself smells B.S. and tries to believe its lemons. You're brother is a GROWN ass man with two beautiful daughters and the ones who should be getting all the sympathy, the ones who should be getting taken care of, the ones who SHOULD be getting all the attention are the daughters. Not this loser who doesn't care about anyone else but himself. No one is perfect, we all have flaws and its okay to seek help and ask for it but then there's overkill and your brother is just that. OVERKILL.
The problem with your family is that they probably internally feel like its their fault he is the way he is. So now they have this, what I like to call "savior complex" where they feel as if they need to save him now. I've seen this happen with plenty of old friends, family-friends and blood relatives myself. You're brother doesn't deserve anyone's attention, as hard as it may be, your family needs to let him learn for himself. Sometimes if we can't be taught a lesson in life, we have to realize it ourselves in a hard way and sometimes it won't be till its too late but he's writing his own destiny in life.
You stay strong, stick by your guns and don't let your family guilt you into this and bring you down with them. He's already a heavy load to carry and you know this, don't go for it. Keep being the voice of reason, the truth and if everyone is mad at you for it, TOO BAD. You can't make everyone happy.
My brother is not really a loser, he's just made a lot of dumb mistakes. He always gets preferential treatment even though my mother and stepdad don't even see him much and my mom mostly complains about him, how he won't pay down the student loan that has her name on it, how he won't stop and visit and now, how he's spending Father's Day with my uncle and cousin instead of them. It gets old I tell you.
He is stealing not because of drugs, but because of his kids? Have you ever dealt with a person who has a drug addiction? They are one of the most selfish kind of people around! They'd steal their own kids' toys to pay for drugs. I've come to learn not to buy things for their child(ren) because it causes the child more pain.
You do not have "WAY worse issues" than the OP. You have different issues than the OP.
Not only are drug addicts or alcoholics selfish they are great manipulators who know how to
emotionally assault a person's soul.
What sort of job do you have? Is there any excuse you can make along thelines of "my company has an unwritten policy that frowns upon employees associating with felons and I do not want to risk my future." Then urge dad to hire a driver.
I think your family is asking a LOT of you, but I understand the impulse they have to want to do everything they can to turn your brother around. One day they will give up, but you don't have to wait for that to happen to distance yourself.
That is a good idea. In fact there are many jobs where it could be a problem.
If it isn't too inconvenient you could consider giving him rides to medical appointments (and job interviews) but I would never let him stay at my house. The chances of him stealing your property is just too high.
When I wrote this yesterday I was thinking that these were places beyond the bus line, otherwise why didn't he just ride the bus. But if the bus is available, of course he should be riding the bus.
Also, I didn't consider that if you were stopped by the police and your brother had drugs you could be charged and possible the police/court system could confiscate your car. So ignore my first advice. Do not give him rides.
Continue with my second piece of advice and do not allow him to ever stay at your house.
Also, your father is encouraging your brother's bad behavior and punishing your good behavior by willing his home to your brother. I hope that your dad changes his mind on that as it is unfair and wrong.
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He is stealing not because of drugs, but because of his kids? Have you ever dealt with a person who has a drug addiction? They are one of the most selfish kind of people around! They'd steal their own kids' toys to pay for drugs. I've come to learn not to buy things for their child(ren) because it causes the child more pain.
