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Again we just got a notice of a birthday (young nieces) party on Friday for the event being held on Sunday. Why in the h*ll do people think we just sit around all day waiting on them to decide when they want to do something? It is so inconsiderate of them. Even friends give us hours or a day or two notice for something, then if we decide to not to hurt feelings of those involved we then work our schedule to meet theirs. This is just my rant, yah I know I'm a bad person.
Not sure if your relatives follow this "rule," but for some, there's an unwritten rule that when you know that some people really wouldn't want to come to your event, and you really don't need them there, you invite them at the last minute. This way, they can gracefully decline because they have other plans, and you can say that at least you invited them. If you decline, no one's feelings will be hurt. I've seen this "rule" apply a lot to events I consider very unpleasant, like parties for children. I appreciate that the people know I'd rather not attend, so they are kind enough to invite me at the last minute. That way, I feel no obligation to go.
My father-in-law's family does this to us all of the time (his sisters). There are some things we don't get invited to, and others we will get an invite days before. It's really annoying.
You're not a bad person shadowwalker...you're just letting things that shouldn't... get to you.
It only seems "inconsiderate" because you're expecting more from them...THAT'S what causes the hurt...expectations.
Don't let it bother you...go if you can, don't if you can't....easy.
Again we just got a notice of a birthday (young nieces) party on Friday for the event being held on Sunday. Why in the h*ll do people think we just sit around all day waiting on them to decide when they want to do something? It is so inconsiderate of them. Even friends give us hours or a day or two notice for something, then if we decide to not to hurt feelings of those involved we then work our schedule to meet theirs. This is just my rant, yah I know I'm a bad person.
you or hubby drops by early on sunday-drops off a card -hugs the neice and leaves- tell them you have to deal with a crisis,,,whether its fixin a car-
the dishwasher doesnt work and leaking, the toilet is backing up,,,,
I have friends like this, and it used to aggravate me to no end. However, once I accepted that that's how they are, it made them much easier to deal with -- if we get a last-minute invitation and we're free, then we go. If we're not free, we don't go and life goes on. Occasionally we'll get some pushback about not being able to accept a last-minute invite, and I just smile and say "You know how busy things are!" and go on with my life.
We used to have this happen as well, especially with my in-laws. We used to try to rearrange our schedule to accomodate last minute requests, but that drove both my husband and I nuts, so we stopped. Funny thing is, once we made it clear that we weren't going to drop everything for last minute invites, get togethers suddenly got better planned.
My husband used to work from midnight to 8 AM. He would tell everyone that he needed at least a weeks notice if they wanted him to attend any event as he had to totally change his sleep schedule.
As a further reminder, if people kept ignoring that, he would call them up right before work one day and ask them to meet him for lunch two days later on his day off. Basically he would call them at 11 or 11:30 PM on Monday night and ask them to meet him at 3 o'clock AMfor lunch on Wednesday. They always got the hint after that and gave him plenty of advance notice.
Oh come on guys, procrastinators like me are just like this! we mean no harm, it is not some
scheme to not have you attend or even expecting you to attend knowing full and well
that it is last minute notice!
It might be sad to say for some, but my husband and I pretty much operate last minute.
When the kids were small I always had the invitations out 3 weeks before but now that it is
just us we do lots of thing last minute or with no warning. We call friends for last minute dinners ,outings , kayak trips , bowling etc. we really aren't that disappointed if some friends can't come because guess what? we know it is last minute.
hey , some of the best times we have had with friends are unscheduled. I hate it when friends want to plan things
six months in advance [ unless it is a wedding] have a little spontaneity .
I have to think that this is what people do when they don't really want someone there and this their way of letting them know. Inviting as an afterthought. Like when the neighbors have a loud all night party and invite you at the last minute so you won't call the cops. We have one relative that has always done this and our declining is always happily accepted.
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