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My job requires me to talk to attorneys on the phone all of the time. I got married in September & changed my name. I was speaking with an attorney this morning when he commented on my name change. He said he doesn't care for my new name, and prefers a 'nice Italian name' (my maiden name is Italian). He also asked me what the nationality of my new name is, (it sounds Native American, but it's German) and when he said it sounds Native American, he sounded disgusted. I decided to be the bigger person, and remained professional, while not saying anything. Now I'm wishing I had given him a piece of my mind. Who does he think he is?? (he also felt the need to tell me that his wife is Italian, & that he is Jewish). I've noticed that a lot of attorney's will talk about last names, and will ask what nationality my married name is, but they are usually at least nice about it & will comment on how unique it is.
No, definitely not. He was rude, but that doesn't mean you need to be also. Better to keep good relationships at your job than to "give someone a piece of your mind" when that can't really have any positive result. A smart person in this case says nothing, but of course, doesn't forget.
My job requires me to talk to attorneys on the phone all of the time. I got married in September & changed my name. I was speaking with an attorney this morning when he commented on my name change. He said he doesn't care for my new name, and prefers a 'nice Italian name' (my maiden name is Italian). He also asked me what the nationality of my new name is, (it sounds Native American, but it's German) and when he said it sounds Native American, he sounded disgusted. I decided to be the bigger person, and remained professional, while not saying anything. Now I'm wishing I had given him a piece of my mind. Who does he think he is?? (he also felt the need to tell me that his wife is Italian, & that he is Jewish). I've noticed that a lot of attorney's will talk about last names, and will ask what nationality my married name is, but they are usually at least nice about it & will comment on how unique it is.
Should I have said something?
Sometimes people try to sound clever or conversational but it doesn't work. I wouldn't take offence. It's not your problem that this attorney has poor social skills.
You: "It's funny you should mention that. My new husband and I were thinking about legally changing our last name to YOUR fabulous last name. We wanted to also ask if you would handle it for us pro bono."
It's Carolyn Hax's favorite response to stunningly ignorant behavior.
I love this.
Dear Abby's favorite response to nosy questions (which could have also worked in this situation) is "why do you ask?"
My canned response is usually "thank you for your opinion" and then I change the subject.
But no, you don't need to give him a piece of your mind. Many people are interested in heritage and small talk. If you prefer not to talk about it, see the three options above! Don't try so hard to get offended.
I think I would have said, What's in a name? It's the man behind it that's important and I consider it an honor to share his last name. That attorney was a......
This guy is in the jerk department and I would not worry about it . He obviously gives his opinion even if it is not asked . I have a family member and she does the "well if you ask me " thing and my husband always feels the need to say under his breath "we did 'nt ask you " LOL . Just consider this guy a jerk and leave it at that . I used to work for a bunch jack azz lawyers too and they always had something to say about something ..
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