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I thought it was pretty clear from his first post that he doesn't send gifts to his siblings any more, viz:
"I am 50 years old and have tried to get my siblings off the "gift giving" thing with me. .. For some reason my siblings insist on sending me gifts. I am just not into it. Rather than respect my feelings they send me something anyways."
I have expressed this to them directly and they refuse to respect it. The problem is if I receive a gift I would feel bad if I did not give one in return. Every year I ask if we could just exchange greeting cards and every year a gift shows up a few days before Christmas.
Maybe next year I will suggest they donate to "The Human fund" in my name?
I have expressed this to them directly and they refuse to respect it.
It's their prerogative to enjoy giving to you even knowing that you're not reciprocating. Since when did gift-giving have to be something that falls under the "respect" umbrella in context? My point was that since your sister obviously wants to send you something and obviously continues to send you something, simply tell her that you can't use the PetSmart gift card but would be able to use Petco (or whatever) for which your animals thank her.
If someone wants to give you a gift it should be accepted graciously. Your behavior was churlish.
I think people often give what they would like to get. So you probably made her happy. I also like the idea of donating the card to a shelter but that won't help you stop the gift from coming. Perhaps when sister sees you are basically exchanging the same gift back and forth she'll realize the pointlessness of the situation.
OP, you did better than I would have. I just simply would not have sent anything. I have found that the first year they probably think you mistakenly forgot or whatever, the second year they think it couldn't have happened again could it and then the third year of not receiving a gift in return they finally get the picture. Usually, after 3 years those you do not wish to exchange gifts with finally get it and stop sending you one.
I honestly do not understand what the problem is, accept the gift graciously
and be happy that they think of you.
There is no need to feel guilty about not giving them a gift since they know how you
feel [ so do we] , were it me I would surely be able to come up with idea's/money for two gifts
for my siblings, it's not like you are gifting to 100's of friends and family.
Try it , it feels good to give a gift!
It would have been better if you would have sent her a note and told her that her gift from you is that you have contributed xxx $$$ (the face value of her gift card) to the Humane Society in her name.
Then mail the gift card to the Humane Society so they can use it to buy food or supplies for foster animals.
It's their prerogative to enjoy giving to you even knowing that you're not reciprocating. Since when did gift-giving have to be something that falls under the "respect" umbrella in context? My point was that since your sister obviously wants to send you something and obviously continues to send you something, simply tell her that you can't use the PetSmart gift card but would be able to use Petco (or whatever) for which your animals thank her.
If someone wants to give you a gift it should be accepted graciously. Your behavior was churlish.
I agree with this. You could have bought something online from them(it's rare you must go to a brick and mortar store to use a gift card nowadays) or like others said, you could have donated the card, any shelter would have been happy to get it.
I make more than many of my family, some of whom have money problems. But I still get them something because I enjoy it, and it's fine with all of us (in fairness they do feed me more often than vice versa). If someone really didn't want a gift though, I would much prefer they simply tell me rather than do something snarky in return.
Many millions of "gift card" dollars never get used.
The merchants LOVE this.
Gift cards are simply a very bad substitute for money.
They are little more than a mindless knee-jerk response of a spiritually empty nation in a big game of "pretend we care".
They are worse than REAL money because they are expressions of little that is is good and much of what is bad about holiday gift-giving in a secular, consumerist society.
Your sister's gift was tacky.
Your gift was hilarious.
It must really suck to have family members who care enough about you to make the effort to purchase and send something to you for Christmas.
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