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We all sort of started to get gfs and started to peel off and become less of a group. Well Bob met a girl got involved and became less available to hang out, as people tend to do as they couple up.
Bob was sort of an *******, self centered and a bit of a narcissistic type.... I don't mean he was a bad guy, but definitely seemed to be a guy who was the type to be out looking for his own best interest, pretty much a jerk at times as well.... IDK... hard to really explain it.
I lost touch with "Bob" over the last 20 yrs, you know how things like that tend to happen as we get older.....
I recently had to take a training seminar on safety in the oil refinery industry, long story, as I'm not involved with that industry, but our company is doing work with a popular oil refinery and part of their "safety" is to take the training, just to get on site.
During this safety training I walk into the class and I sit down, do my thing, get ready for the instructor to show up...after a few ,he does, a middle aged guy, about 46 or 47.... guy seems to be familiar to me.... went on for about 15 minutes or so and then he says his name....
He was one of my buddies from 20 yrs ago... he seemed to have changed... didn't really recognize him, he was the instructor of the class....
During the class on oil refinery operations it came out that he was a fireman/ search and rescue operations for that industry, and without going into a long story, that is a really dangerous job, as is the whole oil refinery industry, but that is best left for another thread. This guy told some stories of some of the typical accidents on those sites and how he was involved with the safety operations... things that I was thoroughly impressed with.
This guy when I knew him was a petulant bratty ******* basically... now here, 20 plus yrs, later he's a fire captain teaching safety courses to contractors... he had a leadership quality about him, something I have never seen in him as a 22 yr old kid....
I know that people change... I get it... but it was just a strange experience.....
We exchanged phone numbers and hopefully we'll get together with a couple of other buddies....
It is just a weird experience as we grow older.........
I take it you've never been to a high school reunion.
I went to one. I skipped the dinner and just went for drinks after and came across the class head drug dealer and sat and talked to him. He was a family man now and showed me pictures of his adorable daughters and was now an antiques dealer. He had completely changed. He did make fun of the whole thing and said, "Selling antiques isn't much different than selling drugs - by low and sell high." We laughed.
Take a trip down fraternity row at any college on any given weekend. The parties and behavior and massive drinking. Then these same people completely change after they graduate and even hold prominent jobs.
The way we are growing up isn't always indicative of how we will be as adults.
Yep. People change more in the five years after they leave school than they do for the rest of their lives.
That's why I just shake my heads at those people who whine, "Everybody I knew in high school was self-centered and an a-hole to boot, and I couldn't care less about seeing them again." People who say this, aside from having a first-class persecution complex, can't come to grips with the fact that people do indeed change. After all, teenagers are pretty much completely self-centered, self-absorbed, and shallow as a rule, regardless of what high school one attends. And it never occurs to the guy who complains about everybody else in high school that he might have not been much of a picnic himself to be around.
I take it you've never been to a high school reunion.
I went to one. I skipped the dinner and just went for drinks after and came across the class head drug dealer and sat and talked to him. He was a family man now and showed me pictures of his adorable daughters and was now an antiques dealer. He had completely changed. He did make fun of the whole thing and said, "Selling antiques isn't much different than selling drugs - by low and sell high." We laughed.
Take a trip down fraternity row at any college on any given weekend. The parties and behavior and massive drinking. Then these same people completely change after they graduate and even hold prominent jobs.
The way we are growing up isn't always indicative of how we will be as adults.
Yep. I've had any number of encounters like this. One of the biggest self-centered asses I knew in high school wound up devoting his life to the homeless. I've never asked what path he took to get there. But if he can become the exact opposite of what he was as a teenager, then anyone can.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Yep. People change more in the five years after they leave school than they do for the rest of their lives.
That's why I just shake my heads at those people who whine, "Everybody I knew in high school was self-centered and an a-hole to boot, and I couldn't care less about seeing them again." People who say this, aside from having a first-class persecution complex, can't come to grips with the fact that people do indeed change. After all, teenagers are pretty much completely self-centered, self-absorbed, and shallow as a rule, regardless of what high school one attends. And it never occurs to the guy who complains about everybody else in high school that he might have not been much of a picnic himself to be around.
They may very well change. Doesn't mean I have to give a flying . Good for them if they change, does not affect my life one bit since I live 300 miles from my old HS in Southern VA and haven't been back to the grounds since 10th grade.
Yep. People change more in the five years after they leave school than they do for the rest of their lives.
That's why I just shake my heads at those people who whine, "Everybody I knew in high school was self-centered and an a-hole to boot, and I couldn't care less about seeing them again." People who say this, aside from having a first-class persecution complex, can't come to grips with the fact that people do indeed change. After all, teenagers are pretty much completely self-centered, self-absorbed, and shallow as a rule, regardless of what high school one attends. And it never occurs to the guy who complains about everybody else in high school that he might have not been much of a picnic himself to be around.
I guess after rereading my initial OP it pretty much falls under the "duh", of course people change. It was just odd seeing it right in front of my eyes.
I didn't attend any class reunions, and don't have much desire to got to future ones either. I am a loner type and don't have a large circle of friends. When I am in a groups of people I care about I have a good time and can be fine.
I was just never the type to need a lot of people around me, I don't get that mentality, it seems that some people just can't be on their own or have some other issues, I'm not saying people with lots and lots of friend have "issues" I guess I commenting more on the type of person who "collects" friends, such as the FB types that have hundreds and hundreds of "friends"
To me a true friend is rare and valuable......at the end of the day all of those FB friends aren't going to be standing at your grave side when you buy the farm...
I think most people will change but not everyone will grow. I've been out of high school since 1997 and some guys are still being idiots smoking dope, working odd jobs and living pay check to pay check. Then you have others that have gone on to earn PhD's and are professors and then others are professionals in some field.
Sadly, some have also made choices bad enough to where they're not longer with us.
I would say that if someone hasn't changed from 18 to 38, then their life probably isn't where they want it to be.
I work with the elderly, and every day they will say,"whatever you do.....don`t get old!"
If you have something that you want to do, do it now, while you can, because if you wait like I did, it may be too late."
It makes me enjoy life a little better somehow, and I think to myself...I don`t want to grow up!
I feel like I have grown spiritually and mentally since High school, and I`m glad because I was a smart ass, but a part of me don`t wanna grow up, and get old.
I think most people will change but not everyone will grow. I've been out of high school since 1997 and some guys are still being idiots smoking dope, working odd jobs and living pay check to pay check. Then you have others that have gone on to earn PhD's and are professors and then others are professionals in some field.
Sadly, some have also made choices bad enough to where they're not longer with us.
I would say that if someone hasn't changed from 18 to 38, then their life probably isn't where they want it to be.
I'm probably older than your dad. Lots of my high school friends are very successful, grad degrees, millionaires, etc., but they still like to smoke a little dope.
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. Good for them if they change, does not affect my life one bit since I live 300 miles from my old HS in Southern VA and haven't been back to the grounds since 10th grade.
