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Somebody sent me a nasty anonymous message about how my kids wouldn't want anything to do with me when I grow up, since I don't do anything for my parents now.
This isn't about my parents, I see them at least once a week and I do all sorts of things for them, their taxes, coloring their hair, altering their clothes, giving them dinner even though my mom always demands extra food to take home, handling customer service issues for them (mom can't talk to a phone company or cable company and get anything done), etc. My sisters don't do anything like that.
What this is really about is that I have endured so many years of horrible Thanksgiving dinners...I get a migraine at the beginning of November and it usually doesn't go away until after Thanksgiving. I've realized during the last year that my sister is not someone I would ever choose to be friends with if we weren't related. I can't help her learn to cook, we aren't children and she thinks her cooking is great. I can't even talk to her for more than five minutes without getting a headache. As soon as I pick up the phone and it's her, I go to the freezer and get an ice pack for my head.
I've thought about inviting a few extra people so my relatives would have to behave...we live by the military base and they have a program where you can invite a couple of soldiers who can't go home for dinner, but my family wouldn't feel like they had to behave...dad has dementia and schizophrenia, mom was born with her foot in her mouth, and probably we'd just end up spoiling the soldiers' Thanksgiving also.
There is no need to explain yourself to people who can't comprehend where you are coming from. I sympathize with you completely.
Last edited by carlitasway; 10-09-2013 at 12:28 PM..
Volunteering at a feed-the-less-fortunate is a great way to feel the spirit of Thanksgiving. We did it for years. Lots of good memories and came home counting our blessings.
I think the suggestion was to get out of it by lying about helping the poor. Very noble indeed.
That's crazy, I'm just curious how on earth you let your family take food from you? Locked door, problem solved! The reason they tread all over you hun is because you let them
Somebody sent me a nasty anonymous message about how my kids wouldn't want anything to do with me when I grow up, since I don't do anything for my parents now.
Wonder if it's the same person who fired an arrow at me because I consistently tell posters with awful parents (or family members) to either learn how to detach or go into no/low contact
I bet it's someone who has a rancorous relationship with their own offspring
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom
This isn't about my parents, I see them at least once a week and I do all sorts of things for them, their taxes, coloring their hair, altering their clothes, giving them dinner even though my mom always demands extra food to take home, handling customer service issues for them (mom can't talk to a phone company or cable company and get anything done), etc. My sisters don't do anything like that.
What this is really about is that I have endured so many years of horrible Thanksgiving dinners...I get a migraine at the beginning of November and it usually doesn't go away until after Thanksgiving. I've realized during the last year that my sister is not someone I would ever choose to be friends with if we weren't related. I can't help her learn to cook, we aren't children and she thinks her cooking is great. I can't even talk to her for more than five minutes without getting a headache. As soon as I pick up the phone and it's her, I go to the freezer and get an ice pack for my head.
Check your messages. I'm going to PM a site that is a support board for people who have family problems.
First of all if I don't want to go I don't go.
If I want to fix my own meal at my home for just us that is what I do.
If anyone comes over to "demand" I attend the meal at their home and then thinks they are going to take part of what I have prepared "because that is what I would have brought" they get escorted out of my home without taking anything with them with the exception of my boot in their behind.
There is no reason to bow down to anyone even if it is "family", who cares, stay home, lock your doors, don't answer the phone, don't answer the door and enjoy you day with your children.
Book a cruise or resort vacation. Invite everyone and let them know your booking number. Tell them you need a break for your mental health. They can join you or not.
If you have it at your home next year, get it catered. Luby's will do everything for a pretty low cost. We did that one year and it was very easy. (The year we had 3 kids under 5 in my family.)
Yes, the Happy Horror Days are soon upon us. I typically can handle only one gathering with my family out of all of them. My answer to the problem - MEXICO. I walked into a travel agent at the time and said, "What have you got leaving tomorrow and the next day I was on the beach having Pedro bringing me shrip cocktails and Pina Colodas for breakfast. It was actually pretty cheap. Mexico doen't celebrate Thanksgiving so I did the next best thing and took an evening trip to this island for dinner and sat with people who had terrific stories and the food was great and I didn't have to clean all those dishes.
Right. I should have stopped reading here. Before the parts that state the OP has a schizophrenic father, a mother who cons food out of her daughter's household, and a sister she can't stand anyway.
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Volunteer to help as a family, then....
