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Uh, I'd be getting the hell outta there & never have anything to do with him again. It's as simple as that. No one's forcing you to stay there. Move out ASAP & get another job. His son isn't your responsibility either. It sounds like the son already kows what to do as soon as possible too & that's getting away from this crazy man.
i know his son isn't my responsibility, and i am certainly not running away with his kid. but i KNOW that his son is already getting very angry at his father and he is going to rebel, and i want him to know there is an adult who grew up hard as well who will be there if he needs somewhere to stay when he inevitably runs away, or gets angry and needs a day or two away from his father- etc. the kid is GREAT. we get along excellently. all we do is laugh and tell each other droll jokes. he is a VERY intelligent kid and so much fun to be around. we make time for each other. he is a blessing, not a burden. i would never want it to come across as such.
as long as i can be in this beautiful place with no difficulties, i am riding it out. i already have invitations from more well heeled friends to move in with them if i have to- i even have a friend who has a lawyer on retainer who offered his services if need be. i am not going to abandon my wonderful little pad here without a reckoning. and he has always taken the path of least resistance when it comes to getting rid of people, strangely. he has NEVER thrown anyone out without whom he hasn't given at least 3 months chance. he is actually pathologically lazy in that way. so that is working on my side. as long as i pay my rent and keep my mouth shut and do my part to keep up the estate i really feel like it will be ok. and he knows i am happy here and that i could get really mean. we are in the process of becoming a non profit and i could really wreck that if i wanted. i dont want to. live and let live.
I'm more than a little confused as to what it is you want from readers here, because with every suggestion from someone you come back in a defensive way as though you have everything all figured out already.
as long as i can be in this beautiful place with no difficulties, i am riding it out. i already have invitations from more well heeled friends to move in with them if i have to- i even have a friend who has a lawyer on retainer who offered his services if need be. i am not going to abandon my wonderful little pad here without a reckoning. and he has always taken the path of least resistance when it comes to getting rid of people, strangely. he has NEVER thrown anyone out without whom he hasn't given at least 3 months chance. he is actually pathologically lazy in that way. so that is working on my side. as long as i pay my rent and keep my mouth shut and do my part to keep up the estate i really feel like it will be ok. and he knows i am happy here and that i could get really mean. we are in the process of becoming a non profit and i could really wreck that if i wanted. i dont want to. live and let live.
I think you will eventually find that you are far too wrapped up in the family drama to function well. Why don't you take advantage of the momentum this series of events has caused and find a new studio now? You have friends who are willing to help. Strike while the iron is hot.
I'm more than a little confused as to what it is you want from readers here, because with every suggestion from someone you come back in a defensive way as though you have everything all figured out already.
What answer are you seeking?
I agree but the OP did state that she did quit the job and is now trying to find another place of residence.
I'm more than a little confused as to what it is you want from readers here, because with every suggestion from someone you come back in a defensive way as though you have everything all figured out already.
What answer are you seeking?
After reading the OP's last post, I'm starting to wonder this, too. It's possible that our dialogue here has clarified her thoughts and feelings somewhat. Otherwise, I'm not at all sure what she's asking anymore.
Wow, I just don't know why you don't extricate yourself from this man. Whatever benefits you thought you would get out of it, do not seem worth it. Move and change your phone number.
Wow, I just don't know why you don't extricate yourself from this man. Whatever benefits you thought you would get out of it, do not seem worth it. Move and change your phone number.
This is what I am thinking, as well.
The guy has control issues. What better control than knowing a person doesn't want to leave the "compound" . . . It gives that person an edge . . . no matter what he/she does, in the end, they know that they will get away with a LOT, b/c the other person wants to continue living there.
I would say that is ultimate control, really. The more you like where you live and your studio space, the more you will be willing to put up with sh$t.
Just a side note: folks like your LL and former boss seek out others who are very compliant, work hard to excel, and strive to do what is expected. You have been the perfect fit. He knows he can do such things as play with your head by never complimenting you, but always saying something positive to others who are LESS competent/hard-working than you are. This is a very specific modus operandi . . . he is good at keeping you off balance.
You need to get the heck out of that whole situation as soon as you can conveniently do so. These types never let up. He will pop up with some sort of crazy-making when you least expect it -- and when the timing will prove to be very damaging (i.e., finals, a big project, etc).
He might not be a psychopath. I know narcissists and borderlines who would behave like that.
He definetely sounds like a difficult person.
I would say do not cross him and try to get away from this man. He is probably not a psychopath who will kill you but a person with personality disorders that can make your life very miserable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
look for employment somewhere else,,
he's too high maintenance,,, his mess is not for you to understand, or to carry his burdens,,,
id get a one way ticket out of crazy-ville
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue
Uh, I'd be getting the hell outta there & never have anything to do with him again. It's as simple as that. No one's forcing you to stay there. Move out ASAP & get another job. His son isn't your responsibility either. It sounds like the son already kows what to do as soon as possible too & that's getting away from this crazy man.
Listen up as well gleninindy...
Honestly, I get it when you get comfortable with your circumstances and except for the insane people you are dealing with it seems you lifestyles and standard of living are at the very least tolerable and at the very best, you are very content in your own slice of paradise.
That being said, I personally can't do the crazy thing. I can be poor, I can be worked like a dog, I can be hungry but I cannot/will not tolerate being treated disrepectfully but especially by any assortment of lunatics. That's all I got for you kids and I hope it helps in some fashion or another. If not, re-read the previous posts with the excellent suggestions you have been given and get out of Dodge!
You need to get away.. From everything I have read I think you might want to send a note to the local Child Protective Services. There is something not normal there.
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Good advice...for you as well as gleninindy
